RIP GrandDad

My grandfather passed away last night. He was ready to go, but it is still very sad. I'm very sad for my GrandNorma, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle. A few weeks ago, he was seeing angels. I think my Grandma, who died in '87, was waiting for him. I'll blog again soon. Just wanted to let everyone know...

Happy Birthday to Eve and Hamster today. Eve is 30 and Hamster is 3. I thinks it's great that my last baby and one of my best friends get to share a birthday. It's almost as cool as Pickles sharing my birthday. Cool present, huh?

So we made it to GA. It was 850 miles of me driving exclusively. It's one of those things you have to do when you're married to a blind guy.

It was an 850 mile trip that took 16 hours. To put it into perspective, it's a trip that takes me 12 hours when I do it alone. So it took a long time.

This is because I was traveling with:
My husband, who is grouchy after 2 hours in the car, but is also good at making balloon animals when needed.
My 4 kids, who don't like each other after 4 hours, but are amazing at coming up with creative names (which always include 'butt') to call each other,
2 snakes, who were very quiet and didn't argue at all,
and 1 dog, who wasn't quiet and kept putting nose prints on everything.

Did I mention this was in a minivan? I rented a mini because my Suburban has nearly 300K miles on it. Fat Tony, what we call it when it's naughty, has to last 3 more years. 2 years for school and for one year after. Don't look at me like that - like your car doesn't have a name?

In the first 2 hours, we saw 7 cars in the ditch on the side of the highway. After we got a few hours farther south though, the roads were ice free and it wasn't snowing. Those first couple hours are what really slowed us down. I drove 11 hours the first day/night. And 5 today. I'm OK with that though, because where I am, everyone is complaining about this freezing 40 degree weather, but I'm loving how "warm" it is. Sick, no?

And I am so glad to be here. With family. And old and close friends. It may not always be relaxing or sane, but it's home. Just don't be surprised though, if I come back with my accent intact. It's always a little stronger for a few days when I've been steeping in it for awhile.

Yee-haw!

3 grits

These bailouts are leaving me cold!

A reason to buy Ford. (and not Chrysler or GM) I'm not a big fan of F(ound) O(n the) R(oadside) D(ead). This is because I have watched numerous friends deal with ridiculous problems that I never experienced with my Toyota. I also had a Lincoln, which is just a Ford with more buttons and a bigger price tag. But I can say that I like a company that ISN'T near bankruptcy. That's the kind of company I like to support.

Now the Bush is discussing the possibility of bailing out cheese factories. The American economy would surely collapse if the cheese industry were to go under. We would have mass riots in Wisconsin most definitely. Except they'd be very polite riots what with all the Scandinavian ancestry. Although there may be a few Viking throwback berserkers. OK, maybe Bush isn't going to bailout the cheese industry, but that's how I feel to wake up every day to read about some new industry getting a bailout. The articles say today that the bailout for Big Auto may just be loans. Loans my ass. There is no way that this will only be a loan. I'd love a loan like that. The best kind of loan is the kind you don't have to pay back. Maybe the automakers would work harder to get money from the consumers. Like in the form of selling more of their merchandise.

Maybe I'm being cold-hearted. Nah, I'm just cold-toed. And cold-eared. And cold-nosed. Have y'all been reading the news about all the weather? We actually haven't been inundated with the storms. What we're getting is pretty typical for our corner of the Midwest. We've gotten plenty of snow and we got ice pellets last night and early this morning. The kids got out of school today, but that also means they're missing their "holiday" parties. So we're probably going to do a mini party here. We'll make brownies, popcorn, and apple cider and watch movies. So cozy :)

But I won't be missing the predicted 5 degree high on Monday here. Brrrr...shiver, shiver! You know whyI won't be missing it? Cause I'll be wearing flip flops. And no coat. Even if it's 50 degrees where I am, I'll still be wearing flip flops. Cause Christmas is meant to be spent wearing a t-shirt. I'm just sayin'. I would like to know if Super L has snow. Since she was so sassy about the storms we were having. HA!

gotta go make brownies for my perfect children...

1 grit

OK, I was gonna do a political post, but this story was cooler. It discusses the possibilty that we used to have more than one moon.

So I was feeling a little riled up politically lately, but it sort of dampens my Christmas spirit and I'm just not that interested right now. It's hard to be conspiratorial when the entire house smells like hard candy cooling on the stove. I had a clerk at Walmart the other day ask me if I had noticed that most people were having a hard time getting into Christmas this year. I'm not having a hard time, but I guess a Walmart clerk would be in a better position to take an informal sociological survey about attitudes.

(I'm actually sincere about this - I do realize that the sentence I just wrote could go either way with my personality)

I hope that all of you are in a happy happy holiday type of mood, because there's so many other things to be depressed about right now.

I was thinking the other day that my kids have never done Secret Santa shopping at their schools. When I was a kid, they would fill tables with all kids* of junk that we could buy for our family members. It was really nice to be given a few dollars and be able to pick out gifts for my sisters and parents. I don't know how many mini driver sets or blue rabbits' feet my dad needed, but the sentiment was nice. It's pretty sad that the kids have to celebrate holiday parties instead of making gifts at school. PC blah, blah, blah. Yeah I get that, but don't most religions have some tradition of gift giving this time of year?

Mur Chri'mus from the L******s

OK, gotta run. Lots of stuff to do...

*my editor made me a aware of a typographical error - it should be KINDS, not kids, of junk

I really want to write a political post, but I have to pull my thoughts together a little more. This is just a warning that you may or may not want to read the next one. Sort of a forecast. Snow and political posts may fall tomorrow. This post is just 1 grit, and is just a few cutsie pie apple buns pumby umby umpkins kiddie type stories.

Hamster was eating pomegranate seeds the other day. He had a little bowl of them. When he wandered back into the kitchen without his bowl. "Hamster, where's your pomegranate seeds?" says I. "My Obama seeds?" asked my sweet little rodent. Obama seeds? Super L would probably argue that he's a Dem already, but I think it's amazing that an almost 3-year-old already has politics seeping into his psyche. So now pomegranate seeds will forever be Obama seeds round here. Even Midwestern fruit is to the left of center.

Bud called Pickles a butt crack old fool the other day. After I came back from the bathroom where I could laugh privately, I told him that was very rude indeed.

