I haven't forgotten

8 years ago today

It's a beautiful day. I have an almost 2-yr old and a 3-month old. I work at my sister-in-law's laundromat a little, babysit a little, sell a little artwork, and deliver pizzas on Friday and Saturday nights. James and I had just bought our first house 6 months before. James is at work. Life is good. I worry about the kids getting baths, getting enough sleep, about going to the farmers' market later today. I'm checking my email and the news sites that I read while periodically nursing Pickles and letting Sassafras watch a movie.

Boortz
"Folks, I don't know if this is some kind of horrible accident, but it looks as though a plane has flown into one of the World Trade Center towers."

What? I think I've heard of the Twin Towers before. No reason to think a whole lot about it. But I'd like to get another perspective so I head over to Drudge to check it out.

"It looks as though America is the victim of a terrorist attack."

I turn off Sass's movie and turn on the news. I start to feel sick as I watch another plane hit the second tower. Did that really just happen? I truly have never seen anything like that in my life.

I turn on the radio as well. I try to call James. He was in the middle of a massage.

I tried to call my mom, my sister, my dad. I try desperately to reach my family as I watch fellow Americans dying on live T.V. I'm not physically anywhere near the actual destruction but I can almost feel the heat from the fires, almost smell the smoke, almost hear the screams. I cling to my baby, and kiss his soft fat milk-sticky cheeks over and over. He laughs while I weep. Sass asks why I cry. I call a friend who lives a few miles from Ground Zero. Somehow I get through when her parents cannot. She's OK, but shaken to the core.

James calls me back. He had walked past a T.V. reporting the destruction, but had no idea of the utter devastation. He couldn't leave work and I couldn't think of a good reason to have him come home. Tell the boss your wife needs a hug that lasts the rest of her life, James, I'm sure he'll understand.

All I can think of is everyone in the buildings praying, crying, calling, wishing, hoping...dying.

Now

I still cry when I think of this day. This day that has lasted 8 years and will continue for as long as soldiers are still fighting, as long as families who lost loved ones are still missing a piece of their hearts, as long as the rest of us remember.

I can't say what the proper course of action could have or should have been. I didn't set out to make this a political post.

I just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten.