True Grits

2010-09-28T09:23:00.002-05:00

just have time for a quickie, but that's ok since I don't know some of y'all that well anyway...

At Bud's soccer game

The ball was kicked and got stuck between one little boy's knees. As Bud was telling me about it after the game, he said that it was good that it stuck where it was, because it was a little too close to that boy's batteries.

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Sassafras just got her ears pierced. again. She had let them close after the first time at the age of 8. I guess she just wasn't ready. We got them done at a tattoo place. There's a beautiful gallery here that does piercings and tattoos, as well as selling art and doing shows. I'd link, but if you don't know where I live, you don't need to. The guy explained it really well and also explained to her why getting it done at the mall is nasty and unsanitary. So she has little silver barbells through her ears instead of some cheap bling done by some kid who doesn't know what they're doing and doesn't clean the piercing gun.

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I got a new job.

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the Hamster is playing preschool soccer this season. He spends most of his time doing his funny walk across the field (think of a very cool chicken taking loooonnnnggg steps) and picking flowers. Since his mother is the one who did the same thing on the softball field, I just laugh. The important thing is to just let him get used to being on the field.

****************

Pickles started playing the viola. This is the kid who has grip problems and still occasionally grips his fork in his fist instead of holding it correctly at the age of 9. Hopefully this will help his fine motor skills. And hopefully I can handle one of the kids learning a string instrument without killing them. I'm really sensitive to the sound of a cat being strangled with it's own tail.
Weird, I know.

2010-08-19T10:31:00.003-05:00

Since I didn't do weird news yesterday, I thought I'd do a quickie today. I also thought I'd write a short little blog post...

Anywho, here's a little story for ya. Some Canadian businessmen used black bears to defend their crop. Now unfortunately, what they're growing is illegal. And feeding the bears dogfood to get them to stay in the area is illegal. So now, about 15 black bears are roont, thousands of dollars were spent in legal fees, and people are going to be locked up.

What was the crop?

Cannabis sativa.

I know I have kind of a controversial view of this plant in some of the circles I run in. Being a member of my church, I should refrain from drugs. I agree with this to an extent, although I think my ideals are quite a bit different from someone who leaves the hospital with a vaccinated circumcised baby and a prescription for anti-depressants.

As I've stated before, I believe that one should be able to grow an herb for personal use in one's garden. I would like to have a marijuana plant nestled in next to my oregano, basil, and chamomile. If I'm stressed, I'd like to be able to make myself a cup of tea to relax instead eating of a fat bowl of ice cream or popping a pill. Now, I realize there are other ways to de-stress, but I feel like it should be my choice whether of not to ingest a particular plant.

The war on drugs is a joke. And although this story is from Canada, the same sort of illogic applies here in this country as well. The govt could have made so much more money sanctioning this farm, taking taxes, and regulating the sale of the plants. No bears would have been harmed, no one would have gone to jail, and those patients who need to use rather than abuse could have had a safer alternative.

All that being said, I feel (as always) that I should post a disclaimer. I don't take this substance into my body. If I did, I'm sure this post would be funnier. Also because it's illegal. So my husband, who is blind, will continue to have problems with his vision, will continue to be in pain, and will continue to remain stressed simply because it is illegal in this state and most of this country to self-medicate with marijuana.

This post could be so much longer, but I'll spare you. I know that most you dear readers, don't advocate the use of this plant for many reasons.

But I bet you'll agree, the story would've been much better if it had been the arresting officers were eating dogfood and smoking pot rather than the bears...

2010-08-18T08:53:00.004-05:00

Eh, I don't feel like blogging right now. But it's been a few days, plus I usually try to blog on Wednesdays although I don't have any weird news for you today. So go create your own weird news instead.

We're gonnna go slightly stream-of-consciousness here if y'all are up for it.

You ever feel like you have a million projects going but you're never going to be able to finish any of them? Yeah, me too. It's a normal feeling that y'all understand, like the dishes/laundry/fixing the house/car maintenance blah blah blah ain't never gonna be done. Seriously, 3 loads a day of dishes and laundry each gets old real fast. But since being naked and hungry isn't really an option...OK, so the hungry thing isn't really an option...

Since I'm not at school all day every day anymore, I have more time. So I'm creating awesome space for the kids in their rooms. Bud wants a science-space room, Sass wants an underwater room, Pickles wants a "Dojo" room (he means Zen/meditation), and the Hamster wants a castle/dragon room. I know it sounds a little overwhelming, but if you didn't know yet, I'm an artist so it's not that difficult for me. I sound a little full of myself, but that's cause I am. I'm actually quite good. I hope that you all have a talent or skill that you are confident in because it's nice to be able to start something that you know will turn out well.

So here we are again. Now to finish those projects. My brain doesn't work that way. I work better when I have lots of things going on. Working on one thing at a time, from start to finish, is really hard for me. I used to fight it, but now I just roll with it. What gets me is when I'm out of balance with how many I have going compared to how many are close to completion. I suppose I should actually go work on some of them instead of blogging/whining about them, huh?
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One more thing before I go~

Sassafras as we drive through Illinois: Mom! They had Lincoln's head on that billboard.
me: That's disgusting!!!
Sass: Moooooommmmm, it was a PICTURE of his head.

I love warping them...

2010-08-12T09:55:00.003-05:00

REALLY?!?

more vacations?

I don't care if O is your boy, this is getting ridiculous. 2 more trips planned and one is to FL to encourage us 'Mericans to go to the beach. Hey guess what Obama? It ain't about the possibility of oil in the water that's keeping us away. It's the lack of money! Seriously, most of us that would go visit the beaches down there know what's going on with the water. We have friends to ask, or some way or another, of finding out if there really are little balls of oil floating around near the Gulf beaches. Probably the greasiest thing down there will be your politics. My mind won't be eased in the slightest by seeing you and your family cavorting and frolicking at the shore while I try to find some part time jobs while juggling the Hamster not being in preschool because I can't afford $600 for his preschool anymore.

So I say, screw you Mr. President. And watch out for oil-slicked jellyfish...

2010-08-10T11:26:00.003-05:00

Just ridiculous...

So, anyone else have a problem with Mrs. Prez spending about 400K on a vacay? I find it kind of appalling that the Obamas have continued to take vacation after vacation on the taxpayers' dime while we are STILL at war, while there is a massive oil mess in the Gulf, and while their fellow Americans are struggling financially. What kind of message does this send? I'm not looking for "well, Bush did..." comments either. I had my issues with him too. My concern is the current Commander in Chief and his family's actions.

and just to be fair, idiocy has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative

If you live in CO, GA, CT, or MN, GO VOTE TODAY!

2010-08-09T08:48:00.004-05:00

Science. And stuff.

When I was little, I wanted to go to the Bermuda Triangle. I also wanted to go to Disney World, so I guess I wasn't too weird. I was just curious. I've always been interested in conspiracy theories, alien life-forms, and strange science and the Triangle has always been such an attractive mystery to me. Well, scientists think they've figured it out. It's cool, but in a way, it's a little disappointing. I guess I'll have to ponder something else now, like where the Earth's magnetic field comes from, or what ball lightning is exactly.

So I guess it shouldn't surprise me that the Hamster wants to be a scientist. I think it's mostly influenced by Bud, who I'm currently designing a "science/space" room for. Don't worry, I'll put pics up when I'm done with it. The Hamster was falling asleep in my room last night so the rest of them could fall asleep peacefully without the tiny night owl laughing maniacally and jumping on their beds. I'm lying there with him and he's telling me all about wanting to be a scientist when he grows up. Why, I ask. Because scientists are good. They help people. They build robots. I wanted to know what he would do with his robot. It would do his chores he answered. Doesn't that sound like a benevolent and humanitarian reason? So the robot can put away the silverware. He continues to tell me about scientists. They spearmint. They walk around. They listen to their moms...

Good boy.

2010-08-04T08:58:00.003-05:00

Weird News Wednesday

This is one that we tried desperately to see. James and I got the kids pizza, let them eat it in the car, and drove almost 2 hours to WI to try to see the Northern Lights. After playing in the park in the dark for over an hour, we came back. Unfortunately, we should have gone to Michigan instead. Check out these photos! We did get to see about 6 shooting stars though. By the way, the next cool astronomical thing going on is the Perseid meteor shower on the 12-14.

Sometimes (when I remember), I dress the kids in the same bright color to take them to the park. Like red. Papal red.

Anyone up for some papal souveniers? Celebrate your enthusiasm for ~~your favorite sports team~~ the pope! Don't forget to stop by the Catholics with Attitude site as well.

I wonder if they have any papal onesies. Are you due to have a baby sometime soon? In that case, I know what you were up to during the blizzards last winter! Apparently, hospitals are getting ready for a baby boom. Because, you know, building snowmen is only fun for a little while, and then you gotta find something else to do...

Warning! This is not a snowman. This is a creepy creepy robot, who according to my friend, looks like a quadriplegic baby. I agree, but with zombie overtones. Yeesh! Maybe some papal-phenalia would help.

2010-08-02T12:23:00.002-05:00

A list of smells I find unpleasant yet oddly reassuring...

old lady
skunk
sauerkraut
bleach
asphalt
dirty kid
unwashed seashells brought back from the beach

Change is good, but dollars are better

So, I've decided not to finish the grad program I was enrolled in. 27-32 hours a trimester just wasn't healthy for me or the family. I'm going back to take business and art classes at a lil' community college around here. There were days when I would leave the house before the kiddos got up and not get home till they were in bed. How is that supposed to be a good thing?

So the business thing is to help James with his when he graduates in February. The art thing is because it's what I love to do and why waste your life doing something you don't enjoy?

And now I get to spend more time with the kids, which means more blog fodder, which means more funny for you. It's a win-win-win sitchee-ashon.

Everything's funnier outside, or, the Weekend Camping Trip

*the Hamster felt that toilet paper was unnecessary because we weren't using a "real" bathroom
*Bud found a branch to use as a marshmellow stick. Rather than strip the stick to make one good piercing end for use, he popped about 10 marshmellows on. The giant ones. Have you SEEN those?
*the Hamster still says smarshmellow. There is a threat of death to anyone that tells my last little one the proper pronuncuation.
*The kids are smarter than I am. After James accidentally ripped the tent and about 4 million mosquitos decided to join us, the kids all piled into the suburban to sleep. I toughed it out. So if you call me anytime soon, I won't answer because I'll be busy scratching.
*Fooling around with your husband in a tent filled with that many mosquitos is a BAD BAD idea.
*Don't start singing Bobby McGee at 2 in the morning just because you feel like. It wakes up the dog who is sad already about having to sleep outside rather than on the couch that he's not supposed to sleep on. Said dog will then cry and yelp for the next 20 minutes waking up others in the camping party. Even when you get up and make breakfast for everyone, they will still be mad at you for waking up the dog.

2010-07-31T19:27:00.002-05:00

Correspondences
Yo Anonymous,
I do NOT want your meds, I do NOT want to come visit your porn site, and I do NOT want you leaving comments on my blog anymore. See people, this is why I do comment moderation. Also, so when my relatives accidentally leave a comment with one of my kids' actual names in it...
NOT anonymously (quite out there in fact), ucmama

Dear the Hamster,
Sorry to follow up Anonymous's letter with one to you, but you were just as irritating tonight. Every night it's the same thing little dude. We don't play at the table. We don't kick our brothers under the table. And when Mom asks you to eat 1 slice of cucumber, JUST DO IT! I realize that being 4 in the middle of summer is difficult, but it's dinner. You should be used to it by now.
P.S. I don't mind if you want to play trains naked in your room by yourself, but should you want to wander downstairs to watch T.V., please at least put on some undies.
Love, Mom

Dear clerk at Walmart,
Please stop commenting on the items in my cart, or else you will force me to go buy duct tape, LOTS of rope, a ski mask, a map of our town, and 1 large steak knife. If you'd like to ask me about my purchases again, I will ask you for your address and mark it on the map. Don't mess with me just because I buy seaweed and santa claus melons.
Madly, the crazy lady who shops at midnight to avoid taking kids

Dear James,
I love that you love my behind. Really I do. But please stop grabbing it at church.
Thanks, your snoogie woogums

Dear readers,
sorry about the snoogie woogums. I promise you James never calls me that.
Regrettably, Michelle

Dear Mom,
I'm sorry if I just made you throw up a little in your mouth over the whole butt grabbing and snoogums incident above.
Sin-cerely, Shelle

Dear Pandora.com,
My used-to-be-friend made a "station" for Buble on my profile. While I realize that I may lose some cyber friends over this, I do NOT like Michael Buble. Therefore, please stop making your site less user-friendly than it needs to be. I just want to shuffle without Moondance playing between a Janis Joplin song and some rockabilly. Nothing personal and I agree that he has an amazing voice blah blah blah. Just ain't my style folks.
Ear-pluggedly, michellephant

Dear readers,
I apologize again for the above short letter. I promise never to sign ear-pluggedly again. It's just bad grammar. And things like bad grammar, such as ending a sentence with a preposition, is just something I can't put up with...

2010-07-22T13:27:00.003-05:00

just some pics, 'specially for y'all
cause it's summer, and just cause

Sassafras

Pickles

Bud has been wearing his roller skates since the last day of school

what the kids do for fun

a dinner picnic on the river

Bud's the only one who caught fish: 2 tiny catfish

fishin' boys

that's sidewalk rash on the Hamster's face

2010-05-21T10:12:00.003-05:00

Just a quick story. That's all I got time for...

James and I were trading riddles with the kids while running errands. James ran in someplace. I was kind of done with coming up with clever puns for the kids to figure out. So this was my riddle.

me: OK, it's a hamster. It lives in a cage, runs on a wheel, and is little and fluffy. What is it?
Bud: A guinea pig?

And a good time was had by all.

So James gets back into the truck. We're still laughing. I repeat the riddle to him.

James: A guinea pig!

At least Bud comes by it honestly...

2010-03-10T13:11:00.003-06:00

Just a quickie...

Weird News Wednesday

James likes to build card houses. Anytime he starts to think he's cool, I just remind him of things like that. It keeps him humble. But he's never done anything like this! This dude used 218,792 cards to build a mini casino. Quite a gamble, yeah? Wocka, wocka, wocka. (I like to keep myself humble too by typing bad jokes)

Want to see some cool pics of an eclipse? I thought you did.

An all-black penguin?

And a granny who has horns.

That's all I have time for right now. It's the second day of my grad program and I have to get back to class, but I haven't forgotten you faithful readers, and by readers, I mean probably only my parents anymore. Sorry bout not postin' n' all, but life is purty dang hectic raht nah. (That's GA speak, try saying it out loud)

I need to do another poly post - it's been a long time and I'd love to talk about Massa and all his crazy naked shower shenanigans. Anyone interested?

K, bye now.

2010-02-22T13:00:00.000-06:00

Last week...

I had to tell Sassafras not to use the bunny as a weapon.

I made beef jerky. Teriyaki and Peppered, in case you were wondering. In the dehydrator, in case you were wondering that too.

I grew alfalfa sprouts in a mason jar. I've been doing it for years. They're delicious. And nutritious. And expeditious.

I finished up all my classes, except one. I have that test today.

I called Eve. Finally...

I read 4 books, just for fun. Not especially productive during finals week, but necessary for samity nontheless.

James and I wrote love notes to each other for Valentines Day. We're not big on giving each other gifts for holidays, so it was free and quite sweet. Awwwwww....

I'll just hold on a sec as you clean the puke from the sweetness off your keyboard...

Done?

Good. Moving on.

Anyway, my plan for this week is to clean my house really well, spend time with the kids, and get my act pulled together to start my grad program at school. And maybe blog a little more often.

So, I should probably go do that now.

2010-02-14T16:27:00.005-06:00

A few shots of my kids, in no particular order. If you're a crazy stalker, please don't steal them. Unless I'm related to you. In which case, carry on.