Pickles thinks in comic book-ese. He illustrates sounds and actions with loud made-up emphasis. I flicked the bottom of a donut (the store spells it that way) box that Sassafras was licking. Pickles yelled "THWOCK!" That's really what it sounded like too! He likes to yell things like "POW!" as he feints a punch at his brother. He's always sort of been like that though. Look for his name in the credits in about 20 years, as he will be a big time director someday. He and Sassafras used to role play with toys. Pickles would always direct the play and tell Sass what to say and what was going to happen. He would insert asides and stage directions. "Now I'm going to walk through the door. walk, walk, walk." Now I'm shrinking. shriiiiiiiiink."


and finally a Sassafras story. I'm not really sure where she picked this up, I've only seen it portrayed in Super Troopers, but she's been saying meow in the middle of talking about other things. "How was your day meow?" "Meow y'all get over here!" That's all I can stand to write about her right now, cause her attitude really been pissing me off lately. I call her Sassafras for a very good reason.

Y'all come back meow, ya hear?

MORE things about the Midwest I didn't know - 1 grit

1. Do NOT pour water on your windshield if it's covered in ice. Yes, I know that this works in GA. Here, if it's hot water, it will crack the windshield. If it's cold water, it will just refreeze. Stop the Insanity! Here's a trick - put cardboard over your windshield the night before. Unless it will be snow mixed with rain. Then you will just end up with a box/ice/windshield sandwich.

2. People think it's OK to run red lights. And the cars coming from the other way EXPECT it. They wait for those extra 3 people to run it. So if you're new here, get used to it. Or at least get insurance.

3. There are a ton of parks here! We've been to tiny towns in Wisconsin that had a park right in the middle of town. The bigger "cities" have them too. You can even walk to them, since there are sidewalks everywhere. It's awesome! The South could definitely learn something about this. C'mon GA, pull it together.

4. Wisconsin is beautiful. There is glacial country that makes me glad to be a live. The lakes are beautiful. Along the river is beautiful. There are also lots of caves. We took the kids camping near a cave where they do boat rides through. It was great. Our kids love caves. We try to take them through at least one a year. We've been through 3 this year. I know that isn't a lot, but hopefully it's fostering a love they can cultivate later on their own. I've heard the east side of WI isn't as nice, but I probably won't make it over there anyway. And WI is one of the leading states for organic farms. Yeah, I didn't know that either. OK, that's my plug for WI. I don't want to take too much time talking about it since I'm not getting paid or anything.

That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure I'll add a few things as I go...

1 grit - sorry this reads like a school assignment, it sort of was, but I changed it a little for y'all

I just thought it was a very cool idea


Using Free Energy to Power Mobile Devices

Recently Intel has been researching the possibility of harnessing free energy from the environment, in the form of body heat or light from the sun. They would do this with the use of tiny sensors. They are also looking into using the energy produced from the user’s movements on the track ball. The applications could be used to allow users of mobile devices to harvest energy without having to rely on batteries or electricity. Intel is also developing this technology to power neural implants that would be able to monitor body functions. These findings could also be sent wirelessly. I believe that this could also be used for other implants such as cochlear implants. The implications of this could be very far reaching. There is a worldwide market for technology that is self-contained and self-powered. It would especially be useful in developing countries. Mobile medical units could become much more portable, and be able to help many more people, if they did not have to rely on conventional power. It would also be very helpful to use in pumps that could power wells. Although this type of sensor is not on the market yet, the research continues. The article states that it will be a while before the sensors will be powerful enough to run small devices such as cell phones, and even longer before there will be sensors for larger items.

Free Association, that's right, I said FREE - 2 grits

What natural law governs the fact that a kid will always choose the place you JUST cleaned to vomit all over? Pickles, who is hardly ever sick btw, ran into the bathroom and threw up less than an hour after I had made everything sparkly.

I took Sassafras and her Girl Scout troop to an retirement home yesterday. They sang songs to the residents and visited a little. The girls were very cute and got the older people involved. Everyone really enjoyed the singalong. The home was filled with Christmasy type stuff. But there was one decoration I could not figure out. When we first walked in, Santa's head was sitting on a table. Just his head. Decapitated and smiling and welcoming us to a happy happy singalong.

Who wants to drive, without switching off, with 4 kids, a cranky husband, a van full of gifts, 2 hamsters, 2 snakes, and a dog for 14 hours? Not you? Me neither. But alas, that is my fate. Coming soon to a GA near you.

Have I mentioned how great it is to have a deep freezer? How did I go so long without one? I no longer have to play freezer tetris every time I go shopping.

I feel very behind this year. I haven't even taken a picture of the kids, much less gotten the cards out that said pics are supposed to be in. I didn't get any decorations out until last week. Maybe I'll just leave them up until the middle of January to make up for it. I need to pack this week. All the gifts I haven't shipped already anyway. I need to do all the laundry. After I finish rewashing everything that Pickles regurgitated on.

Plus I need to get several assignments turned in. Say a little prayer for me this week. Not necessarily that I get everything done, but just that I don't go crazy trying. And I can't wait to see all my favorites in GA soooooooooooooooooooon!

Things I have learned since moving to the Midwest - 1 Grit

1. Scarves actually have a purpose. They are not just a winter accessory. They are not just for looking pretty. There are also actual ways to tie a scarf and if you don't tie it here, it will be blown away in a Midwestern gust.

2. The ground is not stable here for several months out of the year. In GA, the ground does not suddenly betray you and send you flying. Here, even if it doesn't look particularly slippery, the ice will take you down. It will TAKE YOU DOWN!

3. People here are not cold. They are polite. They think they are minding their own business. If you are from the South though, you will think they are being cold. The difference is that they are being rudely polite. Southerners are politely rude. These midwesterners just don't get it, bless their hearts.

4. The weather can change drastically without a whole lot of warning. Tomorrow is supposed to be 56 degrees and Monday is supposed to be 15. Niiiiice...

5. A lot of people that live here are actually from here.

6. They really do have the best corn. And Wisconsin really does have the best cheese. Although I cannot handle the squeak from the curds.

7. There are a LOT of Democrats here. Be careful about expressing opposing views. Or just rant on your blog instead.

8. Americans are pretty much the same everywhere. Most of us are good most of the time.

Posting Level: 2 grits

see profile for grittiness posting levels

A joke by Sassafras

A guy went to the doctor and said,
"I think my butt is broken. I fell down pretty hard and now there's a crack in it."

She's so clever.

My grandmother used to say, "Aren't you just so clever?" She would say this when we were extra sassy and she didn't want to say we were being a smartass. She was nice like that.

I told Sassafras her joke was funny but not to tell it around grown-ups. Was that bad? I kind of think that kids need to have things that are quasi-secrets from adults. I don't want my kids to think I'm all over them all the time. That they can have their space, but that I'll be there for them if they need me.

I know an amazing mom who raised her kids alone. They were really wild as teenagers. Oh you had a wild period when you were a teenager? Well multiply that by 100 and these kids were that bad. Not mean, they just made terrible choices. OK, so I was there too sometimes, but I'm not judging, just trying to explain. So anyway, they were very naughty. And this mom just loved them. That's all she could do. She gave them a place to live, she gave them food, she gave them a good example of how to treat others, she gave them her testimony, and she gave them love. So they were naughty for several years. But these kids have all grown up to be really amazing people. Productive, intelligent, caring people.

I was also talking to a friend about their little girl who wouldn't take off her favorite dress for a week straight. Now if she was my little girl, I would have wrestled the dress off her and thrown her into a tub. Or maybe into the tub WITH the dress on. But what would that have proven? That I didn't respect her or her body. And that I was bigger so that made me the boss. Not such a good thing to teach a kid.

So what I'm trying to say is that I really think the best way to raise kids is with love and respect. These two moms both have kids that make them crazy sometimes. And that's OK. Those kids KNOW their moms love them. No matter what.

Don't worry MOM, you're my favorite. I just know you don't really like being spotlighted. But just so everyone knows, my mom is awesome. She always works really hard to let us know she loves us. Even though I'm the favorite...

*side note*
the moon will be physically closer to the earth tonight than it usually is. So the moon will look bigger and brighter. And the tides will be higher than normal. So don't go camping on the beach tonight in CA or you may get your jammies wet.

This post is safe for Nobody.

Nobody has asked for a warning system that allows her to avoid conspiracy theory posts, scary political posts, and/or posts about zombie robots. If you too would like to avoid those particular types of posts, then look for the Nobo warning label.

You know what fun is? Fun is spending an hour and a half at Sam's, gathering almost $700 worth of groceries. Then standing in line while you get OMG looks from fellow customers and the brave ones asking how long all that will last. If I'm feeling extra sassy, I tell them I'm just topping off the underground stash since we just built a new bunker. Or that it only lasts 3 days. Or that it lasts a week, but I have 12 kids. OK, so it really lasts a month as long as I refresh with fresh fruits and veggies once a week.

What's even more fun is loading everything into the buggy and looking for my food stamps card* and not finding it. So then I use my debit card. Then I go to my truck and find the food stamp card on the floor of the truck. Then I push the buggy full of $700 worth of groceries back into the store to ask for a refund, so I can use the f.s. card. And being told I would have to get my money back in cash, and then go back through the line. With $700 worth of groceries.

At this point the shopping trip had been two hours long already.

So I did it. I went back through the line and unloaded all the groceries back onto the belt. And the poor cashier loaded everything back into the buggy. And I put it all into my truck, took it home, unloaded it into the house, and then loaded it all into the cabinets.

Call ucmama for a good time...

*before you judge me for the food stamps thing, remember that Dr. Husband is blind, we've paid into the system for over ten years each, we are paying over $100,000 to the state of IA to get our degrees, and we will be paying into the system when we are done with school until we die. So if you must judge, then at least you are now sufficiently edemucated about our sichee-ashun.

On a side note, I should really be watching the Hamster a little more closely instead of blogging right now. I'm putting him to sleep (Ha-Ha) and he told me was going to go "get some chissues to bow his nose". He just climbed back up next to me with his arms absolutely full of toilet paper.

uh, I should probably go take care of this...

It's Uncanny

Have you ever heard of the uncanny valley? It's a theory proposed by several different psychologists and researchers claiming that the more a robot looks and life-like, people will increasingly respond in a positive way until it becomes so life-like that we respond with a sudden revulsion. In other words, the more human the robot, the more we hate it. This theory can also be applied to prosthetics, but zombies would be at the bottom of the valley. Think of it as a bell curve that elevates with the robot's increasing human likeness, only to fall sharply as it approaches near "human-ness". Zombies are at the low point of the curve. The theory is based on the idea that we have empathy for robots when the differences between them and humans are stark, but as the gap narrows, it creeps us the hell out.

I would have to agree with this theory. I can't even watch Shawn of the Dead and it's a stinkin spoof. Robots do creep me out. I hated the movie AI. Not just because it had Haley Joel Osmond in it either. The whole mutant higher order robots at the end just gives me the heebie-jeebies. On the other hand, the kids' movie Robots was just goofy. I also love C-3PO from Star Wars.

What got me on this rant today is this story. This guy built himself a wifey-type robot. To do his, ahem, chores. That's not all I think she does for him. And this creeps me out even more.

Have you ever seen Lars and the Real Girl? Fabulous movie, by the way. I never thought a love story between a guy and sex doll could make me cry, but it did. But the doll, if you can call it that, was just too real looking.

I love technology. I love that we humans have created machines to help us make our lives more efficient. I wouldn't want to live without my washing machine, microwave, furnace, or computer. But I don't want any of my appliances to talk to me. Or cop an attitude. If that's the case, I'd rather just have a dinosaur under the counter for a garbage disposal, a la the Flinstones.

What do you think?

This is what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown...

I was putting Hamster to sleep last night. Really I was playing with him while James kept shushing us. I wanted to make sure, in his sweet little head, that he knew what Christmas was about.
me: Christmas is coming!
Hamster: no mo dah-purs affer Cwi-mus. (We're serious about potty training soon)
me: Right, no diapers. But also it's about Jesus' birthday.
Hamster: Jeeshus?
me: uh huh. Jesus. It's a celebration about His birthday.
Hamster: and open MY pwesunts!

yeah, Hamster, open your presents. Who told my almost 3-year old that he opens presents? Oh yeah, the 5-year old. Thanks Bud.