Mom, I KNOW that my chair cushion is turned the wrong way. Disregard the zipper and just enjoy the awesomeness of your babies in their jammies at 3PM. Also, be glad I didn't put up the pic of Rowlf licking Pickles' face.

posing Pickles

candid Pickles

She couldn't even smile for ONE!

A shot showing Sassafras's personality. "Why are you taking pictures of me again?

BunBun

Bud, looking like his dad. Mom, check out the chin dimples, a la Shannon!

the Hamster and Rowlf

A boy and his dog

2010-02-13T08:17:00.003-06:00

Things I'm planning to do this weekend, not in any particular order

visit a sick friend
take the kids sledding
wash my stinky stinky boots
study Organic Chemistry
finish 2 research papers
clean my house
call Eve and Rebeccah
find James' camera

We'll see how far I get on this list...

*editor's note. All I finished was cleaning the house. Ah well. There's always the rest of my life to finish stuff right?

2010-02-12T09:31:00.003-06:00

Anybody else ever feel the need to see, smell, be near, be in... big water?
A river, a lake, an ocean?

yeah, me too.

I'm sort of landlocked out here in the Midwest. Luckily there's quite a large river running through town. It's dirty. Like too dirty to eat anything out of it.

But it's there.

Rushing and powerful at its heart. Slow moving eddies at the periphery. Winding and swirling. Dark shadows and a bottomless belly. A belly that holds rusty refrigerators, a car or two, giant man-eating catfish, maybe a body or twenty.

It's not ideal water for me, but I do need to drive miles along its length at times. Surrounded by snow all winter has me feeling a feverish for something other than white and gray. I'm ready for Spring. I want to smell green things. At the grocery store, I push my cart through the flower section. I walk past my baby chives on the window sill at home and inhale deeply. I touch the leaves of the pea plant that Pickles tucked into the soil a month ago.

I need to go camping. I need to go hiking. I need. I need. I need.

Why is water so cleansing? I believe Heavenly Father made our need for water part of the great plan. We can immerse ourselves in this life-giving force and feel the weight, quite literally, removed from our shoulders. We begin our existence in water. We are born in a flood of fluid.

My sign is Cancer. Is that a sign? Ah, astrology, I'll save you for another post.

For now, I'm gonna go take a bath...

2010-02-10T10:30:00.001-06:00

I'm feeling better. It helps that my children are quirky. Meet the Hamster, if you haven't already. He's 4.

the Hamster, very close to my face while I'm zipping his coat: Mom! I eated aNOTHER cookie.
me: How many were you told you could have?
the Hamster: one, but I really couldn't helped it

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the Hamster: I'm feeling feev-il.
me, wondering if it was a combo of evil and say, furry?: What are you saying?
the Hamster: feevil, you know tired. And a lil' sick
me: You feel feeble? You realize you're only 4, right?
the Hamster: Yeah, I'm feevil of only being 4.

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the Hamster also says nesterday instead of yesterday. Since he's my last baby, I have an internal struggle over whether to correct it, or to let it ride and enjoy the sweetness. I could use the sweetness...

2010-02-02T07:59:00.003-06:00

warning: gritty post

I'm sure some of you noticed that I didn't go to church for the last several months. I'm sure you've wondered why. But only a handful of people actually asked me how I was doing or what I've been up to. I've been dealing with family issues from every side. My family, my extended family, James' extended family...

I'm cynical right now.

So, as immature as it may have been, I deleted a lot of people from my facebook profile. I narrowed it down to family and close friends. That means that most of the people from church are no longer "connected" to me on facebook. If I un-friended you, deal with it.

I am in more pain right now than I have been in a long time. I'm working on it. I know I will get through it. If you've been supportive of me and my family, I thank you. I truly appreciate it because I know how hard it is to keep a family together AND extend yourself to others at the same time. It's exhausting.

I don't fault anyone for not going out of their way to call or stop by. If you have, then I thank you. If you didn't, I understand that everyone has their own priorities. It's OK. But if I don't reach out right now, don't take it personally. I'm fairly private about what I'm feeling.

What I need is prayers. If you call and I don't answer, it's because I'm conserving my energy. I realize this post is heavy and possibly full of contradictions but it's hard to organize my thoughts.

I don't know what I want to come from letting all of you know a small part of what's going on, but I needed to get it out.

2010-01-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

Weird News Wednesday

I know y'all have been craving one o' these. Here ya go.

Even though most of our country only eats a few different types of fruit and veg, (think apples, bananas, oranges, corn, peas, etc) there are actually people out there with enough time to create new veggies. Now, I'm all for new blends. The world wouldn't be the same without the broccoflower, right?. But seriously, why? WHY? would you think there's a huge consumer niche just waiting for you to cross kale and brussel sprouts?

just gross...

I'm so glad scientists have time and grant money on their hands. Austria has decided to scrap their latest endeavor, however. I don't really understand why they thought burying pigs in avalanches WASN'T a good idea. What's up with that?

Of course, you don't have to have tons of money or the government behind you to have an innovative/psychotic idea though. Anyone with a lot of time on their hands, like say 10-20 yrs, can come up with something new. Like tattooing the whites of your eyes, for example.

What? You don't think that's a good idea? Yeah, me neither. But if you want people to pull their children away from you quickly as you walk past, or look unique, whatever, there are some sweet new contact lenses out there. I think the teeth one is my favorite.

Go, look, read, marvel.

2010-01-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

The feeder mice chapter has ended. Much more humanely than you may have imagined. Although, if you WERE imagining a gruesome death for 2 poor, defenseless, charitable, well-educated rodents, I don't want to know.

I did post them on craigslist. My posting was flagged. Some bleeding heart apparently didn't like it that some people have snakes for pets and gasp! actually feed them. But before it was flagged, I got a bite. I also had someone interested in the mice...

Anyway, a chick with pink hair and piercings (yes, I was thrilled!) came and got them. We were both happy with our own end of the deal and the book has been closed on the mice saga.

Pink Hair did leave me her number though, so if I call her to buy baby mice, you'll be the first to know.

In other pet news, just in case you're still reading this post, my dog is psycho. Apparently the rabbit is too. What's with my pets being psychotic? Wait! Don't answer that...

So the dog chases shadows. I researched it and found that he's just being neurotic. He spends too much time alone or something. We took him to a doggie therapist and she diagnosed him with OCD. He's constantly washing his hands in the toilet and checking to make the sure his crate is locked.

Starting with we took him to... lies, all lies...

So, I can't think of a way to segue into anything else interesting, so bye now!

2010-01-12T09:26:00.003-06:00

Hey y'all.

I've lost 40 pounds now. My pants are getting loose again. Hopefully I can drop another size soon.

How Michelle? Well, I'll tell ya.

1. I stopped drinking cokes in July. I'm southern. Wha-huh? Oh stop. You knew that already. When you're raised southern, Coca Cola is an essential part of your life. It's mixed with your baby rice cereal. And if you're truly southern, there are times when the milk is gone, but the coke isn't. So you try it on your Lucky Charms. I'm not saying it's GOOD, I'm just sayin'.

P.S. My mother did NOT EVER put coke in my baby cereal. She would want you to know that.

2. I substituted coffee for cokes. While I don't recommend this, I grew up being around and drinking coffee and it works for me for now. I will wean myself off eventually, but for now it works. I sweeten it with vanilla soy milk.

3. I stopped eating desserts. You are what you eat and I was tired of being a cookie. Or a donut. I don't mind being sweet and jelly filled, however, I do not want to look like it.

4. I take more walks/runs. It's harder when it's cold and snowy, but I do it anyway. Just layer up. It also feels amazing to be able to take those layers off when you get home. It's sort of like being able to peel off layers of body weight if you visual it just right. If you don't, then it just ends up feeling like some creepy B-movie removing your skin kind of thing. So do it right.

5. I eat smaller portions. This was difficult at first. But actually, I just realized that if I wanted to stop being twice normal size, I should eat half as much. So I would make a "normal" plate for myself and then put half of it back. Now my normal actually is normal. I also trade a little more veggies and a little less unhealthy choices.

6. I take herbs. I've always been interested in holistic choices. I use cayenne and ginger to kick start my metabolism in the morning. I take DHA, or omega 3, pills. Not all the time, just when I feel like it.

I've changed. I feel better. I look better. I have more energy. I don't feel like I need a nap all the time. I don't go to food as a stress release. I meditate instead. Just a few minutes at a time. Or I go do something else to make myself feel prettier. I go fix my hair, or put on some glittery lipgloss. It sounds simple, but it's really a psychological and philosophical change. It's good. Life is good.

2010-01-01T22:25:00.002-06:00

2010 should be good.

It started with the kids trying to make breakfast in bed for us, however, when your oldest child is ten, and you smell the stove, you get up quickly. So James and I enjoyed our eggs, hashbrowns, and homemade (by me, buttered by Bud) bread in the kitchen. The house is clean. The laundry is all done. James and I are content with the simplicity of the season.

We had our traditional southern New Years meal. Black-eyed peas, greens, and cornbread. I added roast chicken.

Do you know why we eat such a spare meal (for southerners anyway) on this day? It's not because we're trying to lose the 10 pounds we put on from Thanksgiving to Christmas. No, no. It's because when the Union soldiers took the South, they pillaged whatever there was to eat. What? The War Between the States (don't call it the Civil War, honey, cause war shore ain't civil) is alive and well in the South.

Anyway...
Those left behind had nothing to eat but what the soldiers didn't want. Namely, the greens in the garden and fatback. Now, if you're southern, you know you can make an entire meal out of those two ingredients. So we eat a scant meal to remember the plight of our forefathers. We also eat the peas and greens for luck and wealth. Even when you're eating for the sake of a superstition, it should still taste goooooood!

I'm not making any resolutions. The way to live happily and healthily is already laid out in the scriptures. I plan on making myself a better person this year. One day at a time.

2009-12-29T11:09:00.004-06:00

Kids

Sassafras playing Guitar Hero (w/ a bad drawl, seriously, this kid can NOT do a Southern accent to save her life. Yes, she was born in GA and spent her 1st 6 yrs. there): "Heck yay-yeah! Ahm playin' Ted Nugget!"
She meant Ted Nugent

Bud (age 6), encouraging the Hamster (age 4): "C'mon buddy, I'm right here with you. I'm right beside you. I'll take care of any monsters that try to hurt you."
This is actually quite out of character for Bud. Usually he's the monster.

Pickles: "What is grog, exactly? And why would Santa bring me grog flavored mints?"

the Hamster, NOT playing Guitar Hero: "I rock Sass. I always rock when I don't play. And I'm a way-wolf."
random? yes.

2009-12-28T08:00:00.000-06:00

Pancake and Syrup are still alive. What?
I got another mouse to see if our snake Medusa preferred females over males. WHAT?
Why are you laughing? Some snakes can "smell" the difference.
So now we have 2 mice and a ball python. In the same tank.

I put them on craigslist. 2 free mice. I'd link to it, but you know, I don't want you to know where I live unless you already do. You understand. And don't think I'll send you my address with the promise that you'll come get them. Or that you'll send me a New Years card. Or that I might like some flowers. OK, I might send you my address for flowers.

Anyhoo, someone did respond and ask if I would deliver them 20 minutes away since they didn't know this side of the river that well. I ~~sarcastically~~ helpfully suggested they google directions and that I wasn't about to deliver 2 free mice. I haven't heard back from them yet. I don't know what THEIR problem is.

So the feeder mice saga continues. And that's what passes for up-to-the-minute news at our house during a Christmas time blizzard trapped with 4 sugared up kids and a husband with cabin fever. Oh, did I mention that we are also watching a friend's boxer for a week? I didn't? That's because I'm trying to stay sane and telling everyone that this is the 4th dog-sitting gig I've done since Dec. 19th would make me sound less than sane.

Like this blog post may possibly be doing.

Carry on...

2009-12-27T14:45:00.002-06:00

Random...

the Hamster uses the excuse that his bum hurts whenever he doesn't want to do something.

Go clean your room Hamster. "I can't, my bottom hurts."
Go play outside Hamster. "My buns are tired, I don't want to."
Come eat Hamster. "I had a cookie. I don't like what we're having. That looks yucky. And my butt hurts."

You get the idea.

I'm not sure where this came from, and I'm sure a psychologist could write a killer piece for a journal about it, but there it is. I don't think it would work for me though.

I can't pay the electric bill because I have sore buns.

Yep, it's much cuter coming from a 4 year-old.

2009-12-26T17:53:00.004-06:00

Warning to my mom - don't read this at work

I was watching the Nutcracker at the Fox in ATL one year ago today. I was having a fabulous time with my daughter, my sisters, and my mom. We had seats front and center. The Russian stacking dolls were amazing, and the little girls playing the dolls were adorable. The rats did a funkadelic dance and had a bigger part than in previous years. I love how they change the choreography each year while remaining true to the story. Did you know that the Nutcracker has been performed every Christmas season for over 100 years?

It was a night memories are made and it was magical. At intermission, my mom got a phone call from my aunt. My grandfather, who had been doing poorly for several months, had passed away. The rest of the performance was difficult to sit through. He was in Florida and there was nothing we could do but sit and finish. I don't remember much. I was busy holding my sister's hand and trying not to cry at one of the best venues in Atlanta watching a classic ballet.

My grandfather, Harold, a.k.a. the Silverback, Hank, GrandDad, or Geraldo, lived an incredible life. I won't try to cover the whole of it here, but suffice it to say, he definitely made his mark on the world. He was involved in the beginning of the Arby's corporation, he founded a festival in one town he lived in, he raised 5 kids, was a mentor to 10 grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren. GrandDad had 2 loves: my grandmother and my GrandNorma. He had an exquisite sense of humor. With superb timing, a photographic memory, and a wit that I dare say was unmatched, he could turn a phrase in an instant and leave us rolling on the floor.

GrandDad, we love you and miss you terribly. And I would give anything to be able to get you the daily paper, and to make you a cup of some of that world-famous ice tea.

2009-12-24T14:51:00.004-06:00

Merry Christmas to all!

Things I still need to do:
open family presents tonight (it's a tradition)
make cinnamon candy
make toffee
finish (after)Christmas cards
wrap presents
clean my house!
finish new quilts for the kids
write a long, sincere letter to a very special lady
study, study, study...

Things I've done (even though it feels like I've got NOTHING done):
Fallen on the ice - TWICE (another post for another day)
Christmas shopping
unpacked and organized the attic
worked on 3 paintings
made fudge
an important presentation
spent an amazing weekend with my sister, as well as one of my favorite people, E
read lots of books and made lots of cookies with my kids
pondered my testimony and realized that while it always can use more work, that it is strong and that I know my Heavenly Father loves me

What are things you've done or need to do?

2009-12-14T11:17:00.004-06:00

I hope y'all have been well. It's been a lottle crazy round here.We went to GA for Thanksgiving and came back. We got to see pretty much everyone and a good time was had by all. I got to do a little bit of art with Eve. We climbed Stone Mountain (a first for the boys) and went to Waffle House. You know, to complete the GA experience.

I also went crazy. I don't think I'm back from that yet.

But I knew you missed my blogging and I thought I would share a few things that made my week more interesting.

********************************

Conversations with Pickles

Jax (a buddy): Pickles has a secret. He said he's looking at naked ladies on the computer.
me: WHAT???? PICKLES! GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!
(imagine the sound of an alephant on roller skates coming down the stairs)
me: Pickles, why did Jax say you were looking at naked ladies on the computer?
Pickles: Oh, I just told him that so he'd go away. We were really looking at giant millipedes.
me: next time Honey try to be a little less creative and shocking when trying to get someone to go away, ok?

*note: Pickles is an incredibly honest kid. He does not look at naked women online. Apparently, however, we need to work on other issues.