I'm feeling a little lazy, so I'm reposting something I blogged about on myspace before. Since I'm pretty sure none of y'all have read that blog, excepting maybe Eve, it'll be fresh to you.

I was born on a last quarter moon.
James was born on a waxing crescent.
Sassafras was born on waxing gibbous. And Sept is the month for Harvest moons.
Pickles was also born on a waxing gibbous.
Bud was born on a waning crescent.
Hamster was born on waning gibbous.

and another one...

So I've been doing a lot of genealogical research lately. My kids are almost exclusively of German/British stock. I did find a few interesting people: Salvator Muscoe was an Italian master stone mason. I also found just a couple Swiss ancestors as well. I did not, however, find the elusive Native American ancestor that all Southerners seem to claim. This is tracing back at least two hundred years on each line. I find this research fascinating and addicting, and hopefully I'll be able to eventually travel and get better proof on some of the people that seem to prove a little more elusive.
GO DEAD FOLKS!

So there you go...

Because I haven't put enough stuff up today, here's a video of an elephant painting
Thanks Beccah! This is really amazing

Shameless Sisterly Promotion

My sister is a massage therapist. She went to a real school. She is licensed. And she is awesome. So,

IF you are in the metro ATL area, and
IF you want an amazing massage, and
IF you don't want to pay through the nose (or any other part of your body), and
IF you would like to get in touch with her, go here and send her a message. She will get right back to you. Just mention that you saw this here to get a good deal on a really great massage.

IF you are some kind of (yucky) freak, go somewhere else. She doesn't do that kind of massage. If you're just a regular freak, that's OK.

Wasting time

I'm sitting here in computer class. I'm supposed to be listening, but there isn't really anything to listen to yet. I'm almost always late to this class. It's a 7:30 class. The kids can't really be at school before then. So, I usually have to drop them off slightly early and they sit around in the lobby waiting to be able to go to the cafeteria. Anyway, today I got to school on time. And we are just sitting here. Waiting for the teacher to start. The one day I'm here on time and I didn't really need to be.

It wasn't too cold this morning. Maybe 20 degrees. Oh no! Am I getting used to this ridiculous weather? Someone told me that people live longer here in the cold weather. I wonder why they would want to...

Shameless self promotion
I sell Mary Kay. I'm not a makeup hound. But I do like the products that I use. I sell it to make a (very) small amount of money, and so that I can get stuff at a discount. If you like Mary Kay products, would appreciate free shipping (to the cont. U.S.), and would also appreciate a discount on Mary Kay, give me a call/email/text/carrier pigeon, etc.

That being said,

I would like to recommend to the hot dog people that they promptly get schooled by the cake people. Duncan Hines could seriously teach Oscar Meyer a thing or two. There is always exactly enough icing for 24 cupcakes or a cake. The frosting people really know how to do it.

*PollyAnna warning*

I'm about to play the glad game, so if you've just eaten sugar, this post may put you into a diabetic coma. (Sorry too any readers who actually are in a coma, no offense)

My truck decided to stop making gasoline go to the engine when I pushed the pedal. In short, the pedal went floppy.

BUT,
I'm glad I was going downhill at the time. Can you imagine how nasty that could have been for a half-ton vehicle on ice?
I'm glad it was the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal. I don't even want to imagine that one.
I'm glad I was on my way to pick up my kids at my friend's house. She usually works on Wednesdays, so otherwise I would have been screwed. AND, we had a warm safe place to wait.
I'm glad I get AAA every Easter from my mother. Thanks again Mom.
I'm glad Hamster was at his awesome preschool so I didn't have to worry about where he was either.
I'm glad the tow-truck driver had the most awesome mullet I've ever seen. It's an image I will hold onto forever, so I can think about it in inappropriate situations and chuckle.
I'm glad said friend was willing to give me a ride to pick up Hamster, AND take me to Hertz to get a rental car.
I'm glad the Hertz guy gave me a discount on top of the AAA discount.
I'm glad the car I got seats 6, since most cars seat 5, and vans are too expensive to rent for just a few days at a time.
I'm glad I have two other friends who immediately came over to examine the problem
I'm glad it had stopped snowing before they came over.
I'm glad the problem was just the tiny clamp on the throttle cable and not a $2000 issue.

I'm glad I'm in bed next to my sweet sweet Bud while he falls asleep on my shoulder.

This is to try to balance all the "depressing" posts I've been doing...

ran-dumb

Anyone have any size 4 jazz shoes lying (laying?) around? Sassy needs some for her class and I don't even know where to look. Amazon is my best bet I'm thinkin.

The Hamster got an attitude for Christmas. I'm pretty sure I gave it to him, but I wasn't paying attention and it sort of snuck up on me. I told him he was short. Well, he is. And he shot his little pointer finger at me and said "NO! You short!" I totally deserved it too.

Did I mention he's a month shy of 3? My kids don't really hit the terrible two's. They come terrible. Then when they hit 3, it's like the terrible two's, just with a bigger vocabulary.

Anyone else like kefir? Hyvee has some really good vanilla. It's in the health food section. Also, don't look for the Just Strawberries right now, I already cleaned them out.

I tried making my own kefir a few years ago. I bought the little kefir grains. I got about 3 gallons out of them and then they just stopped working. I guess I didn't "feed" them enough or something. One of my friends makes her own yogurt. She's very cool.

Someone gave us almost half a deer, already processed into sausages, steaks, and ground meat. For free. That's karma. For the half goat we gave away a few years back.

Did you know that if you only feed your baby ball pythons once a week, they will try to eat the same mouse at the same time and become a horribly twisted up ball of snakes? And then when you untangle them as gently as possible, they will still hang on until you very carefully work their little mouths off. What? More than you EVER wanted to know about feeding snakes?

I would like to know how the Girl Scouts Organization can sleep at night knowing that their iron-on patches are in no way iron-on.

I would also like to know why my husband thinks it's necessary to watch StrongBad and/or The Brak Show in stereo. Surely insane, mind-warping cartoons can be enjoyed through the television's speakers.

I'm almost completely done Christmas shopping. I just have to buy stocking stuffers for my sister. My mom and sisters are doing a stocking exchange this year. We like (small) surprises. Big surprises are not really welcomed round our families. Unless you want to surprise me with lots and lots of money. That'd be pretty great.

This blog is like a box of chocolates. You never know if your chocolate is gonna be politically-flavored, kid-flavored, or just plain nougat. If it's nougat, you can keep it. I hate those.

Remember yesterday? Hopefully you do, and hopefully you read my blog on politics yesterday too, cause I love me some fans. Anyway, I should have remembered to be careful what I wished for, because today the Pentagon has announced that they want to deploy 20,000 troops inside the U.S. This is obviously to help local law enforcement agencies in case of terrorist/nuclear attacks.

What? You don't believe that? You think that maybe the govt wants to be even more involved in the daily lives of Americans? Yeah, so do I. Good thing we agree. And if you don't agree, then leave a comment or write your own blog. Blogs should be like bellybuttons - everyone should have one.

*warning, boring links ahead*
The only thing wrong with this though, is that it's against the law for the military to be involved in local enforcement. According to the Posse Comitatus Act, a 130-year-old fed'l law that restricts the military's role in domestic law enforcement, unless it's expressly authorized by the Constitution or an Act of Congress. So Bush, our lame duck pres., is especially fond of getting rid of this particular Act. After Hurricane Katrina, he had it signed into law that the military could take over in New Orleans following the disaster. That one was repealed entirely later on.

So where I'm going with this is here --> What's to stop this from eventually becoming a country where the military 'aids' local law enforcement in traffic stops?

Can you show me your papers ma'am? Why did you file the serial numbers off your gun ma'am? Can you please explain to us ma'am, why you have an extensive underground cache of food storage, automatic weapons, and chocolate?

OK, I promise the next few posts will be about my kids (for the Grandmama) or weird stuff. Probably both.

I'm giving myself subliminal messages I think. For some reason, I really need to go buy a Snickers bar...

Updates

I'm still sick.
It's still snowing.
My kids are NOT sick - yay!
In less than 3 weeks, something really great happens.
I didn't do too poorly on my Psych exam I took today.
I let James open his Christmas present from me. Honestly, I've got to start waiting until the last minute to buy that man his gifts, because I can never wait.
I was able to talk to GrandDad about a week ago, and he didn't sound too terrible.
I made some cute/funny little creatures out of Sculpey to give to some friends now and more to give away at Christmas time.

You know, I almost always forget to take pictures of my creations. Whether it's a painting, a mural, a quilt, or even something little like 12 days of Christmas cats (yeah, I really did), I'm always forgetting to take pictures. It's only slightly maddening. BUT, if I've given you something and you have the time, please take a picture and send it to me. Thanks in advance.

another political post

go ahead and click away if you want, it won't hurt my feelings, I just thought it fair to warn you.

Is anybody else just the least bit worried about how chummy Russia and Venezuela are lately? There is a Russian navel fleet off the coast of Venezuela right now, and Monday they are set to do exercises together. Yes, I realize that Venezuela is tiny, and yes I realize that Chavez is a crazy dictator. BUT, there are plenty of other countries out there that would back an invasion into the U.S.

Russia is huge and powerful. It's government does not like ours. It never has. You can't convince me that Russia and the U.S. have ever been friends. Venezuela is small, but it has a lot of money from oil, or so it claims, and is in a strategic position to attack us. There are a lot of people in the world who would like to see us weakened and there are some Russian politicians who have actually said this very thing out loud.

So that's a problem. There are too many people in our country who won't fight. Who will welcome a new regime. Some may argue that we just did that when we elected Obama.

So what's the solution? I would like to see stronger borders. There are too many holes in our national borders. Let's stop letting our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers be killed halfway around the world. Let's bring them back and secure our own home. We can't save the world, but we can save our fellow Americans. I have faith that The United States of America will not fall into ruin. There is so much that can be written about this subject, but if you're really still reading this post, I won't bore you further.

But who really cares about national security and sovereignty when you can get a genetic test to determine which sport your kid will be best at!

BTW all my GA peeps - it's snowing here and it won't stop till April. Let me know if you want me to ship some to you.

Thanks a lot Dr. Husband,

I'm sick now too. So I hope you're happy after all that coughing and what not.

Of course, if I had not stayed at a friend's house past midnight talking, and then stayed up till two talking to Dr. Husband, I probably would be feeling a lot better too. Oh yeah, I also got up this morning at 3:15 to go shopping with another friend. It was only a little crazy. We stood in line for almost an hour and then when the store opened, people who had been waiting in the warm cars stampeded the entrance. But we got what we came for. Did you read this story about a man being trampled to death and a woman suffering a miscarriage during a Black Friday sale? People were killed so shoppers could save a few bucks. Tell me how this celebrates the birth of Christ? I hope that Wii game is worth spending eternity in Hell...

On a (much) lighter note, we had a really great time at our 2 Thanksgiving celebrations. Thursday was spent enjoying 10 pies. There was other stuff too, but we went for the pies. We also planned out our Black Friday plan of battle. And I must say that the kids, all 14 of them, argued only a handful of times and dealt with the problems themselves. Today we went to another friend's house. Today I went for the turkey. Although your turkey was still the tastiest Big Jay. You're an awesome briner.

I'll do an "I'm thankful list" later. Right now the only thing I'm thankful for is Kleenex and hot tea.

convo on the ride home
me: Sassafras, one day you're going to be old.
Sassy: what?
Pickles: and then she'll like Pokemon?
me: yeah, all old guys like Pokemon
Sassy: I won't be a guy!
Pickles: I think you already have a mustache
Sassy: I don't have a mustache!
Pickles: There's a 5th grader at school who has a mustache, but everyone says it's chocolate milk
Bud: I have a mustache!

Big Brother is watching you...so stop picking your nose...I said stop!

go check this story out. I tend to lean toward conspiracy theories. I never let my baby out of my presence when I gave birth in the hospital. I don't give out personal info. I try to use cash as often as possible so there is less tracking of spending. And so on. I question others' motives for a lot of things. And this kind of story sort of supports my 1984 like theory about govt having WAY too much info on us. The govt plans on using us against each other to keep us in line. This will disguised as keeping us safe. It will, in actuality, be an even greater invasion into our private lives. What will you do to keep your family's information safe? How much do you post about yourself on your blog? on Facebook? On Myspace? How much do you give out to track your behavior? My uncle has a cell phone with GPS. What's to stop the company that provides the cell service, or the company that provides the GPS service, or the company that made the satellite used to track his location, from having a virtual trail of his activity?