*********************************
Pickles: I can't go to sleep
me: why not?
Pickles: Because my radio won't work and I always go to sleep listening to my stories.
me: Tell a story to yourself. Out loud.
Pickles: I said everyone else is asleep and they won't think my stories are interesting anyway.
me: I said say them to YOURSELF
Pickles: Well, I don't find them that interesting either.

*********************************
We have a snake. She's a ball python named Medusa. She's a good snake and the kids think she's interesting. Medusa eats mice. It's the circle of life, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, mice really aren't that cute, Mickey excluded of course. It was time for Medusa to eat again 4 days ago so I bought a mouse. I put the mouse in the cage with the snake. The mouse did not get eaten. The mouse did however, get named Pancake. So Pancake and Medusa are roommates. At least until Medusa is done shedding and decides that she actually is hungry. I'll keep you updated.

*********************************
Everything here is white. Our house is 109 yrs old, as are many of the surrounding houses. Most of them are painted very pale colors. Pale houses and their yards are covered in snow here. The clouds are heavy and full of snowman seeds. Everything is bright and fairly monochromatic. And it reflects all light. Last night, at midnight, it looked like it was dusk.

I forget about that here. 27 years of being raised in GA is still ingrained in me. Winter should be 60-70 degrees. Scarves should be bought based on their cuteness, not their heat conserving abilities. The sky should bright blue and the trees should stay green. Pansies should bloom.

Not in the Midwest. But I'm OK with that this winter. I'm not sure why; maybe I'm beginning to bloom (like a pansy - insert your own joke here) where I'm planted. Maybe it's wearing me down. Let's go with the blooming, shall we?

2009-11-08T10:27:00.001-06:00

I'm taking a break for awhile.

-Michelle

2009-11-06T08:00:00.003-06:00

Our president, finally mentions the shooting at Fort Hood almost TWO MINUTES into this address! He sounds disjointed, uninterested, and insincere...

Outrageous, saddening, inappropriate "shout-outs" - these are all just a few things that come to my mind when I watch this video.

What do you think about how Obama reacted to this tragedy?

2009-11-05T12:21:00.007-06:00

For my amazing and talented aunt,

and

because I LOVE these soaps! They are truly wonderful.

Loaves of soap

15" long
2-2.5" across because they are tapered like so \_/
2" high

The loaves may be bought whole or sliced into 15 good-sized slices. You can gift them to people (teachers, co-workers, stocking stuffers, etc.) or sell them yourself!

The loaves are $35/ plus shipping. 5 loaves shipped priority costs $13 for shipping and is the most cost-efficient way to get them to you. Half-loaves may be purchased as well for $20/ plus shipping.

Ready for purchase (also available by the slice $3.50)
Raspberry and Violet
Winter Morning Walk (think Pennsylvania mountains)
Lavender
Oatmeal, Milk, and Honey (hard not to eat!)
Mango

Other scents available to be ordered (in 1/2 loaves or more)
Daisy
Ocean Mist
Happy!
Rosemary
Almond
Clove
Strawberry
Vanilla
Plumeria
Mango/Papaya
Pink Grapefruit
Cinnamon
Green Tea
Citrus Medley
Secret Crush
Peppermint
Ginger Ale
"Angel"
Violet
Gardenia
Orange
Juicy Lime
Lemon
Rosie Posie
"Tide"
"Curious"
Sunflower
Stress Relief
Red Current and Thyme (one of my favorites)
Citrus Spice
"Escape" for men
Christmas Spice
Cherry Almond
Dandelion
Pearberry
Spearmint
Daffodil
Holiday Berry
Pikaki
Honeysuckle
White Ginger
Hyacinth
Lily of the Valley
Mistletoe

Please email any questions or special requests (regarding the soaps only. I mean, my aunt can't just fill any special requests ;P ) to wlpagani@aol.com or to me and I can forward them along.

And to any readers that live where I live, if y'all want to combine an order, and thus shipping, let me know!

2009-11-03T11:56:00.002-06:00

Recent conversations with the kiddos

the Hamster (while he rubs his little hand on my arm): Mom, do you hab any money?
me (putting down my book and looking at him): Why do YOU need money?
the Hamster: For a cookie. If you hab some money, then you can buy me a cookie.
me: get a job, buddy

******************************

Pickles: What's up with the dogs? Lately, Moki has been acting like Rowlf and Rowlf has been acting like Moki.
me: Well, while you were at school, they ran at each other really hard and smashed heads. When they got up, they had switched personalities.
Pickles: MOOOOOMMMM!

******************************

Bud: I kicked and punched and pushed Jackson (his friend) and then he hit me for NO REASON!

******************************

Sassafras: If there's something softer than the Hamster's belly, I'd like to know what it is

******************************

the Hamster: Mom, I'm hun-gwee
me: What do you want?
the Hamster: I want a meat on meat san-wuch
me: James, the Hamster's hungry. This one's all yours :)
James: Here's your meat on meat. (he gave him 3 pcs of meat which the H promptly put together like a sandwich)
the Hamster: I want ketchup on my meat on meat
James: no, we only eat plain meat on meat in this house you little weirdo.

2009-10-29T18:50:00.002-05:00

Here we go

BBQ ribs that will make you wanna slap your mama (but you won't cause we don't slap our mamas)

I have an ingredient list, but I don't have a specific recipe. Just make sure you make it good.

About 3 hours before you want to eat, start your sauce.
About 2 hours before this, call some friends you haven't seen for awhile and invite them over.

the sauce
tomato paste
water
apple juice (more juice than water)
apple cider vinegar (not too much, but you want the sauce to have a little bite)
brown sugar (between 1/2 C and a C)
mustard powder (lots of good shakes, or just use a little mustard)
a few drops of liquid smoke
a few drops of sesame seed oil
a few shakes of Worcestershire and soy sauces
about 1/2 C veggie oil
add some heat, I like cayenne and/or Tabasco
garlic and onion powder (but not too much, cause you want it to be a tangy sweetish sauce)
a bay leaf (you take this out at the end before you pour it over the ribs)

the rub
lots of salt and paprika (you want it almost pink looking)
black pepper
garlic and onion powder (less than the salt, more than the pepper)
thyme (less than the garlic powder)
celery seed (about the same as the thyme)

Rub the ribs let 'em sit for awhile. I like country style beef ribs, but you can use this same recipe for a rack on the grill.

Do the dishes and dance around the kitchen while listening to the Allman Brothers.

Make sure your cast iron skillet is clean of cornbread crumbs from the last time you made some of that and pour just enough oil in to coat the bottom so the ribs don't stick.

Sear those meaty guys and throw them in a roasting pan.

Occasionally yell at the kids who won't stay out of the kitchen.

When you finish all the ribs, let 'em sit in the roasting pan for about 10 minutes to let the flavors get all happy together.

Then pour the sauce over the ribs and bake them for 15 minutes at 425. Turn the heat down and bake for an hour more.

Make some homemade rolls, or go get some nice soft ones from Hyvee (Kroger for y'all in the South).

Do some delicious sides like potato salad and greenbean casserole.

Make sure you have some apple crisp for dessert and apple cider going on the counter in a crockpot (for extra good cider, slice up some ginger root and slice the rind of an orange and toss them both in)

Enjoy!

2009-10-25T16:59:00.003-05:00

When Jesus went to minister to the Irish

We went to Pickles' good friend, Chan's baptism yesterday. It was beautiful. There were sweet talks by the Grandma and the boys' previous Primary teacher. The littlest brother and I said a prayer. After the baptism, as Chan and his dad were changing clothes and drying off, we watched a video about Jesus. In the video you see Jesus acting out scenes from the New Testament. He gathers his flock, he blesses children, he heals people wearing rags. At one point, Pickles leans over and asks, "Are those the leprechauns he's helping?"

No baby, no. They're lepers.

Have you ever had to explain the difference between leprechauns and lepers?

2009-10-20T22:01:00.002-05:00

Sup witchoo?

1. I'm sorry baby, I know I haven't been pulling my own weight lately. I've been selfishly taking comments without giving any to you. I'll be better, I promise. I have been reading all your blog posts though, and they're wonderful.

2. OK, go here for truly useless inventions. I especially like the fake breasts and the baby cage. Oh, and I can't decide whether I like the mechanical cat or the kitty footy dusters better.

3. I did well in some of my classes. And not so great in others. This school session was terrible, and that's all that needs to be said about that.

4. I'm reading Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own. It's beautiful. When I'm done, I'm going to read it all over again. I never do that with books. I can't even listen to a CD twice in a row.

5. I've been painting lately. I meditate when I paint. It's my therapy. What's your therapy?

6. I got the Hamster out of the car tonight. He said "Thanks, buttocks!" So I popped his. I was shocked. He told me he didn't like spanks, so I told him I didn't like little boys who said rude things to their mommies.

7. Carrot, no, I'm not mean. Although my sisters may disagree.

2009-10-14T10:49:00.003-05:00

just a quickie

Weird News Wednesday

you know those slashes in web addresses? look up above if you don't know what I'm talking about. Well, they weren't meant to be there. They're useless, apparently.

It may be just a time-traveling conspiracy, but some scientists think that some inventions, specifically the Hadron Collider, may be sabotaged by other scientists from the future. What? It could happen!

And now for something completely different. Very, very weird landscapes.

That's all folks!

2009-10-13T11:44:00.002-05:00

I woke up Monday morning at 5Am to a tiny voice frantically telling me they had a nose bleed. My kids don't get nose bleeds. I activated the ejection button on my side of the bed at lightning speed so as not to wake the angry monster (with two finals to take that day) I was sleeping next to. I had already had my beauty sleep interrupted once that evening by wet jammie bottoms and a crying the Hamster, so I wasn't looking too pretty.

But bleeding 6-yr olds don't care how you look so I stumbled into the bathroom that was fast becoming a crime scene. Man! I was glad we had moved into a house with no carpet. Bud was crying, and I was trying desperately trying to remember what you do for a nosebleed and trying not to step on the blood.

Stuff the nostrils with something absorbent? Irrigate his face? My extensive medical training (yeah, right!) had escaped me, and my ability to think straight was directly proportional to my lack of sleep.

"Bud, it's OK. Sometimes noses just bleed. Did you bump your face on your brother's head? Did you fall out of bed onto your face? Did you put something in your nose? It's ok to lose a little blood."

MOM! This is NOT a little bit of blood. This is a lot. It's everywhere!"

"Dude, if you cut your arm off, THAT would be a lot of blood. See? It's not that bad, is it?"

"Oh, ok."

Oh yeah, tilt the head back! I got it. Sit the bloody boy on the potty and tilt his head back and pinch the bridge of his nose. I found out the next day that you tilt the head forward and pinch so blood doesn't go down the back of the throat. Anyway, we got it cleaned up and Bud was bathed and put back to bed until I realized that it was 6AM and my little day-flamingos (the opposite of night-owls around here) were bright and shiny and ready for the day to start.

The angry monster was even angrier at that point. Being woken up the alarm is bad enough, but being woken up by crying children 30 minutes before the alarm is even worse. But I ~~yelled~~ patiently explained that cleaning up bums and blood in the middle of the night isn't fun either. And that I had finals as well. And final projects due. And a landlord who hasn't given us back our deposit from 2 months ago yet who I'm going to have to take to small claims court.

But that's another post for another day...

2009-10-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

Bragging rights and long nights

Sassafras reads 174 words a minute. She's also in the gifted program. The kid is also in 90% for her height, which is pretty cool since I'm only 5'4".

Pickles reads 229. He's not in the gifted program because he decided he didn't like all the extra work.

Bud reads at at an end-of-second grade level. He's the baby of his first grade class with his August birthday. He finishes his work before everyone else and then causes trouble. Sound familiar, Mom?

He has also stayed on "green" for the last three weeks straight. If you have ever met the little guy, you realize that this is quite out of character for him. Also, we're bribing him.

the Hamster writes his name, but thinks his middle name is first name spelled backwards. He can sing the alphabet backwards, and this may be entirely my fault.

I'm thinking the Hamster may be ambidextrous like I am. I actually prayed to have a kid who could write with both hands or be left-handed. Frivolous, I know, but I like them to be a little different. He also has dimples, which I prayed for as well.

Sass made higher than 95% on portions of her ITBS and was invited to take the BESTS test. Anyone know anything about that? I can't decide if it's actually worth doing or not.

James started working in the clinic this school session and has completed the patient requirements while taking care of the kids each evening while I'm in class (every dang night), after his own full 30 credit hour class load for the day. Next session, he needs to see at least 25 patients. He also makes sure to bathe and feed the kids each night AND takes care of all the laundry and dishes. And he's blind. He's a pretty cool guy, if I do say so myself.

I'm nearly finished with a painting that I really like. I'm also incredibly glad that this school session is nearly over, because it is killing me slowly. Which is why I haven't blogged much. I've been working on not drowning and there hasn't been much left over for anything else. So if you're wondering why I haven't been to church functions, a meeting, called you, sent a letter, sent an email, stopped by, sent a carrier pigeon, telepathic message, or smoke signal, put my kids in sports, scouts, or music lessons, or anything else, that's why.

It's not you, it's me.

It is good to know though, that James can pick up my slack and the kids can actually thrive without me being on top of everything.

Hopefully soon, I can blog about some political things, about my amazing visit from 13 people I love dearly, as well as separate visits from James' dad and my mom (all the love!), and how I blinked and missed our Midwestern Fall. After these messages, we'll be riiiiiiiight back!

2009-09-20T00:05:00.003-05:00

Tips for living with a blind man

1. For goodness sake, keep the fridge/closet/toolbox organized unless you want to get up to help him find everything he's looking for. Still, you will have to call out which shelf/side of cabinet/location of said item is anyway.

2. He does not think it's funny when you hide weird stuffed animals in his underwear drawer.

3. Just go ahead and match up church/office outfits for him, including pants, a shirt, a tie, belt, and shoes. It will save you both time. Come to think of it, it may save you time even if your husband is not legally blind.

4. Realize that your children will learn very early that they can sneak treats, as long as the wrappers don't rustle, right in front of Daddy.

5. Get used to driving. Everywhere.

6. Get used to being the one who always cuts the fingernails, gives the haircuts, and removes the splinters.

7. Learn to read medical/anatomical textbooks for hour-long periods. That one may be a little specific.

8. Get with the Dept. for the Blind. They will most likely pay your husband's school tuition. (Sweet!)

9. Be confident with your looks, 'cause it's not very validating to hear a blind dude tell you you're hot.

10. Don't believe him when he says he can't do something because he's blind. Unless you've tried it with your eyes closed and you can't do it. Except for driving. Please don't try that.

11. With reference to the previous listing, just don't be upset when a red sock accidentally decides to party in a white load of laundry. He honestly didn't see it jump in.

12. Do not leave turpentine sitting on the floor in a mason jar if you also drink out of mason jars. He may think it's water. He may take a big mouthful of it. You may have to clean up paint thinner off the floor.

13. Invest in window cling stickers. Or just don't clean the glass doors. Or both. Guess why.

14. Perhaps recommend a walking-around-helmet.

15. INSIST on a helmet for when he rides his bike. Oh yes he does.

16. Do not EVER buy the small Legos. Unless you want your children to increase their vocabularies quickly in a bad way.

17. If he says he's feeling your butt to identify who you are, don't believe him.

18. Encourage others to introduce themselves over and over and over. Voices really aren't that easy to recognize and when you walk away, he will just ask who the heck that person was.

19. Remind him that even though he can't see very well, other people can. Tell him to stop "adjusting" himself in public.

20. Love him, because he needs it!

2009-09-17T16:30:00.000-05:00

Things that make my life more interesting...

the Hamster, "reading" his fortune at the Chinese restaurant: "You will go to a pawty with M&M's and ice cweam!"