What a minute! What about the criminals? Don't we want to know where they are? Shouldn't the govt know where the bad guys are? Who's going to keep us safe from them? each other? or ourselves? Oh my! Please rescue me Mr. Obama! I know it didn't start with him, but he's the current holder of the Office of the President Elect. WHAT?!? There is no such office? He created it to further his image? Well I never!


So go hide under the covers so the bad guys don't get you. Don't worry, Big Brother will take care of you forever...

OK. I'm usually pretty easy going. By that I mean I usually wait till you are gone to be annoyed with you. It makes the world a nicer place. I mean I truly can be around most people, even annoying ones, and be pretty diplomatic about it. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you had a bad day. Maybe you have a tummy ache. Maybe you're stupid. I don't know. But tapping your damn foot through an A&P lecture while you also talk to your neighbor, in a class of 8 people mind you, is obnoxious. Blood cell mating guy is also tapping foot guy. So the associate program I'm in is not a graduate program, I get that. But some of the people in my undergrad classes will be going on to the doctorate level. And I think doctors, and future doctors, should be at least a little considerate of other people around them. Of course, if you think blood cells mate, and you're 30, maybe you won't be making it through the program. I'm just sayin...

It also could have been the fact that Dr. Husband is still sick. Methinks it's times for a blessing for that guy, maybe like last week would have been good. Sassafras was sick all weekend too. So she went to school with me today. Nothing is more pleasurable than taking a sick elementary age kid with you to college. And when I say nothing, I really mean being in labor. Or having a cavity filled.

She wasn't really that naughty. She was just whiny cause she didn't feel good. She did make me proud to be her mom at one point though. There is a little lounge for the undergraduate students in the hall where my classes are. She was chillin in there while I had a class across the hall. There were a few students hanging around in there too. Halfway through my class she opens the door and comes over to me. I smile at the teacher and explain she's not feeling well while simultaneously giving Sassy the mom look. You know, the one where your head is tilted down ever so slightly and your eyebrows are raised. Daggers aren't shooting from your eyes yet, but they're in the forecast. She was definitely told to stay in that little room. "Mom", she whispers. "They were saying inappropriate things in there, so I left."

Wow. My kid realized she was not in a good situation and removed herself to go somewhere safe. To her mom. I must be doing something right. Later she asked me what FYI meant. She thought maybe it was initials for a bad-word phrase.

My name is Michelle, and I'm a hair dye-aholic.
"Hi, Michelle!"
I let my hair be its natural color for a year and a half. Previously, I hadn't let my hair be natural for over ten years. I never varied too much from my original color, but just the same, I dyed it. So the other night I couldn't stand the itch any longer. I bought some dye. I felt like going a little lighter (usually I go a little darker or a little redder), so I got Dark Golden Blonde. I sat there for the obligatory 25 minutes, eyes burning, anticipating how beautiful my hair would be. I rinsed it, combed it, and waited for it dry so I could really see how it would look. I was sitting at the computer while I waited. Sassafras came downstairs and said; "I thought you were going to dye your hair." I told her I did. James came in right after and asked the same thing. So apparently I spent $8 to dye my hair virtually the same color it already was.

I got a new calling at church today. I'm a Sunbeams teacher. That means I teach the kids who turn/turned 4 this year. It will be the class that Hamster is in starting in January. I actually team-teach with another lady at church. But she doesn't teach as often. She's missing something socially, so she doesn't really get sarcasm or other references that I might find hilarious. Honestly though, sarcasm doesn't have much of a place in a room full of 4-year olds. They are very sweet little people, as well as frighteningly bright. And the other teacher is very kind and has a strong testimony of the gospel. The kids love her and I'm sure I will learn to also. I'm also grateful I get to stay with the kids, because they have way less issues than the grown-ups. Ain't nothing you can't cure with a lollipop and a hug.

Do you have Christmas fever yet? I've had it since August. I pretty much orchestrate the entire Christmas ordeal round these parts. Dr. Husband puts in his suggestions, and then I go crazy finding everything. I like unique gits. I like to get them and I like to give them. Like really hard to find things. Like the denim boots with tiny pockets and zippers on the side I had to have when I was 8. Thanks Mom! So Santa is bringing magic wands for my kids for Christmas. I thought it would be pretty cool to get them ones with lights in the ends and maybe made sounds, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted ones that actually looked real. So I went to etsy.com, a very cool site btw, and found them ones that are carved with leather on the hilts. Do wands have hilts? I bought them from a seller who really gets into character and had me halfway believing they really are magic. The kids will be thrilled. So now I just have to rationalize buying magic wands to celebrate the birth of Christ.

This is Harvey the kitten. Actually I just called him Harvey, cause he's two-faced...get it? get it? get it?

This is on several news sites, so I'm kind of serving you leftovers, but if you haven't seen it yet, then here ya go.


So the little poll that I was running is over now. I had 2 votes for politics, 3 votes for kids and family, and 5 votes for random stuff. Well, that's about what the content is of this blog already, although I haven't done any computations, so we'll just keep the format as is. I'm pretty new to the world of blogs. I've been reading them for years, but just started writing at the end of August. So I wasn't really sure where I'd be going with this blog, but I kind of like it so far. It's like a slice of my brain. Like a tiny slice of brain pie. I'm glad you all find it so delicious!

This is my 50th post. I'm not doing anything cool like telling you 50 things about myself - I'll save that for my 100th post or something. I'll tell you one cool thing though. One time I traded a pick-up truck full of fire wood for 2 big billy goats. I got the goats and got rid of firewood I didn't need. I didn't really need the goats either, but we used them to clear away underbrush. One of the goats had his horns and one didn't. The one with the horns looked really mean but he was actually the nicer one. I just think the bald one was jealous. He had horn envy. What happened to the goats you ask? I'll tell you later...

Well GrandDad is being moved to a rehab center today. GrandNorma is optomistic, and if she is, then we should be too.

James is almost done being sick.

I didn't have a migraine today.

So things are looking a little brighter today. Even though it's overcast and there is snow falling from the sky. But the kids will be excited. There are some really awesome hills near here that are great for sledding. And you can get pretty good sleds here even at Walmart. In GA, we usually just used garbage can lids or laundry baskets. The poor kids just used cardboard pieces. Or nothing. But the snow only lasts for a couple days down there, so you gotta take what you get.