*******************

Warning: this is disgusting.
Sassafras was told to get a gallon ziplock full of dogfood to take camping with us. (It was for the dogs, we aren't that primitive). She came back and asked how she was supposed to get it. Wha? Come on, Sass, use the cup in the dogfood bag for crying out loud. James goes to check on her after about 15 minutes. I walk into the kitchen a minute behind him. What is in that bag?!? It does NOT look like foo- IT'S POOP! I saw it before I could stop myself and spun into the bathroom. Thankfully, I had only eaten yogurt and yogurt rejoining the land of the living is still pretty much yogurt. Sassafras, obedient little girl that she is (yeah, right) thought her daddy had asked her to fill a bag full of dog poop. WHY, Sass, WHY? I don't know she said, I thought it was kind of weird...

*******************

As I was walking to school the other day, a guy in a Navigator drove by and I smelled his cologne. How much cologne do you have to be wearing for pedestrians to smell it?

*******************

The checkout lady at Sam's filled me on her daughter's broken arm, her mother's car problems, and how crappy this winter will be here in IA all in under 5 minutes. I thought I was in GA.

*******************

When we did go camping, without the bag of poop, Pickles told me it was the best camping trip ever. He tells me that about everything. Every birthday party is the best ever. Every trip, every Christmas, every visit from a relative, is the best ever. It's quite uplifting to live with such an enthusiastic kid.

*******************

Speaking of relatives visiting, we had my mom come visit (Yay!) 2 weekends ago, and then James' dad came to visit last weekend. Now, we are (hopefully) going to see Granny, Aunt Beccah, and the cousins in just a few weeks. All this love coming to visit us is awesome!

*******************

I gotta go to class, I'll post again soon. I'm sure you are all wondering about the Obama school speech thang...

2009-09-11T10:59:00.003-05:00

I haven't forgotten

8 years ago today

It's a beautiful day. I have an almost 2-yr old and a 3-month old. I work at my sister-in-law's laundromat a little, babysit a little, sell a little artwork, and deliver pizzas on Friday and Saturday nights. James and I had just bought our first house 6 months before. James is at work. Life is good. I worry about the kids getting baths, getting enough sleep, about going to the farmers' market later today. I'm checking my email and the news sites that I read while periodically nursing Pickles and letting Sassafras watch a movie.

Boortz
"Folks, I don't know if this is some kind of horrible accident, but it looks as though a plane has flown into one of the World Trade Center towers."

What? I think I've heard of the Twin Towers before. No reason to think a whole lot about it. But I'd like to get another perspective so I head over to Drudge to check it out.

"It looks as though America is the victim of a terrorist attack."

I turn off Sass's movie and turn on the news. I start to feel sick as I watch another plane hit the second tower. Did that really just happen? I truly have never seen anything like that in my life.

I turn on the radio as well. I try to call James. He was in the middle of a massage.

I tried to call my mom, my sister, my dad. I try desperately to reach my family as I watch fellow Americans dying on live T.V. I'm not physically anywhere near the actual destruction but I can almost feel the heat from the fires, almost smell the smoke, almost hear the screams. I cling to my baby, and kiss his soft fat milk-sticky cheeks over and over. He laughs while I weep. Sass asks why I cry. I call a friend who lives a few miles from Ground Zero. Somehow I get through when her parents cannot. She's OK, but shaken to the core.

James calls me back. He had walked past a T.V. reporting the destruction, but had no idea of the utter devastation. He couldn't leave work and I couldn't think of a good reason to have him come home. Tell the boss your wife needs a hug that lasts the rest of her life, James, I'm sure he'll understand.

All I can think of is everyone in the buildings praying, crying, calling, wishing, hoping...dying.

Now

I still cry when I think of this day. This day that has lasted 8 years and will continue for as long as soldiers are still fighting, as long as families who lost loved ones are still missing a piece of their hearts, as long as the rest of us remember.

I can't say what the proper course of action could have or should have been. I didn't set out to make this a political post.

I just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten.

2009-09-04T09:45:00.003-05:00

Untitled: a near-novel

Sassafras ran away the other night. For a terrifying 20 min or so, we didn't know where our beautiful almost 10-year old little girl was. I was gone picking up the Hamster from preschool and James called and asked if she was with me. Um, no, what do you mean you don't know where she is?

James is legally blind and we have a big house and Sass likes to find a small space and read. That is why he didn't initially realize she was missing.

She was around the corner at a friend's house. She is not allowed to go anywhere without telling us. We have a nice house, on a decent street, but our neighborhood is pretty urban and there are streets nearby that have heavy traffic. There are also bad neighborhoods a few blocks over. An interesting thing about where we live - pockets of nice and scary back to back. Also, because we live in an urban area, there are quite a few sex offenders living around. The closest one is 5 blocks away. I had looked it up in the sex offender's database before we bought the house. I realize there are problems with this database, and all the implications that go with that could be an entire blog in and of itself, but it's still terrifying when your little girl is missing.

She left because she was mad at us. She had a decent day at school. She didn't seem upset when I went to walk them home from school. She had shared a funny story about a friend on the walk. What are you supposed to do with a kid who doesn't give you much warning?

Apparently, we don't let her do whatever she wants to do. Well of course we don't! We're good parents. Good parents don't let their child wander around quasi-inner city streets and ride their bikes all over town, which is what she wanted to do.

She wrote me a long letter (she's a writer) detailing some of our offenses. First of all, she hates her name. It's a beautiful name given to us in the temple for her. Second, she doesn't understand why we won't let her ride her bike around the block when her friends are allowed to. Well Sass, maybe their parents don't care if someone snatches them. Except that her argument was that they've never been snatched, so I shouldn't worry. Bizarrely she also included that her friends always had nice clothes that were clean. We stay on top of laundry and she just got about $200 worth of new clothes, so I'm not sure what that was about.

Because I am her mother and it's a mother's super power (usually) to know what is best for her own kids, I realized that she is just acting out her angst over moving and starting at a new school. Sass is actually quite resilient to change, but being the oldest child, the only girl, and having 2 parents who go to school double full-time can be overwhelming. She was crying for independence, but she really needed to spend more time with us. So I read Dr. Seuss books for an hour while she and the boys piled up on my bed and laughed. She needs me to take her to get our nails done. She needs to go shopping, and I don 't mean to the mall, I just mean grocery shopping. She needs Mommy time. I get it. I feel terrible that she thought she had to run away to get my attention. This did not go on consciously in her head. Sass genuinely thought she wanted new parents who would let her do what she wanted to do. But prayers can tell you amazing things about the path you should choose, especially when it comes to parenting.

She is grounded for the entire month. Which is really too bad for her, since this is her birthday month. We actually do birthday parties every year for every kid. I like parties and I think you should celebrate people on their birthdays. If you don't agree with me on that, I don't really care, so don't bother leaving a comment on that subject.

This isn't over. I realize that reading kids' books for an hour with my daughter will not heal whatever is bothering her. I also realize that this is part of the way some kids grow up. I threatened to run away at about the same age. I packed a bag of stuff and rode my bicycle up and down our street for close to an hour while my mother watched from the window. Then I came home and cried while she hugged me.

I love Sassafras so much it leaves me breathless sometimes. I know she came to our family for a reason. I hope I can be the mother Heavenly Father needs me to be for her and the boys.

2009-09-03T09:46:00.002-05:00

Update on yesterday's post

The White House is rethinking President Obama's address to schoolchildren next week. While the speech was touted as a pro-education and pro-American, many people, including myself, saw it as something a little more ominous. Exactly what kind of education would Pres. O be pushing? This article says that activities such as writing letters on how the kids could help the president would accompany watching the video. I'm not thrilled by the thought of this. I don't want to think about Bud (age 6) thinking of ideas about how to help the commander-in-chief who is trying to push his healthcare reform through in less time than it took him to pick out a dog for his little girls. Obviously it would be more along the lines of recycling and the usual govt education brainwashing topics, but still. The question was NOT, 'think not what your country can do for you, but what YOU can do to help the President'.

Yes, we should help each other.
Yes, a healthy country is a wealthy country.
Yes, we have a responsibility to help people who need it.
But, we do not need it crammed down our throats by an overzealous, under qualified (but probably very intelligent and a nice guy) President. Sorry, that's how I feel about it.

We also need to think just a little about how this type of address would have been received had George W. Bush tried to do it. Would school boards across the country have jumped at the chance to have a day filled with the patriotism and commitment to education that they say this address would have been about? I'm not so sure they would have.

That being said, I like W's education reforms less than I like the idea of O's schoolchildren address. No Child Left Behind?!?! Another blog post, another day...

2009-09-02T08:29:00.003-05:00

4 grits warning, just in case Nobody cares

Heads up:
Do you know what's going to happen on Sept. 8th? Pres. Obama will be addressing your children at school. There is a planned nation-wide address by the President to help the kids start their school year the right way. Whatever that means. You know what it means? There will be a sponsored brainwashing at a school near you. Am I Conservative? No. Ideally I would claim to be a Libertarian, although I realize this is an impossible political situation in reality. But Democrat, Republican, Seussian, whatever. I'm not comfortable with a politician speaking to my children without my consent. So I may very well be taking my kids out of school for this. I may very well give them my own address covering such topics as being kind to others and sharing what you have because YOU WANT TO, and not because you have been ordered to from over the barrel of a rifle. Yes, my kids go to a government school. Yes, I would send them to private school if I could afford it. Hopefully, eventually, I will do just that. But until then, I will do my best to be vigilant about the information that is fed to them. P.S. the article is a little inflammatory, so take it with a grain of salt.

2009-08-31T10:25:00.004-05:00

Guess:
Guess what y'all?
I've been writing this blog for a year now.

guess what else.
I reached my lose 15 pounds, get a subscription (prescription?) to a fashion mag. goal. I know, fashion mags don't really seem like my thing, but I'm a deep, deep well.

I'm close to my be comfortable in the next size down in jeans by the end of the summer goal too. I'm going with the technical end of summer here - September 21st.

My junk is not your treasure, it's still junk:
I survived the yard sale. I didn't make enough to feel like it was worth it. I also didn't sell my obnoxious neighbor, but that may have been slightly illegal if I had, so it's probably better that I didn't. I made $80, met some colorful yard-salers, and got a sunburn...on my chin. Which is what happens when you wear your cute hat with a short brim that you bought in Baltimore. I also realized that yard sales are like childbirth. You only have one every few years so you sort of forget how painful they are. Remind me the next time I say I want a yard sale, OK?

Tease:
Bud turned 6 in the last couple of weeks. I won't tell you exactly what day, just in case you're a stalker. I made a volcano cake for him that actually erupted, but my friend took the video because we can't find our cameras, so I have to wait for him to give me a copy of it. So you'll have to wait for the amazing, fabulous, unbelievable volcano cake. Sorry.

Butterfly kisses, dipped in flower petals, and deep-fried in cuteness:
My friend Eve had her beautiful baby. Go see her pretty little girl and wish her congratulations. Unless you're a stalker.

Based on a true story:
A kind and beautiful lady helped her daughter move out of her apartment this weekend. The daughter owed her mother money, so it was in the best interest of this nearly-canonized mother to help the daughter. Said mother was on her hands and knees for hours this weekend scrubbing the floors of the apartment to be vacated. Does the daughter have roommates? Why, yes she does! Were the roommates there helping? No, at the time the saintly mom was cleaning the hovel, the roommates were not there. So Mother-Rella was cleaning and scouring, scouring and cleaning. She did not have singing woodland creatures to help her either. The gorgeous and immensely talented mother finished the WC and moved on the pantry. Even angels fall sometimes, and the mother was not feeling her usual incredibly generous self at this point. One may even say she was pissed. The pantry was still full of food, so the mom was moving the food out of the pantry to clean the shelves. Nestled behind 3 boxes of cereal, in the back of the closet, was a large jar labeled catmint. Now, the daughter has been known to self-medicate occasionally with something that looks a lot like what this "catmint" looked like. The size-2 mother with supermodel looks decided to ease her pissy torment by throwing away the catmint. She supposed that misery loves company and she was going to spread it around a little by making someone sorry they had left such a suspicious looking jar of leaves in the pantry for her to find. Embarrassed though she was to tarnish her golden sheen, she took more than a little glee from throwing the entire jar away. That will teach those wretched 20-somethings what's what! Keeping illegal substances is illegal, and the mother who shown with an inner light was ridding the apartment of evil. And making her self feel better in the process. Win-win, right? Except that when the daughter came upstairs and the mother proudly exclaimed what she had done (including finger quotes for the "cat mint"), the daughter burst out laughing. Cat mint, dear readers, is another name for catnip, a harmless herb used to help one get to sleep. The crestfallen, but still beautiful, mother laughed too and realized how silly she was. And then she called her equally beautiful oldest daughter to tell the tale you have just read.

2009-08-26T11:46:00.002-05:00

A tiny little good time*

James and I took the kids out of town for a couple days. Since buying the house and moving, as well as juggling school schedules, we haven't had time or money to do a family vacation this summer. Normally we take the kids camping for about a week, or stay in a cabin deep in the woods, but this year, we could only carve out about 48 hours. So we took them to Dubuque. Since we won't be staying in the Midwest once we're done with school (we love you Iowa, but we just can't stay), we decided when we moved here that we would try to see as much of this part of the country as we could.

So I booked a hotel with a waterpark for two nights. It had slides, a lazy river, and a water jungle gym. We only suffered 2 bumped heads and James was hot. Not hawt, just hot. The man is nuclear. He would steam up the car windows even if we were driving around Hell (which we once did, btw, although I'm pretty sure the residents there usually just call it West Virginia). So we cranked the AC to 62 and the rest of us slept under piles of blankets, pillows, and a couple of bouncy balls that snuck their way into bed after being banned. The rest of the room was pretty good. It's hard to find a hotel room that will actually sleep 6 without having to turn children 90 degrees on the bed and have them all sleep that way. This room actually had 2 doubles and a pullout couch. You know your kids don't get out much when they fight over who gets to sleep on the pullout couch. I would have taken pictures, but we haven't been able to find our cameras since we moved. There was also a balcony. It was only a balcony in name, however, because it was literally about 8 inches deep. James got out onto it and slid the glass door behind himself. He was holding his breath and sort of leaned over the railing a little. And then I locked it. He couldn't turn around to give me a dirty look, but I could see little curls of smoke starting to come out of his ears, so I unlocked it and let him back in. After that, he told everyone else they couldn't go out there. Spoilsport.

We also went to the River Museum. If you ever need to take your picture next to about 15 different statues of Mark Twain, Or, if you want to spend more time herding your children out of the gift shop and then dealing with a crying 8-year old who couldn't find ANYthing that cost $2 or less, than actually looking at exhibits, OR, if you want to explain 20 times why the touch-the-gar exhibit is closed due to resting fish issues (fishues?) to an angry 6-year old, you should totally go to the River Museum.

This is not a paid advertisement for the museum by the way.

So I think our next mini vacation will probably be a weekend camping trip. Now that the Hamster is almost fully potty-trained, I will end my ban on tent camping. Anyone who has camped with a kid in diapers will understand.

I need to go, I'm having a yard sale this weekend and I'm still pulling stuff together to sell. Anyone want to buy one ice skate? or half a puzzle? or an obnoxious neighbor?

*Sassafras used to make up words and phrases. Having a "tiny little good time" meant we were all enjoying a really great experience.

P.S. James really is hawt :) And the museum was actually pretty fun.

2009-08-24T18:38:00.003-05:00

For Super L (especially)

a few conspiracy theories to _______________ you,

Give us your foreskin and we'll leave you alone...but not really.
The CDC is considering urging all parents to circumcise their children. Oops! Did I say children? I meant your boys. A govt institution, that admittedly is in some ways a good organization, wants to tell you whether or not to cut off part of your little boy's penis. Is that a little harsh to read? Too bad. Not harsher than having part of your body removed without your consent.