Somebody asked me what the UC was for in ucmama. That's my blogger handle for all you unedumacated folks. It stands for unassisted childbirth. Dr. Husband delivered Bud at home with just the two of us there. And we did it on purpose. That's usually the next question. I have to say that it was a choice experience. There is nothing else like it. It was beautiful and magical and not in the least scary. That's usually the question after the on purpose question. Was it scary? I felt very prepared and we also lived less than 5 miles from 2 different hospitals, even though I was sure we weren't going to need them. I put a lot of prayer, thought, and preparation into giving birth at home. It takes a lot of acceptance of responsibilty to do it and it's not for very many people. But I wouldn't trade that experience for the anything. If you want to know anything else about it, like the technical details, feel free to email me. If you have something nasty to say about it, let me preempitvely say mind your own business. Actually, I would probaly say something much nastier...

I would like to tell Eve that I hope she feels better very soon. This is not a nice time of year to be sick and have two sick babies. But when you let your kids eat off the floor...
Don't worry, I won't tell anyone :)

Also, a shout out to Nobody for calling me and asking if I needed help with anything and then coming over and bringing Big J and cleaning for an hour straight. J is into cleaning supplies and he had the best stuff ever. He got juice, ink, dog pee, and verious other nastiness out of the carpet, as well as making my kitchen sparkly. That is so totally what I needed and you are very good friends - Thanks.

I especially appreciated having a clean kitchen because I had ten people in it last night making candles for an Achievement Girls activity last night. 7 girls from church, 3 moms, and 1 friend of Sassy's were gathered into my kitchen as I taught them how to pour and dip candles. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad it only lasted an hour. Any moms whose kid was here last night - your daughter behaved beautifully and everything was fine. I hope she had a good time.

So the goats...
We slaughtered one of them. Well, we had a friend do it. I was a little too squemish to do it. In hindsight, he may have been a little too jazzed about it. It was the hornless one. The meat was nasty. Our friend kept the rocky mountain oysters and gave us some of the other parts. I tried to hide it in stew, but we ended up just feeding it to the dogs. It's OK though, since I only paid some firewood for him. The horny goat was sold. I got $30 for him. Somebody in Carrollton cam and picked him up. Apparently it was goat-buying day for this guy, because he had a whole trailor full.

Ima go get an adjustment in a bit. Of the spinal variety rather than for my attitude. Having good friends and family has adjusted that pretty well I think.

I want to let my family know that I love them. I'm thinking about all of you. I pray for strength for my mom, my aunt, my uncle, and my GrandNorma. All of us grandkids/cousins are trying to keep in touch with each other and stay updated. We love you.

I'm pretty stressed. James was sick all weekend, so I was doing everything alone. I know that some women do everything alone all the time, but I don't. So it was kind of hard. It's also difficult not to get angry at James when he's sick. I know that's not nice, but I don't really get accused of being nice. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that when a wife is sick, she doesn't get to rest. She still has to take care of children, run errands, and do everything she has to do when she's not sick. Husbands, however, go to bed. And stay in bed till they feel better. They usually don't even have to get themselves water! Except for James. He has to get his own water.

Also, I had a migraine last night. When I get a migraine, it is a true one. With an aura that looks like colored pixels or crystals. And tingly toes. And extreme sensitivity to light and sound. And brain pounding pain that lasts for about 6-8 hours. I can't function when I have a migraine. I can't drive, I can't talk on the phone, I can't cook, I can't do anything but cry and/or throw up. So I took some migraine meds as soon as I started seeing the pixels. I don't usually do anything stronger than ibuprofin. James asked for robutussin when he was sick and we didn't even have any of that. But I will take anything I need to take not to have a migraine. The bad thing is though, that the meds make me very tired. So Boy Scouts was out. I laid on the couch and dozed while Sassafras yelled at, I mean watched, her brothers. The meds made the aura and pain go away. But I still felt pretty incoherent. And the day after is still pretty bad too.

So anyway, this post is so not funny. I'm terribly sorry and will try to remedy that problem in the future.

Oh wait! How bout this? I locked my keys in my locker at school today. With the key to the lock on my locker on the key ring. That was sitting in my purse. Inside my locker. So I went to campus security and asked for a coat hanger. Cause my mom taught me how to break into a house with a credit card, and my dad taught me to break into a car with a hanger. Anyway, I took the coat hanger and made a little hook at the end. Then, while James held his tiny blue LED to a hole in the side of the locker, I fished. I'm fishing for about 10 minutes and I can't see them in my purse. And I came to an awesome realization! I had put the keys in an odd pocket of my bookbag and I had had them all along... But should I ever need to get them out of a locked locker, I'm sure I'll be prepared :)

Apologies to my mother for making it sound like I come from a families of gypsies who taught all the kids to break and enter, pick pockets, etc. We are so not gypsies...

GrandDad is a little more stable today. Still not great, but small victories are good too. My aunt is down in Fl with him and my GrandNorma, giving him lots of love. I sent flowers today. They were mostly for GrandNorma, since GrandDad appreciates the thought, but I picked pink cause Norma's a pink kind of lady.

So, I kind of need to write/talk about a few things that don't have to do with anyone's health. Just to keep mentally healthy, I need to find some laughter.

The other day, in the lab at school, we were looking at blood cells under the microscope. One clueless guy in my class, who is planning on being a doctor, asked how the cells mated. Blood cells! The teacher said, "uhhh...they're blood cells". "Yeah, but how do they reproduce?", asked Clueless Guy.

Also this week, I bought 60 rolls of toilet paper, 30 rolls of paper towels, 500 Ziploc sandwich bags, 500 gallon size, and 500 quart size bags for $183.10 and that included shipping from Amazon. It was from an office supply store, so I bought it in bulk. Also, it was name brand, because good toilet paper is a luxury I refuse to compromise on. Just so you know, that toilet paper is a 2-month supply, the paper towels will last about 4.5 months, and the bags will last about a year. Woo-hoo for me! It was even cheaper than Sam's and I got it delivered to my house.

I'm helping a friend paint her house. In return, which is unnecessary because I would have helped her paint for free but this sweetens the deal, she's trading me a deep freezer. she picked good colors, so it's even enjoyable. It really is hard to paint things if the color is bad.