And it will all end with a big pile of pulsating bio-goo.
Scientists ~~already have~~ are this close to creating artificial life. But Michelle, surely they will use their powers for good and only make little yeastie beasts to clean up spilled petroleum. HA! How do you know "they" haven't already made fake people who walk among us? OK, just kidding. I'm not that far off the deep end. But still, it's creepy. I don't particularly like the thought of some lab-dork (sorry to all my lab-dork readers) thinking up ways to create new tiny minions to infect all the people who made fun of him for wearing ladies' thongs in high school. Wake up and smell the sci-fi people!

Kiss your mother with that keyboard?
This one is great. A crazy chick called another crazy chick a skank anonymously on her blog. The crazy skank sued Google to find out the identity of the crazy blogger. The judge ruled in the crazy skank's favor. Now the crazy blogger is suing Google for $15 million for unmasking her. She would have asked for more, but she can't count that high.

Yes, I am feeling rather mean today, since you asked.

Karma is a bitch.
Bernie Madoff, the old guy who lived it up on other peoples' money, went to prison. Forever. Now he's telling everyone he has cancer. Think he really does? Cause, you know, jail probably isn't as much fun as stealing widows' life-savings.

She's not just my sister, she's also my wife!
This is why the jokes we tell are always about Alabama. Or Abalama as GrandDad used t'say. Modern-day Hatfields and McCoys got into it the other night. This is favorite part "The town's police chief was hit in the head with a crowbar but was OK." How much you wanna bet whoever got arrested sat in his jail cell hootin n hollerin when his news story came on?

I don't feel so brave in this world.
So now the Big O, and I don't mean Oprah, wants to create a special interrogation unit led by our prestigious Commander. Oh but don't worry, he won't have anything to do with it. The FBI will be in charge of it. But doesn't the CIA usually cover Intelligence? Yup. I'm thinking they're not too happy about this. You know, why don't they just hire Google to track everyone? They already track everyone's online movements. And just so you know, I'm not thrilled about Google checking out my cookies. (my online cookies, weirdo)

There you go. Now go forth, and conspire.

2009-08-19T22:31:00.003-05:00

a little spice makes e'er thang nice

*I wrote a depressing blog post. I'm not dying (or pregnant) lovely reader, just stressed. But thank you for your concern, all the same.

*My mom texted me and told me she was going to be on some show on MTV. My mom is ** years old, people! on MTV?!? story developing...

*I suffered a migraine *shudders*. Nothing like having your head turned inside out swiftly and violently to make you immediately re-prioritize your day.

*I saw a rainbow. I spent an hour, gloriously alone, in a book store as a tempest raged outside. The heavens calmed themselves, I paid for my books (I bought 6 just for me!), and walked outside to see God's promise up above.

*The checkout lady at Walmart didn't say a word to me until she told me the total. I had almost $300 worth of groceries. That's a long time for a southern gal to wait for some dang customer service or a smile. If I had been in GA, I would have heard her life story starting from where her parents were born, all about her daughter's medical conditions (including the pictures), her brother who just got out of jail but still can't go within 10 miles of that trailer park anymore, and her new puppy who chewed up all her underwear and then got sick on her bed. Hmmm, come to think of it, carry on, Midwestern checker-outer. I wasn't in the mood anyway.

*the Hamster has only fallen off the potty-train once this week.

*Pickles asked if he could take the snake to school for Pet Day instead of the rabbit, because he was worried the rabbit would bite people.

*My suburban now only smells vaguely like the half-gallon of milk that spilled in the back a few weeks ago.

*James would like me to also add that he has done all the laundry and dishes for the last week as well. When I can come home after 12-hr school days to an empty sink and clean clothes, I can definitely add that to the post, Honey. Oh, also, I get foot rubs.

*and you stopped by to say hi. That's the best part :)

What has happened that has made your week nicer?

2009-08-17T21:57:00.002-05:00

Feeling the strain

Do you ever feel like you need a break from something you do all the time? I know you do. Even if it's something that's good for you and is a necessary part of your life? I kind of feel that way about church right now. Like it's more of an effort than I can really handle. The only reason I want to go is for is the kids' sakes. My children and the ones in my Primary class. I understand all the reasons why I should go. I even understand that because I feel this way, I need to be there more than ever. But knowing something and being able to muster up the strength to do it are two different things.

I'm just so tired...

2009-08-10T19:17:00.003-05:00

Conversations with kids...

Bud: I'm a storm!
me: A tornado?
Bud: edible play-dough?
me: no, a tornado!
Bud: um, no, just a storm.
************

me: Sass! get your dirty socks off my counter!
the Hamster: Ewwwwwwww!!!! I hate counters!
************

Pickles: Oh Dagnabbit! Blast it all!
************

Pickles: Mom, BunBun (his rabbit) really likes it when I make him pretend like he's talking. He says things like 'More celery please, and less onions. Thanks' BunBun is very polite.
me: I appreciate politeness in a pet.
************

the Hamster: If I go poo-poo potty, I can hab a twain?
me: like Thomas?
the Hamster: no, a WEAL twain.
me: use the potty and we'll talk...
************

all of them, constantly, anytime we drive anywhere, even if I've already told them a million times: Where are we going?
me: Crazy, and you're driving
************

the Hamster: What do shawks eat, Mom? he's a boy, let the shark fascination begin...
me: other fish
the Hamster: Dat's nat-ty! if I was a shawk, I would eat CAKE!
*************

Sass: I am SO glad I'm not a boy...
*************

Bud (who's birthday is late this month): I'm gonna have two birthdays this year Mom. That way, I can be 7 instead of turning 6 after everyone else. It's hard to start first grade when I'm only 5.
me: Wow, Bud. That was an incredibly wise thing to say.
Bud: Ok, but I don't know what wise means.
*************

Pickles: Why do you have to go to school all the time? You already know so much stuff!

2009-08-10T04:29:00.003-05:00

Hello beautiful people!

I've had a few blog posts rolling around in my head lately, but they're not so coherent and they're also not finished, so rather than wait till my Organic Chemistry class is over and I have my days back for a couple months, I decided to just post a few updates about what's goin' on 'round here.

We're settling into the house. We have just a few boxes left to unpack and we're planning a garage sale for the last weekend in August. Anyone who wants to bring anything over, you're welcome to do so. No kids though. It's illegal to sell them. Don't worry about how I know that, just trust me.

I also would love some bar stools too, if you happen to have 4 you don't need anymore. Apparently, bar stools are in high demand. I've been trolling craigslist recently looking for them. I've found free chinchillas, and an antique torture device, but no bar stools for less than $100/pc. I didn't take the chinchillas or the antique, I just found them...

The kids are loving their own rooms. It'd be great if they'd actually sleep in them. Bud carries his outer space nightlight around with him and that's how I know which room he's sleeping in. I just look for the projected image of space on a ceiling. Pickles shares his room with his rabbit, BunBun. Nobody could come up with a good name, so his nickname stuck. Pickles didn't like my suggestions of Steve, Ra-butt, or Dinner, so Bunbun it is. Sassafras has been living in her room for the past several weeks. She's on a mission to read a gajillion books this summer. She's almost there too. We just slide a plate of food under her door and try not to get our hand bitten. And the Hamster is still not potty-trained. Remember how I said it's illegal to sell kids? Well, I'll give you this one. He's really cute, funny, and eats his fruits and veggies, he just smells awful once or twice a day.

I have to go write up a paper that's due in a few hours, but I wanted to let y'all know we're still here. Hopefully it won't be close to 2 weeks again before I post.

Love you long time, Michelle.

2009-07-30T06:34:00.003-05:00

Things I miss about my kids while I'm away:

Sassafras
1. How helpful/loyal/kind/generous she is.
2. The rich dark color of her hair and eyes. How pretty Sass is takes my breath away.
3. Her laugh when something is unexpectedly funny.
4. Her ideas about life.
5. Discussing books with her.

Pickles
1. His curious curious questions.
2. His round cheeks.
3. His hug-a-minute ness
4. How even when he smells like 3-day old overcooked bellybutton, I know where his still smelling good spots are.
5. How sweet he is with the Hamster

Bud
1. His freckles. Oh! His freckles!
2. You know how some kids are snuggle-bears or snuggle-bunnies? Bud is a snuggle-porcupine. The kid is all elbows and knees. And I miss that.
3. He understands and uses puns. He's 5!
4. His quest for justice for all, even though it's usually slanted a little his way. (he is 5 after all)
5. How much he loves me. I've never gotten so many I-love-you notes from anyone.

the Hamster
1. His blue eyes. I could lose an hour or so in them, if he'd let me.
2. The baby that's still in his chubby elbows, thighs, nibblelicious neck, shallow dimples, and raspberry-worthy belly.
3. How much he loves fruit. The kid could put away half a watermelon alone... and he has!
4. Watching him morph from a baby to a big boy. It's painful, beautiful, and amazing.
5. His devotion to Sassafras, his mini-mom.

and so many other things...

2009-07-26T19:53:00.000-05:00

I've told you before (if you don't remember, or I didn't really tell you before, then just go along with it) that I'm a teacher at church for the 4-yr olds turning 5. It's called CTR 5. CTR = Choose the Right. Anyhoo, each Sunday, we ask the children how their week was. Did they do anything special? Did they go anywhere fun? James, who team-teaches with me, always asks what they had for breakfast...

So the last few Sundays have been particularly entertaining.

me: How was your week E?

E: It was good. (interrupting herself) I'M A ROCKSTAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! So anywaaaaaaaay, my sistooh and me took a shower and we peed on each other. Oh, we also went to Chuck-E-Cheese last week, but I already told you about that.

James inexplicably had a coughing fit at this point.

me: You know, E, that's probably not a good idea. I don't think your mom would like that if she knew.

E: Oh, she doesn't know. Also, when are you gonna get a new boy? Bud is totally annoying. Are you pregnant now?

me: Uh, no. OK, who's next?

Chach: ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!

me: Ok, Chach, what did you do this week?

Chach: We went to Chuck-E-Cheese too!

me: You did? That's awesome! What for?

Chach: Dad said that if M went potty training, then we could go. She did, so we went. I got 20 tokens!

E: You did not.

Chach: I did too! You weren't there.

me: She went, E. Girls, that's enough. Who's next? Y? You want to go next?

Y: no.

me: Not anything?

Y: no.

me: J? How bout you, buddy?

J: I have a baby now.

me: You do? What's his name? (J's new little brother is several months old now, but he's still excited about it.)

J: E-why. And then he said something that sounded like a story about monkeys invading his house.

me: Really! That's great. J'dan? How bout you honey?

J'dan: We had some friends come over. And they made a mess. And my mom said they're not very good-picker-uppers but that every family has different rules and that we like them anyway.

I'm sharing these with you so that as a parent, you can be aware that your kid is soaking up and sharing all kinds of interesting tidbits with their teachers, and probably any other adult who will take half a minute and listen. And then that adult will blog about it.

Just so you know!

P.S. E and her sister do not really pee on each other. I shared E's story with her mom and they had a LONG talk!

2009-07-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

I've been chastised for taking so long between posting. I suppose I could post rather than facebook, but since fb is like TV for me (I don't watch TV btw), I don't need my brain. I can zone out and read my news, catch up with people, etc, without having to think up any commentary on stuff. But since you are here, you must be interested at least a little, and some of you a lottle, by the thinks I think.

So here's a few things that have been niggling my brain.

I'm taking a physics survey course. And as much fun as trying to remember trig functions is, sometimes it's a bit boring. *gasp!* I know. But my teacher said something poetic the other day, which added to the marbles rolling around in my noggin.

Picking a flower could move a star.

Due to the effects of gravity, everything has some impact on everything else. This is not a new thought to me. You can't sit on top of a mountain and not have this thought. But it's been awhile since I've either thought this, or sat atop a mountain.

My teacher for one of my business classes also added to the marble pile by reminding us to sit still for about 10 minutes everyday.

I don't think I've done enough of that lately.

And when I don't sit still with myself enough, I find myself questioning things from an outside perspective rather than from within. Which is where I should start my thinks. My ideas and decisions, when born from silence and reverence, have a divine origin. When the silence is drowned by the noises from school, other people, the kids' Wii/movies, loud music, and...well...you get the picture, then I lose that peaceful facet.

I need to go again. There are things I must take care and then I think I will go find a quiet corner to myself for awhile. If you have a comment, feel free to leave it. If you have any particular way that you renew yourself, I'd love to read it.

2009-07-15T18:47:00.003-05:00

a slight departure from usual Wednesday fare:

Weird Pictures Wednesday

Electrified plants. It's...well...electrifying.

Just in case that bad joke didn't tingle your fancy, a photo of a lightning bolt hitting a boat. It's shocking!

wait! Don't go. I promise no more terrible puns.

this may be photoshopped, but if it's not, it will complete the triumvirate of cool electricity photos.

y'all be good, come back now, and and watch for deer!

2009-07-14T10:31:00.002-05:00

I have bloggers' block. I want to keep y'all update, rahlly I do, but I sit here to type and all I can think about is how stressed I am. I don't even have time to do the de-stressing things I do like painting/walking/hanging out with friends.

I have a beautiful old attic in our new house that I want to turn into a studio. Converting it really just means putting drafting tables and easels and supplies up there and sitting down to paint.

Are you new here? I'm an artist. I like to play around with all mediums, but what I have a burning desire to do is paint in oils. Specifically with paint knives. I like to smear the paint on like it's icing. I usually use a very rich palette full of deep blues, crimsons, and yellow ochres. I tend to go towards a more impressionist style with a dreamy quality. I like to express how something made me feel, rather than recreate a scene. Are we all together now?

Moving on.

Anyway, I can't seem to remember anything funny my kids have said lately. Either I can't seem to keep it in my brain, or I just haven't seen them enough lately. Prolly both. I am planning on taking Sassafras to see the new Harry Potter movie. She made it a goal to reread the series this summer and finished last week, little genius that she is. She read them all last summer, but didn't finish till August.

I haven't been keeping up with politics lately either. I'd love to write a witty reply to Sotomayer's wise Latina remark, but I've only skimmed articles and read headlines.

I feel as though I'm losing my pithiness. Or it's just being replaced with Chemistry and Physics.

I did get to unpack all my herbs and spices. The smell when I opened the boxes in the new kitchen almost made me cry.

There's lots to do at the new house. Unpacking first, but small repairs here and there. It's 109 years old, so there's ongoing upkeep. It's beautiful though.

I have to go. I have class again in a few. Sorry if this post is so disjointed...

2009-07-13T10:27:00.003-05:00

The interesting situation I find myself in:

I'm paying rent for the month of July for a house I'm not living in.

I don't officially own the house we are living in until next Friday.

Money hasn't been this tight in a long time.

We met one of our new neighbors, who immediately threatened to call the cops on us if we let our dog bark all night again. Which we don't. A plate of cookies would have been a WAY nicer welcome.

Someones tried to get into my truck the first night it was parked out front. My 285K mile, battered, nicest thing in it is Hamster's car seat, Suburban. So, luckily we have a garage out back that we will definitely be parking in from now on.

We had a swarm of people from church come and help us move. We have NEVER had this many church members help us move. When we get settled, y'all all need to come over for some fried chicken - yee haw!

I got a new pair of running shoes, but haven't been able to try them out for the last 3 days. grr.

I have a great new attic with 100 year old wooden floors to use as a studio. I'm itching to paint just thinking about it.

Good friends moved away, and I miss them.

I'm on a 2 hour break from classes right now, before I have to go back.

which is why...

I've been reading and enjoying everyones' blogs, even if I haven't been commenting or posting my own. Don't worry, I'm still here.

2009-07-08T12:01:00.003-05:00

Quick update

We close on the house tomorrow at 1pm

I start a brutal school schedule next Tuesday that will have some days that start at 8am, take a break at 2pm, start back at 345pm and end at 945pm. I have already made a giant cardboard cutout of myself so the kids don't miss me. Then I recorded myself saying things like "Go clean your room!", and "Get off the roof!" They won't miss me at all.

Mom and Shannon came for Pickles' baptism on the Fourth of July. Cool date, no? But we miss them. We also missed our other family members who couldn't make it.

I got some running shoes. I like walking/running, it's just difficult to get out and do it. But I am 15 lb lighter than I was last summer, so it's progress. My small goal is to be a size smaller by the end of summer. Just one size. My pants now are already a lot looser, so I'm on track.

I'm thinking about planning a road trip to ATL at the end of October to pick up all the house type things we left in GA when we moved here: washing machine, corner cabinet, lawn mower, etc.. So if you feel like driving to GA and back with me the last week of October, let me know. I don't listen to country and I don't take many bathroom breaks, so that weeds a few of y'all out already.

That's about it for now.

2009-07-06T11:44:00.002-05:00

An email my mother sent me. Thanks, anonymous author!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs..I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

2009-06-29T11:15:00.002-05:00

Things I've did in the past week...

I spent a day watching most of the little boys at Cub Scout camp beat on each other while my son borrowed a magnifying glass to watch a caterpillar crawl a tree.

I got a ferocious sunburn at said camp.

I went to bed before 8PM that night.

******

I sent my little girl to GA on a big plane all by herself for a week. Don't worry, she's not spending her week in ATL alone, my mother picked her up from the airport - thanks Mom!

I cried because I miss her.

******

I spent 10 hours over the weekend scraping lead paint off of 15 windows in the house we're buying. I spent another 2 hours repainting them.

I was simultaneously pissed and thankful that we are buying a house that was foreclosed upon.

We found 6 baby bunnies in the backyard at the new house.

I convinced my kids that the babies were better off with their mother than with us. This was rather selfish on my part, since I had no desire to wake up every few hours to try to feed baby rabbits with a ridiculously small dropper bottle.

******

We celebrated 8 years of Pickles being here on Earth as part of our family with a cookout at the park. He had a blast, I had a hamburger.

I turned 31.

Yep, we share a birthday.

******

gotta go finish a 10-page take-home exam, so I'll be back later!

2009-06-25T10:43:00.002-05:00

This was written almost a week ago as a Word doc. I've been having internet problems...
But it's here now, and that's what matters.

How I spent my evening…

I studied and memorized the entire periodic table. It was great! I balanced redox equations with ease and handmade a Madame Curie costume all within an hour. Pickles presented a full length opera he had composed, Bud softly played a difficult piece by Mozart, and the Hamster painted a family portrait in oils. James made a 3 course meal that was healthy and balanced, while Sassafras was away at an accelerated learning Boarding Camp for gifted girls. Our house was spotless, the dogs taught themselves to use the restroom AND flush, and we found a check for $500 dollars that had fallen behind a cabinet! It was amazing! We ended the evening with a family singalong and homemade granola that had been baking at a low temperature for several hours so as not to destroy the enzymes present in all the raw nuts and seeds I had added.

Here, have some wading boots, because it’s getting kind of deep in here.

How I ACTUALLY spent my evening…

I hid in my room, the only one with a window AC unit. James interrupted me 10 minutes later, 10 FREAKIN MINUTES! later to ask what to make the boys for dinner. When I explained that it was kind of his job to think of something tonight since he was done with school for the next month and I’m taking a difficult class, he said the boys had been eating all day and probably weren’t hungry right now anyway.

The boys interrupted 10 minutes after that to ask what I was making for dinner because they were starving. I ~~screamed~~ calmly explained that their father would be making them dinner tonight. And to please leave. I SAID LEAVE. please.

Pickles did NOT compose an opera – he sat in front of the Wii for 2 hours straight. Bud did NOT play the piano, he whined about not being able to play the Wii because he screamed at the dentist’s today for 30 minutes about having to have x-rays taken (which eventually weren’t). the Hamster did NOT paint a canvas, he actually pooped in his underwear twice. When they were finally sent to bed, they asked what they had eaten for dinner.

Sass was away all day being a Mother’s Helper to a friend so she could make some fun money to spend when she’s in GA for a week without us. That’s a whole other post…

The house is a mess, I found a strainer full of blueberries (and fruit flies) under the dining room table, and the washing machine hasn’t been working for a week. Why? Because I decided to wash the bathroom rug. The 10 year-old bathroom rug being held together with dirt and ~~disgusting things never to be spoken of~~ love. The rug that didn’t get hung after it was washed, but rather sat in the washer going sour and losing its rubber backing piece by tiny piece. So that when I rewashed the sour laundry load the next day, the backing completely disintegrated. And clogged up the hose. I said screw it, it’s finals week and my chem. class has begun.. And so it sat for 2 more days.

Tonight was the night. The night the washing machine was going down. I was beyond being able to wear the same pair of pants for another day. The washer had to be conquered. I saw things and smelled things that will haunt me for years. Things no mother in a civilized society should ever see/smell. But I won. And I will wear clean pants again!

2009-06-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

Did I scare you away pretties?

You should be thankful I only post a few of my conspiracy theories on this here blog.

You can come back and read now. I promise this post is full of delightfully witty things my kids said.

Ready?

Sassafras held up a waffle in front of the Hamster's face and said, "THIS is a spider waffle, see its many many eyes?"
(she had bitten tiny holes all through it)

Sass, again. "I'm going to steamroller you, Pickles!"
Pickles: The only steam I see is coming from your posterior region. P-U!
(Have I mentioned Pickles is still 7? Did I mention our plethora of anatomy books we have laying around the house?)

the Hamster: Mom? An I hab dog-foo ice weam?
me: Dog-food ice cream?
the Hamster: yeah!
me: Sorry Dude, we're all out.

Bud: Mom, I'm having a really hard time scratching my ear with my foot.

me (exasperated): the Hamster, PLEASE use the potty! You are a big boy and you need to use the potty like Bud and Pickles, or I will make you use the bathroom outside, and sleep in the dogs' crates at night, eat dogfood. Is that what you want?
the Hamster: YES!

Does it sound as though our dogs are actually raising our kids instead of James and me? Will you see a story on our poor neglected Mowgli children on the evening news? Only if you turn me in!

Sass: When I grow up, I will let my kids wear whatever they want!
me: Whatever! I'm going to live with you and still pick your clothes out for you when you're 35.
Sass: How will I ever get away from you?

Pickles: Bud hit me again! On PURPOSE!
me: Why?
Pickles: Because I kicked him.

So there you go, no aliens, zombies, or gov't plots today! Tune in next week for another exciting adventure!

2009-06-16T12:48:00.002-05:00

Newspeak and the Thought Police coming to a T.V. near you!

Can you say Nineteen Eighty-Four, boys and girls? Now that the president has control of a major network, tell me how the Socialist States of America will play this out. How long before they set a protocol for things you can say and things you can't say? How long before they set a protocol about things you can show and things you can't? I know this sounds like a fairly extreme conspiracy theory, but this kind of thing scares the hell out of me. This is not a news source anymore. ABC has become a propaganda machine.

2009-06-14T21:58:00.003-05:00

Randumb

Did you ever wonder about the brain anatomy of a zombie? Maybe you remember how I feel about zombies. Maybe this guy has a thing about zombies like I have a thing about tornadoes. So he wrote a "scientific" paper detailing the brain of a zombie.

Dr. Weirdo (see above) briefly discussed, in his (I'm sure) peer-reviewed thesis, what zombies eat for dinner. I bet they don't sushi though. But if you do, you may be hosting a new friend. This article discusses how the rise in popularity in sushi has also given rise to the world's population of tapeworms.

Excuse me while I go dry heave.

OK, I'm back.

Now that you're sufficiently grossed out, how about a cool optical illusion.

that is all today kids...

2009-06-08T15:56:00.002-05:00

I know I said I'd take a break from posting, but I wanted to share,
a few things that made my week more interesting...

Having to say, "Do NOT put the dog's tail into the fan!"

Hearing about how the other inmates saved cookies for a lady who's "paying off" her traffic fines with weekends in jail...from the pulpit during a fasting and testimony meeting.

Reading about this tiny microwave that plugs into a USB port on a computer. You know, in case you need a very small bag of popcorn while you're facebooking and you just can't pull yourself away.

Telling Pickles, more than once, that I had no idea if it would take longer for someone with a tan to die in the desert than it would take a really white person to die.

Having all my kids ride home in their undies after an accidental swimming lesson in a park pond.

Finding sandwich meat stuffed into an empty water bottle in the fridge.

Finding this video on boortz.com. I'm terrified of tornadoes, almost to the point of phobia. It's ridiculous really, I've never even been through one. But each Spring, I read stories, watch videos, and view pictures of the massive storms and generally scare myself stupid about it. Like it's tornado porn. So anyway, this video just feeds the fear. Also, I'm starting a therapy fund for myself.

Hearing one of the counselors in Primary say she must be smoking something because she messed up what she was saying. In front of the kids.

Taking the kids to see UP. It was really an excellent movie. I laughed throughout the movie because it was genuinely funny. There wasn't even any hidden innuendo to try to keep the adults entertained! I don't know about you, but I hate it when directors think they need to add some "hidden" sexual humor in a kids' movie to try to keep the adults happy. Congratulations Pixar! Another good one, so thanks. Also, I definitely recommend the 3-D version.

Watching Bud dance. Probably the best thing all week. He's insanely shy, so seeing him bounce around like a chicken perched on an electric fence was AWESOME!

2009-06-07T00:08:00.003-05:00

Oh! The fun we had at the park today!

picture taken by Mama Howerton

2009-06-06T14:18:00.002-05:00

4 grits warning

Well, this may be an opening for the restablishment of certain gospel laws. New Hampshire, one of those states that not a whole lot of people know anything about, has polygamy advocates up in arms after they passed a same-sex marriage law. The polygamists argue that if two guys/gals can get married, then why can't more than two people make a marriage. I realize that marriage in the temple is only between a man and a woman. But will gay marriage laws repave the path toward polygamy? It is a very interesting debate to think about.

I try not to think about the end of times too often. It's a heavy heavy topic. One that I'm not entirely comfortable with, actually.

So anyway, if you have any thoughts on this, feel free to comment. I promise not to attack you, unless you attack first. But any thoughtful interesting comments are welcome.

2009-06-03T16:07:00.003-05:00

A little bloggy sampler, with a side of southwest ranch sauce

Weird News Wednesday
Do you like pigeons? Yeah, me neither, but these pictures are pretty cool.

Conversations with kids
Bud, (pretending to be a dad) "You are bad! Go to your room!"
Sassafras "You better be careful, or I'm calling Child Amusement!"

(We can work on the psychology of that conversation later...)

Politics
What the crap is going on with the big O saying it's perfectly OK for Iran to have nukes? You don't give mental patients big sharp knives to play with and hope nothing bad will happen.

Daily Life Updates
*We should close on the house by the end of the month. We are also very poor, and will qualify for some forgivable loan type programs to add to the down payment.
*My chemistry class starts Monday. Coincidentally, finals for the other school I'm attending also start Monday. Can we say stress, boys and girls?
*The B&B James whisked me away to was wonderful. If you live around here, and you need a relaxing place to go visit, ask me where it was.
*The kids get out of school Friday. Did I mention I won't be? These next two weeks should be, uh, interesting.

So I probably won't be posting too too much for a little while.

But I still love you.

2009-05-31T19:19:00.004-05:00

Lemme give you a twopic.
Twalk amongst ya-selves.

*Why does the busiest airport in the world have chicken bones on the floor in Baggage Claim?

*Why does my 3.5 yr-old have no interest in potty-training unless it involves bribery? Perhaps I'm being played?

*Why would a old gross smoker ask me if any of us darlin's have a cigarette when it was me and 2 of my KIDS standing there?

*Why have my children been obsessed with the fattest-man-in-the-world?

*Why have I wanted to send them a postcard "from" the fattest-man-in-the-world (asking them to bring him more food and if they don't he'll eat them) as a joke?

*Who told my kindergartner that we live in the nostril of the state we live in? (If you know what state we live in, look, we live right at the nose)

*What in the world did the dog eat, because the hork on the carpet is unidentifiable? (just so you know, I cleaned it up BEFORE I blogged)

*Why did I just break my own I-don't-post-about-vomit rule?

*Why have I decided to up my school hours from 18 to virtually 30?

*When did the kids going to high school become closer in age to my daughter than to me?

*Why are there popcorn kernels all over the living room floor, when I don't buy popcorn?

*Why am I blogging about them instead of vacuuming them up?

*Why are you still reading this post?

Buh-bye!

2009-05-29T15:58:00.003-05:00

I realize I'm being very stingy with my posting lately. Life has been flying past at a mile a minute and I haven't had much time to sit and whip you up a delicious pot o' Michelle. I don't have much time now either. awwwww, man.

I know.

The 30th is James' and my anniversery and he has "surprised" me with a weekend away. I give you "' with the surprise, because I always find out. The man has never surprised me with anything. Poor guy. He keeps trying though. And that's what counts.

So we're off to a B&B. Mama Howerton has graciously agreed to watch our kids for us. So before she can change her mind, I'm off to pack the kids up and send them to a super fun place where they get good snacks and there's a trampoline and better games and cupcakes to ice (in their words).

Thanks, Howertons, I can't tell you how much I need this. If you keep watching the kids for us, I'm going to end up owing you a month of babysitting!

2009-05-28T10:27:00.002-05:00

Interesting...

There is a new airline that will start offering $9 tickets. They will serve mid-sized cities where larger airlines won't fly.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/New-lowcost-airline-targets-apf-15348934.html?.v=5

So there ya go.

2009-05-26T20:05:00.002-05:00

This past week, I...

flew to GA and back with 4 kids alone

got to hang out with some of my favorite relatives

wore a bridesmaid dress

sniffled and cried, but just a little, when my baby sister married a good man

almost lit my extremely hair sprayed hair on fire standing too close to the candles

watched my kids shake their booties on the dance floor - they are GOOD

ate leftover wedding cake 3 days in a row

took the kids to the Renaissance Festival

bought the kids tails and gargoyles (what kid doesn't want a tail and a gargoyle?)

got a two hour massage from my other sister, and it was awesome

....

and now I desperately miss my family and GA and all the friends I didn't have time to visit and, oh!

so I'm going to go be homesick now, and study for the exams I missed that I have to make up tomorrow.

I'll post more good stuff soon, promise...

2009-05-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

Hamster and Rowlf
A boy and a dog (and a half)
*the paper airplane was made by the little boy, the chewed egg carton all over the floor was hopefully done by the dog*

2009-05-17T21:58:00.003-05:00

Updates

Still waiting on news on the house. Apparently trying to buy a house in quasi-foreclosure takes longer than a...
than a...
longer than something that takes a really long time, that's what.

Sassafras's attitude has greatly improved this past week. Incidentally, the Wii wouldn't turn on all last week. Do I know anything about why the Wii wouldn't turn on? If I do, I'm not telling...

Pickles has told me everyday for the past week that after my sister's wedding next Friday, that he wants his hair cut into a mohawk. This will be his 3rd or 4th mohawk. He usually gets one at the beginning of the summer. After Memorial Day, you can wear white shoes again, people up north open their pools, and Pickles gets a mohawk. It's how we mark the seasons up hee-yah.

Bud has had a melt-down everyday this week. So Sass calms down with no Wii, and Bud needs it to calm down. That sounds like a really boring topic for a really boring research paper, no? The difference in boys and girls reaction to electronic stimuli. Or perhaps that one is better left unwritten...

Hamster has decided to expand his vocabulary. Unfortunately most of the new words are references to anatomy (he's the youngest of 4 and has 2 older brothers) and what that function of that anatomy is, but at least he's talking more.

I'm flying out Tuesday night with all 4 kids...alone...
James flies out Wednesday. He can miss less classes than I can, or that's what he tells me anyway. So say a little prayer Tuesday, that I won't go insane at the airport and be subjected to a strip search. I'll try very hard not to pretend my thumb and index finger are a gun. And I will valiantly resist making bomb jokes. But I can't promise I won't ask my children where their mother is if they misbehave.

That's all ya get tonight. I have to finish several assignments that are due while we're gone, that I have to turn in before we leave. And finals are coming up soon too. And I start a chemistry class before finals are outdone at one of the schools I'm attending.

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...................................

2009-05-12T22:37:00.008-05:00

Twinkle Toes McTwinkleson

Saturday was Sassafras's dance recital. It has been 5 months of hating dance class to get to the recital. She loves recitals. This is the kid who asked to be a sheep in a play once so her only line would be BAAAAAHHHHHHH. So I don't really understand the fascination with being on stage only for recitals.

So the recital line-up included the usual players:

1. The little girl in pre-tap/ballet who couldn't keep her pants up. By the end of the routine, she was falling over her little glittered bloomers.

2. The little one who was supposed to be some kind of animal, but couldn't see through her mask, so she held it up. And tripped anyway.

3. The litte boy wearing a leopard print top and tight pants. In Jazz 2. Sass says he also has a bright pink DS. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

And Sass. In her blue webbed top over a brown tank (was supposed to be a black tank, was given a black one, I thought the black one was on her body, saw her wearing a brown one in the recital), and her black yoga pants that I hemmed an hour before the recital, she danced with all the enthusiasism that one Sassafras can muster. Which isn't an incredible amount usually. I'm not getting down on my kid, just statin' the facts, Ma'am.

So I made her up. Dance recitals, Mardi Gras, and dates are like the only time your 9 yr.-old kid can wear make-up right? It wasn't over the top, but it was some blush and lip gloss. She was thrilled! I was worried. I saw a few years into the future, and I must say, I didn't like it.

But I'm proud of her. So I'm doing what every proud mother does and putting up a video that only her Grandmomma would really want to watch. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to watch it. I don't usually watch videos of your kid either.

She's all the way on the left, Mom. But I'm sure you already knew which one was your baby, right?

2009-05-12T21:28:00.000-05:00

Weird News Wednesday

Apparently, Cheerios are a drug. I always kind of thought they were like baby crack. Just trying going to church without them. Your baby will get the shakes, she will cry, she will act like she sees things that aren't there. She will have all the symptoms of withdrawal. Of course, that's how babies act most of the time, so it will be hard to tell, but you'll know...

Cheerios won't help men who have "man flu". Women really ARE the stronger sex. You didn't need me to tell that, though, did you? Studies (don't get me started on studies and stats) have shown that men are more susceptible to illness. So when they weally don't feeh gooood, they really DON'T feel good.

And because I like Cheerioes, and they make a nice segue, and it's my blog, we'll use them again. If you have a husband, (I'm talking to you Nobody) who will make a bowl of Cheerios and put it in the fridge as unfinished leftovers, then this story may give you pause to let him do that anymore. An office worker cleaning out a fridge full of nast released a cloud that made 28 people sick. This story makes me feel better about my own unplugged fridge full of moldy food. I'm just kidding. It's not unplugged.

You know what the weirdest part is? It's still Tuesday.

2009-05-12T15:18:00.005-05:00

Warning: A highly gritty post

This is an article about a movement. A movement where black families decide to only buy products from black-owned businesses. It's slanted as a feel-good human interest story.

It actually really pisses me off.

Lemme 'splain.

What if I decided to only buy from white people? What if I called ahead to see who picked up the phone? What if I walked into a store, and asked to who the owner was, and then decided to only shop there if the owner's name "sounded white"?

What kind of reception do you think I would get? A nice news article discussing how I'm supporting other white people?

So it's a wonderful thing for a black family to only shop at black-owned businesses to show pride in their race, huh?

Bullshit.

It's another way to divide the nation.

If you want to build this country,
If you want to support your neighbors,
If you want to put money into the economy so we can stop this recession,

Then spend money in stores based on:
The principles they espouse,
How they present their business' mission statement,
and how they offer customer service.

That being ~~vented~~ said, I also think everyone should have the right to shop wherever they damn well please.

So now I'm off to buy Scout supplies from a white lady, get my dress hemmed by an Asian lady, and get a new phone from a black guy...

2009-05-11T19:50:00.003-05:00

My mom:

loves traveling. I keep trying to convince her to be a travel scout.

loves musicals. She doesn't have to have music playing all the time like I do, but one of the best gifts for her is tickets to anything at the Fox in Atlanta.

loves her bling. If it's precious or semi-precious and set in gold, she's all over it.

loves her family. She will hop on a plane, as long as she has 2 hours notice to get through security, and go anywhere for anyone who needs her. And she has - often.

is very intelligent. Not only does she remember ~~useless~~ various trivia, she can figure out a tip before the bill flutters to the table. She's our go-to person for topics ranging from insurance, to fashion, to international relations, to etiquette.

hates the cold. She moved from PA to GA almost 40 years ago (am I in trouble for that?) and has never looked back. She refuses to visit us here in the Midwest before March, or after October. Unless we needed her, and then she's be here in about 4 hours.

I'll probably get in trouble for this one too, but, my mom has a dirty mind/mouth. She doesn't share it very often, and her filter between her brain and her mouth works much better than mine, but it's there. And it's quick.

is an amazing Grandmomma.

and many other things that will probably be blogged about at one point or another.

I love my mom. She's awesome. We share a sixth sense when it comes to phone calls. We are almost always holding the phone to call each other when the phone rings.

I know this post is kind of all over the place. I've been writing it for over an hour, because I've also been busy with being a mom to my kids.

So, as much as I'd like this post to be awe-inspiring and eloquent, just know that the sentiment is there, Mom, even if the intellect isn't.

2009-05-09T17:19:00.002-05:00

Conversations, and I use the word extremely loosely, heard in the truck today within a 20-minute span.

Sassafras: You know, when you put energy and pickles together, it really stinks!
(for the record, she was not talking about her brother Pickles, although that would probably stink too)
me: wow, what does it smell like?
Sass: (said like REALLY I should already know what it smells like) like rotten pickles!

Pickles: This watermelon is really a secret super hero with light sabers.

Bud: Attention! Attention! add about 15 more attentions to get the full effect...
me: WHAT?
Bud: I just wanted some attention.

Pickles: I love to act, but dancing on stage would make me feel very anxious.

Sassafras: If I could pick this family over, I don't think I'd want so many boys in it.

All the while, Hamster is da-na-na-ing the theme to Star Wars at the top of his voice.

as I sat typing this, Hamster wandered in with dog slobber on his head.
gotta go...

2009-05-07T19:55:00.003-05:00

So...

I'm nervous about taking more hours of school this summer. I'm already feeling melancholy for all the hours I won't get to play with my kids this summer. I will be sitting in a classroom, while they are playing outside with a nanny. Hopefully it won't screw them up too bad. If it does though, I'll be a doctor, so I'll be able to afford a really good psychologist for them.

I've decided to put up a flier at a local university in the education department to see if I can get an ed. major to be the nanny.

Here's the flier. I haven't put it up yet. I wanted to ask what y'all thought and get some feedback.

Wanted – Nanny

If you can keep 4, um, high-spirited children safe and happy…Ok, it’s not that they’re naughty, really. They just have a very creative perspective on authority. And they don’t literally climb the walls…usually. Oh, and there are two dogs. Well puppies really. Only one is a BIG puppy. And one is very small.

OK. So here’s the deal. My husband and I are both students. That means we never see each other. Somehow we ended up with 4 children. They don’t have school this summer, but we do. We need a nanny to make sure our kids don’t hurt anyone. If you think you can keep the police from being called to our house, and if you can keep the kids from eating only contraband chocolate, and if you can play MarioKart for hours on end, then you’re the one we want.

What: Nanny-ing

When: 7/14-8/21, from 7:30a.m.-1p.m. Mon-Thurs
and 7:30-10:30a.m. Fridays

Where: Our house

Why: for $150/wk

Who: Michelle ***-***-****

Fine Print: Must have references. Would prefer an Education Major with CPR training. Will begin interviews after Memorial Day. Apply at your own risk.

Did I leave anything out? Did I say anything I shouldn't have? Is it weird? Thanks (in advance) for the feedback. Y'all are awesome. Even y'all who don't comment. And just...you know...lurk.

2009-05-06T12:54:00.002-05:00

Weird News Wednesday

This one is actually more of a Disturbing News Wednesday article. Unless you like sculptures made of human hair. Which I don't, just so you know.

2009-05-05T16:37:00.002-05:00

What's up?

I haven't been around much. I've been rather busy.

I decided to go for the doctorate degree here at school, rather than just the technologist program. All y'all in GA don't need to worry though, because I will transfer to the school in ATL when James is done in about 2 yrs. I can start the program in November, after I finish 12 hrs of chemistry and 6 hrs of physics over the summer, along with 12 hrs of junior/senior level classes. Before you add them all up, I'll just tell you that will 30 credit hrs of classes in 5 months. That's actually less than James takes each trimester (4 mo.) here. I'm only taking 18 hrs right now, so that will add a bit more.

So, if this post is boring, it's just because my sense of humor is being slowly sucked from my brain as things like the entire lymph system is being shoved in. There's simply no room for funny in Anatomy and Physiology 2. Actually there is, but the professors prefer it if you don't make jokes about the cadavers in lab. Making references to forks and beef jerky are frowned upon when you're tracing the circulatory system in a dead body.

I also was out of town this past weekend. I went to Baltimore to a jewelry show with 3 of my moms (it's a southern thang), and 3 of my sisters. What? Michelle, I thought you only had 2 sisters? I do, one of those sisters is a soul sista. Here's something you may not realize about the South. Eventually everyone you know is related to you. By blood, or by 'adoption'. Your sisters-in-law become your sisters (unless you hate them, in that case, they remain your husband's sisters or your brother's wife), your nephews become your boys, or your close friends become your sisters/brothers, etc.

My kids have a Grandpa. He's actually my husband's sister's husband's father. Follow that? They also have Bubba (James' dad) and my dad (GrandDaddy), as well as various other dads who would claim me and James, and our kids as their grandkids.

I wonder if anyone has ever written a book trying to detail southern social customs... It would long I bet. And boring probably. Ok, never mind. How about you just keep reading this blog, and eventually I'll learn y'all a little sumpin sumpin.

See? I can't even keep a post running smoothly! I bet you were hoping to hear more about school, or the kids, or my trip to the East Coast to eat crabcakes, buy jewelry, see the ocean, and stay out till 2 in the morning wandering around, or something. Oh well!

2009-05-04T09:15:00.002-05:00

a weekend haiku

Jewelry galore
Ate crabcakes, met a pimp, and
Miss y'all already

2009-04-29T21:15:00.001-05:00

How to make grits.

For a friend...

First of all, I'll tell you what grits are.

GRITS are Girls Raised In The South

no, not really.

Grits are ground hominy. So they have a corn-mealy taste.

So Nobody asked what to cook with grits, and how to do it.

I told her it depended on what part of the country she was in. Charleston serves shrimp and grits. I'm from Atlanta, unless you're from GA, then I'm from Snellville. It's near Stone Mtn. We don't eat our grits with shrimp, but I have before. It is g0000-00000d! In Jaw-ja, we eat it as part of a full breakfast. Eggs, bacon, biscuits, hashbrowns, and grits, plus some fruit and juice, with plenty of butter and jam.

So buy some quick grits. The instant ones are OK, but if you want a full-on gritty experience, go for the quick ones.

A word of caution before you get started, NEVER make grits or bacon naked! Just take my word for it.

1. Boil as much water as you need for as many people will be eating, and make just a bit extra. If the 3 yr-old doesn't climb up after everyone else is done and eat the remaining grits with his hands, then there will be a little for the dogs. I use a stainless steel pot, so I fill it halfway with water.

2. Take the ridiculously small container of grits that they sell here in the Midwest, (apparently people don't buy bulk grits here) and add about a third of it. Using a whisk, keep that water going while you pour the grits in. You can always tell a Yankee from a true Southerner by their lumpy grits. Keep whisking it until it's a soupy consistency. Then switch over to a big spoon for stirrin'. You may want to use a smallish piece of tin foil to cover the pot to keep from getting gritty burns on your hands and arms.

3. When it gets close to being done, (you'll know because that's when the biscuits start to smell done too) turn off the burner. Let it sit a little while you clean off the table from last-night's dinner and set it for breakfast. Then add some butter, a little salt, white pepper if you're feeding pepperphobic kids or black pepper for grown-ups, and a few slices of cheese. Don't add these things while they're cooking. It has to be done after the grits are cooked thoroughly. Again, just trust me.

4. Make sure to let some water sit in your grits pot after you cook 'em and eat 'em. Unless you need some grit cement to patch some holes in the driveway. Patch quickly.

5. Should there be any leftovers, as blasphenous as that is, just throw them in yard at the dogs. This will provide after-breakfast entertainment.

I also have a confession to make. For a short while when I was about 11, I ate my grits with butter and sugar...

I know, I had to do the Tomahawk chop for 30 minutes for penance.

So that's howyadoit.

any questions?

2009-04-29T18:53:00.002-05:00

Just a heads-up

There are two "confirmed" cases of swine flu in IA.

I actually am kind of concerned about things like this. It does worry me that a virus could disrupt normal life so much. possibly anyway.

What would I do if there were cases round these parts? Would I keep the kids home from school? Would I stay home from school? James' and my schooling is awfully expensive to just take a week or three off.

We have enough food to last several months. Enough fuel to cook it. Not enough water.

Enough sanity? I don't have enough sanity now...

So I will wait until the govt tells me what to do.

Yeah right!

I will make my kids' health a priority. If I feels like it gets to the point where the flu is a dangerous threat, I will do what I need to do to protect them. I'd rather deal with bureaucratic issues after the fact, than spend several weeks camped out next to a hospital bed with my sick kid. Or worse...

So stay safe everybody.

No licking doorknobs, shopping cart handles, or toilet seats.
No kissing pigs.
No eating garbage.
No rubbing used tissues in your eyes.
No wiping your nose with others' toothbrushes.

got it?

good.

2009-04-27T21:45:00.000-05:00

short post

link to cool pics

you're welcome

2009-04-25T20:03:00.006-05:00

various kid pics for the Grandmomma*

Pickles' Pinewood Derby car that he proudly made himself. I didn't even gouge my palm this time helping him carve it!

Little felt hearts I made for this lady. OK, this one isn't about the kids, but I'm still a kid at heart. Get it, get it, get it? Heart?

Hamster with mess on his face. It's is usual MO. This was pre-Eugene's demise.

Bud's birthday party last year. I know, it's a little late, but I don't think my mom has seen it. Instead of party favors, I made all the kids these tie-dye shirts. Because we had the party at a overpriced crazy fun obnoxious filthy pizza/play place, I thought if all the kids were dressed alike, it would be easier to keep an eye on them all. It worked, and the kids still love their shirts.

The boys at one of the best places in the world. My uncle's camp deep in the PA woods.

I may have posted this picture before, but it's too cute not to put up here again. This is post-Eugene.

making paper mache balloon easter eggs

Hamster, with his loot from the Bunny

*I like to spell it GrandMama, but since she picked it for her name, she gets to spell it how she wants!

2009-04-23T20:11:00.002-05:00

Get your tin foil hat...

I lived in GA my entire life and I never heard of this. An American "Stone Henge" in northeastern GA. I will definitely have to go see this sometime. I even have a book called Weird Georgia, and I don't think it's in there. The book is packed, so I can't look it up right now. Mom? Ever heard of this?

Also, update on the Parks and Rec scholarship. They can't give me a break on what I've already signed up for. They can give me a credit for next time. There won't be a next time. I canceled Sass's and Pickles' acting class for the summer and asked for a refund.

Also, an update on the house we made an offer on. The bank accepted the offer and we're just waiting on some signatures. No word on a closing date yet.

Also, I ended several sentences with prepositions.

2009-04-23T00:30:00.000-05:00

You'll have fun whether you like it or not!

Just a word to the people in WhereIlive town. Don't take classes through the Parks and Rec dept. It used to be great. They had a wonderful director who worked with you on fees, kept you updated about goings-on, and just is a great person in general.

That changed last summer. They brought in somebody new. I don't think they gave the old director much notice about. I've asked her, and although she's very diplomatic about it, I can hear a touch of bitterness in her voice.

I had Bud signed up for a kindergarten readiness camp just before school started last year. They changed the date. I had some miscommunication with the manager, who was also new, about the change. When I showed up with a very excited Bud, I was told we missed the class by a week. Sad is having to tell your little boy that he can't go to class.

Well, what about a refund? Nope, sorry. So I told them I thought that was really sucky of them to ~~steal~~ refuse to refund the $80 fee for a class little Bud didn't even take.

Let Manager Lady talk to her manager...Ok, we can give you back half.

Next session...

Surely, when I signed Sass, Bud, and Pickles up for dance and acting things would be better. They were not. Bud literally grabbed the doorframe and screamed at a register almost beyond human hearing to keep from being taken to his class. He's 5. They do that sometimes.

Did I get a refund? No. I asked about it past the 2 week deadline for asking. My bad. I guess I'll go sell plasma, or a kidney, to make up the difference.

I gave them one last chance. I signed James and Rowlf up for dog obedience class. James just won't heel or sit when I tell him to, and it's getting on my nerves. Sass and Pickles were signed up for acting. Can I have a scholarship form please? Have I ever been told they have scholarships in the 2.5 yrs we've been taking classes? HA! I had to find it hidden on their website.

I filled out the form.

I get a call back. What classes would I like assistance for? Did you read the form, Manager lady?

We are students. James is legally blind. We do without so the kids can have enrichment activities. we are below the lowest on income levels for a family our size.How about any and all classes you can give me assistance on. Thanks.

Oh, well, since you've already paid, that will have to be applied to the next time you sign up.

Seriously?

There won't be a next time if you can't apply it to this time.

Let me talk to the ~~slick~~ new ~~sphincter muscle~~ director, and we'll call you back.

So anyway, if you're still reading this...

Find classes through other departments. The museums here offer great programs. There are countless private organizations that offer good classes too. There are also many many free things going on all year long at the libraries and parks.

Stay away from the Parks and Rec Dept. Unless you like being treated like an idiot, giving them money you don't have for something they don't give you, or you just generally like being taken advantage of.

2009-04-22T16:38:00.002-05:00

Weird News Wednesday

No theme today. Just weird stories. If you can find a theme in these stories, you win!

This one is about a guy who couldn't walk for 21 years. A spider bite sent him to the hospital. His leg spasmed while he was there. He walked out of the hospital. Somehow, the venom triggered his nerves. The last sentence in the story is kind of a downer though. And it doesn't make me want to kiss a spider in gratitude or anything. I will still smash them. I'm no Buddhist.

Would you trade lovin for some bacon? Chimps will trade "favors" for meat. Specifically, the females mate more often with males who share meat with them. I wonder if it has to be quality meat. Or if a slim-jim would work. I don't know about you, but I would be a high-class chimp. I wouldn't be giving it away for anything less than a filet mignon. Was that TMI?

Do you know what a Milky Way candy bar tastes like? Do you know what the Milky Way galaxy tastes like? Apparently it tastes like raspberries.

That's probably enough for this week.

Be good, watch out for deer, and y'all come back!

2009-04-20T17:43:00.002-05:00

Out of the mouths of puppets

I teach kids at church. 4-5 yr. olds. Last Sunday, I taught a lesson on the Word of Wisdom. If you don't feel like clicking on the link, it's a scripture passage relating to ways to keep your body healthy. I helped the kids make paper bag puppets. I drew things all over the board. Vegetables, fruit, a bicycle, a cigarette, a bottle of alcohol, a glass of water...you get the idea. I would point to each thing, and the puppets opened their mouths or closed them according to whether the thing was healthy or not.

What's this?
AN APPLE!
Is it good for you?
YES!
and the puppets, and the children, (and I) would open our mouths really wide.

What's this?
A CUP OF COFFEE!
Is it good for you?
ONLY FOR MOMS AND DADS! (this from a little girl named Ella)
uh, ok, well, it's not really good for moms and dads either, but ok...
and everyone closed their mouths.

What's this?
WE DON'T KNOW!
OK, well, it's alcohol. It's no good for you. It's makes you unhealthy. You want to close your pupp-
OH NO!!! MY PUPPET JUST DRANK ALCOHOL!!!!
What? Uh, your puppet can repent later. Moving on...

As I was typing this, I look over and Hamster has a pair of scissors to Rowlf's (our dog) tail.

I love kids.

2009-04-18T17:44:00.000-05:00

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy...

I might be a Redneck because:

1. I've traded a truckful of firewood for 2 goats
2. I've written "Happy No More Probation Day" on a cake in icing (It wasn't for James, Mom)
3. I've taken an off-roading ride to try to get labor started
4. I've hunted snipes
5. I shot a rifle before I was 10
6. I was pregnant at the same time as my mother-in-law (which also might just mean I'm Mormon)
7. I'm related to someone named LuAnn (who also has 3 personalized license plates with her name on it)
8. I have killed fire ant piles with gasoline, many times
9. I have burned Christmas trees in the backyard, many times
10. I have swum naked in a creek, as an adult
11. I have used an M-60 (not the gun, the firework) to clear out a toilet
12. I've set up lawn chairs to watch possible tornadoes
13. I've camped outside without a tent
14. I've driven my truck across rivers
15. I've tubed down rivers several times
16. At times, I crave Waffle House
17. I used to hang out a house belonging to a guy called Hoss
18. I've eaten kudzu in several different dishes
19. I used to wake up to the sound of roosters every morning
20. I've tasted moonshine

You may have heard of a couple of these before, and there are probably many other things I've forgotten, but that's all y'all get today.

For the record, my mother is NOT a redneck. She would probably want me to clarify that.

2009-04-17T22:53:00.001-05:00

Have you seen my missing blog post?

I posted one earlier today about snow bales in Idaho.

oh well...

2009-04-15T18:46:00.004-05:00

For Sale

One sister for sale!
One sister for sale!
One crying and spying young sister for sale!
I'm really not kidding,
So who'll start the bidding?
Do I hear a dollar?
A nickel?
A penny?
Oh, isn't there, isn't there, isn't there any
One kid who will buy this old sister for sale,
This crying and spying young sister for sale?
-Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

This poem kind of relates how Sassafras and I have been getting along lately. Who knew her teenage years would start the day she was born? She has always been a hand-ful, and sometimes two. Sometimes even an extra leg-ful, or whatever rope-I-can-grab-ful.

Sass used to wander away in a store, let's just say Walmart, and not look back. Before she was one. James or I would follow her at a safe distance and watch to see what she was doing. She would never turn around.

To say she is independent is an understatement.

She walked at 8 months. She stood up from the middle of the floor and took two steps.

She sang several songs before she was one. I'm not just using Mommy Memory, we have a recording of it.

She broke both of her arms, in two separate incidences, before she was 4 and a half. One required pins and left a 4 inch scar. I asked the Dr. if perhaps she had delicate bones. No, they're fine, says he, just don't let her climb to the top of the tree, or dance across the back of the couch, or jump off of the podium at church. Let her? LET her? Riiiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhht.

She has continued to make our lives interesting. She practices piano daily, without being asked, now that she no longer takes lessons. Did she practice while taking lessons? HA! Only when we duct-taped her to the piano bench.

Sass is our only brown-eyed child. They're not just brown though. They're deep and intense and they actually twinkle when she's happy, and smolder when she's furious.

She coins her own words. Yestertime, Having a tiny-little good time, and Barefooting (verb), among others, have firmly secured themselves in our family vocabulary.

She can sing really well, but usually chooses to create feline-opera noises at the top of her voice instead.

Sassafras has also always been concerned with making sure that everyone is included. It may have something to do with me, but she probably came that way. As a tiny girl, she would bring portions of cake/cookie/candies home to her brothers from a party or play date that only she was invited to.

She read the entire Harry Potter series before she turned 9.

When I read over this post, I'm reminded what a good, sweet, funny, intelligent person she is. Maybe I should just write down or mentally list all the things that make her so great more often. Maybe I won't sell her.

Although, the next time she is pissing me off with her nasty attitude, feel free to make me an offer...

2009-04-14T09:31:00.004-05:00

Pleasant Surprises

OK, the best surprise is that Eve is having a GIRL! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

The next couple of surprises are about the current president.

I don't feel like going into the terrible things about Obama's presidency right now, but I do want to highlight a couple things that I like.

A post had been simmering in my brain recently about the situation with the Somali pirates. I felt like the French had shown more gumption towards defending their people than we had. I thought we looked weak on the international stage if we couldn't (or wouldn't) rescue our countrymen. That changed when snipers took out 3 of the pirates as they raised a gun to the captain's back. Maybe France's response pushed Obama into a position where he couldn't try to talk to the pirates and he HAD to show some force, but either way, it ended in the best way possible. For us anyway. Good form, Mr. President.

In other news, Obama has opened some communications with Cuba. I think this is a good idea. The trade embargoes haven't been lifted, but families can now travel and talk to one another. I don't care if our govt differs on substantial issues with another country's govt, families should be together. I think this is a wonderful thing that has happened. Castro has done horrific things, and Obama should still take a stand against him politically, but allowing travel is a good thing.

The best news though, is that the Obamas got a dog! What? You don't care either?

So anyway, I didn't vote for Obama. I don't like a lot of his policies. I don't like how he's letting Pelosi run wild. I don't like how's he's handled the bailouts, or that there has been bailouts at all, but rather than be as vicious as possible about those things, I'm trying to be positive.

I probably won't be next time, so take it while you can get it............tomorrow may be a post about how Texas wants to be a sovereign body or how the pirates have taken 4 more ships in retaliation.

2009-04-13T10:53:00.003-05:00

Hello loyal reader,

I haven't posted in awhile. It wasn't to punish you or anything. (Ok, maybe a little) I've just been swamped. My brain has been filled with anatomical terms and the process by which x-ray machines work, and less with what to post here.

So I need to get a few Easter pics up for all the relatives. Contrary to what my mom thinks, I do actually feed Bud. He's just our skinny baby, that's all. (There I go labeling...)

We had a really lovely Easter Sunday. The kids woke us up at 6:30AM. We sent them back to their rooms to read a book or somethingIdon'tcarewhatyoudorightnowbecauseit'stooearlyforgoodnesssake!

At 8AM, we finally relented, since we needed to get up and go to church anyway. The Easter Bunny brought new Spring jammies, new crocs, and a new book, with a little bit of candy. He also left a note, telling the kids to remember what Easter is really all about, and to obey their parents. What a wise, wise rodent that Easter Bunny is.

I got to take a nap after church. I would pay to be able to take naps. I love sleep. One of my favorite places in the world is my bed. I'm getting a little tired just writing this...

Then we went to a friend's house for Easter dinner. She made a raspberry/lemon cake with homemade butter cream icing covered in almonds. Normally, I'll take chocolate anything and leave the lemon alone, but this was amazing!

Then we came home, applied new bandaids to various boo-boos, put the kids to bed, and James and I watched a movie.

What a nice peaceful day.

Now I have to go study, since I chose to hold my kids weekend, rather than memorize the entire ciruclatory system of the body. But Tuesday comes too quickly...

2009-04-09T16:02:00.002-05:00

We made colored eggs the other night. I'm trying to make the holiday last as long as possible. While theses pics aren't nearly the quality of Mama Howerton's, they'll do. Disregard the shirtless little boys, and be glad Sassafras didn't take her shirt off as well.

Hamster enjoying himself.

Pickles, making another pink egg, because 3 weren't enough.

Bud, using his fingers.

Pickles with one of his pink eggs.

Sass and her happy egg.

2009-04-07T08:49:00.002-05:00

One Bad Kid

When I was about 6 or 7, I went to daycare. My mom and dad worked full-time. I would go to school in the morning and be picked up by the daycare van in the afternoon. My sister and I (the youngest one came later) would wait for our parents to come pick us up around 5. Unfortunately for everyone involved, most of the people working at the daycare center made minimum wage and had virtually no certification or training. We actually went to a nice little place, but that's just the way daycare centers are.

(They try to call them preschools now, but we ALL know...)

I was, let's just say precocious, as a child. I was sassy, too smart for my own good, and in trouble a lot. I got into fist-fights on a weekly basis.

There was a particular incidence at the daycare that I remember very clearly. Another kid and I were alone in the corner of one of the rooms, obviously not being watched very closely. We started to write down all of the bad words we knew. They weren't spelled very well. I remember spelling f*** without the "c". How I knew that word at 7 is beyond me. My parents cussed, but infrequently and never that word.

So the little boy, whose name was Joe-Lee (remember I grew up in GA, and everyone is related to, or knows, someone with a Lee added to the end) and I ended up with a pretty impressive list. It was all very funny and enlightening until one of the workers caught us. She asked us what we were doing. Uh...I don't have a list of cuss words under my fanny, No Ma'am! If we would show her the list, she promised, she'd never show it to anyone. We just had to stop doing it.

Well, of course if she promised...

She broke that promise. I don't know if my parents remember looking at it, but eventually all the adults in the center, including the owner had seen it.

This taught me a few things:
1. Not to trust adults. This not trusting adults/authority figures last through college until I was an adult.
2. Never leave a paper trail.
3. That I was a bad kid.

Now, I'm not sure if this was a defining incident for #3. There were a lot of things I did in my childhood that judging by the adults' reactions, made me think I was bad. I genuinely thought I was a horrible kid. Thinking that about myself made me even worse. But I was thinking about this in relation to my own kids. How do they view themselves? What labels have they given themselves? Have I given them any labels? I've tried to be conscious of this, but what little things have slipped through? Sass told me recently that I yell too much. This kind of shocked me, since it seems like James yells a lot more than I do. Maybe it's that I'm just with them a lot more often, so I have more of an opportunity. Either way, if my child thinks I yell at them too often, then I do.

So that's my goal this week: Less labeling, less yelling.

2009-04-04T14:45:00.002-05:00

I found this coupon for Joann's here.

Use it this weekend to fulfill your crafting desires.

That is all.

2009-04-02T20:41:00.004-05:00

'Cause I be bored, Matey, I be writing this whole post in the language of pirates, ARRRRR!

So oy be taken me kids to school t'day fer some brain-swabbing. We be gettin up fair early round these ports. They be a bit, might grouchy in the morn, an I ha' t'say I canna blame em, me hearty.

Me wee Hamster tole me he do not wanna get up ou' the snug-ly sheets. Yarr, I say to th' lad! Hoist your main sail and get a move on!

Do we be havin t' go t' the house o' learnin agin, Ma?, they do be pleadin! Aye, I say. There be power in th' booty of knowledge, ya lily-livered sprogs!

Then off me ownself true. To school I be goin to, for how else to be earnin th' fine dubloons when we be graduating?

After a sittin through many a long hour of land-lubbers a teachin, it be time to pirate me wee tiny mateys agin. I be pullin the Jolly Roger up to the port, an I do see the lil wench Sassafras a'ter Bud a'lookin to keel haul him! Shiver me timbers, I do be sayin!

He be a no good, dirty Scallywag!, she do declare. I be offerin em all the greatest grandest grog for snack an they be a quietin down.

We be havin a fine good peaceful eve here on th furner. I got pieces o eight in me bibs, I aint be makin no one walk th plank or be sendin them to Davy Jones locker, an I be a happy lass!

Thar be a grand good day in th life of a buccaneer lass, me hearty...

YO-HO-HO!