I am pretty to sensitive to color. Being an artist, that's understandable I guess. You wanna know something weird about me though? I'm synaesthetic. I can "see" certain sounds. Like a high-pitched shriek from a kid in the backseat of a car is is sort of greenish-yellow. Or a door slamming is black and white tiny checks. Or several other combos that make my life interesting. It usually needs to be an unexpected noise. It's not like the whole world turns a different color, I just sort of see it behind my eyes inside my brain. Like I'm not weird enough right? But I've read a few things on it, and I listened to a radio program about it as well. My version is pretty mild. Some people have extreme cases of color-number type of things going on. I think it has to do with connections in the brain that are open in infants that usually close in adults. In infants, all the senses act together. If that continued into adulthood, we would go crazy trying to interpret all the input. So we separate it. Well in some people, these pathway stay open. Like in me. Cool, huh?

Well, I think this post is long enough...

I'm feeling sad today.

My grandfather, who taught me (sometimes through my mother) to do things like mix up words to be silly. Or to make up stories. Or to make virtually everything funny. To be a member of the look-em-up club. All you had to do to be in the club was to always be curious and look things up if you didn't know them. Granddad, who calls himself the silverback (as in gorilla) of our family. Who started learning Spanish in his 70's. Who researched our genealogy back to the early 1600's. My granddad is sick.

My granddad is in the hospital and probably won't leave it. He's suffering from numerous ailments as he starts his 85th year. We're sort of preparing for the end of his life. And I'm feeling kind of raw about it. I don't like funerals. I especially don't like viewings, but the funerals are bad too. But I'll go, because I think my mom and my sisters will need me there.

We need each other in times of grief. We need to be sad with other people who understand how much we love each other. All of the nice things that people say and do are needed too, but only family and close friends know you well enough to not say anything at all. So from more than 800 miles away, I'm trying to be supportive of my family and deal with everything here as well as preparing myself emotionally.

But he's still here for now, and who knows what may be. Just say a little prayer for my family and especially my step-grandmother, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle.

Mud and Donkey jokes

It's that beautiful time that comes twice a year here, where everything is covered in mud. It's between the Oh, aren't the leaves pretty stage that lasts for an hour and Oh, isn't the snow pretty stage. The pretty snow stage lasts about 2 weeks. After that the snow is black and gets pushed into giant piles in grocery store parking lots, and it ain't so pretty anymore. So the mud arrives, blown in on great grey* clouds. The clouds hang around to make sure the humans are irritated sufficiently by the mud, then they move on to bigger and better mudholes like Chicago, or like the top halves of Indiana and Ohio. So while the clouds quietly smirk, every pair of shoes we own gets covered in a thick black mud that dries to a color not unlike the clouds. And the trees tend to look a little grey too. And the houses. And the grass that has died. And the leaves that were pretty. And the... what? you get it? Moving on then.

So I'm getting into the groove of school again. It's strange what 10 years of experience outside of college will do for a gal. 12 semester hours as an 18 year-old freshman used to do me in, but I'm taking 17 hours now and the hardest class I have is bookkeeping. That may be because I'm kind of that's good enough type person. A big idea rather than a detail person, if you will. Or even if you won't.

But I really like going to school now. The buildings are really old and so are a lot of the teachers, but the curriculum is interesting. I was going to test out of some of the classes, but I decided to stay in them. They're fun and it'll be good to brush up on a few things.

I gotta go feed the kiddos before an activity tonight, but I leave you with a joke that Bud made up.

How do you get a donkey on the roof? With a shoe.
Yeah, not really that funny, but he likes it.

*grey - I like this spelling better. The e looks flatter than the a in the American spelling and has more of a sense of the actual color. Sort of squashed...


And if you haven't voted about the content of this blog yet, do it now! Or don't, cause I'll just keep blogging about whatever I want anyway. Not that I don't value your opinion dear reader, or maybe I really don't value your opinion and I'm just being narcissistic! I'll guess you'll never know...unless I blog about. This is getting too ridiculous even for me - BYE!

I went to the mall the other day to pick out a pretty dress for a party I had to attend for Dr. Husband's school. This is not familiar territory for me so I made to sure to stop and get a mall field guide before I went in. I needed to know if there were any newly discovered creatures since I was a teenager. I was expecting the usual skanks and whathaveyou. This is the Midwest, so there were plenty of mullety types walking around too. I went too late to see the fit seniors powerwalking.


One species I totally should have been wary of was the kiosk skin care lady. When you visit the mall as infrequently as I do, you just forget that there's snake oil salespeople at every kiosk. So she did her thing and wasted my time for about 10 minutes. Then when she was trying to grab my wallet and push cleansers down my throat, I yelled "Look at that girl's skin over there!" She turned around and I pulled my arm away and sort of ran away. I was pretty proud of myself for outwitting the kiosk lady without having to chew my arm off.

What I wasn't expecting though, was the guy sitting at the manicure station next to me. I only get my nails done once or twice a year, so I kind of look forward to the experience. Apparently the guy next to me was really into it. He was finishing up as I was getting started. I don't have a problem with guys getting their nails did, because nasty craggy fingers are kind of gross. I wouldn't reccommend french tips to most guys though.

So anyway, this guy looked like a delivery person of some kind or other. Not that there's anything wrong with that. He's waiting for his clear polish to dry and he starts making faces at himself in the mirror that covers the wall behind the manicurists. Like cutesy faces. He wrinkled his nose up. And made coy little smiles to himself. And puckered his lips ever so slightly. Then he turned to the lady doing my nails and said "I feel so beautiful!"

There was nothing in the field guide covering that one.

So I'm not having such a great day today and I am taking kids to school and there's lots of yelling going on and there's just not a whole lot of love flying around like there is most mornings. It's one of those mornings where you just want to keep all your kids in bed with you and have all-day snuggle fest but if you really did that everyone would just end up crazy by the end of the day. I get the older kids off to school and I'm on the way to Hamster's school. I'm thinking about all the things I have to do, and all the ways things are not going according to my plans, and getting more than a little upset. And from the backseat comes the softest 2 yr-old voice singing I am a Child of God. I have to tell you I almost lost it. But since I didn't want to take Hamster into school and have the sweet sweet teachers there worry about why I was sobbing, I held it together. But it was really hard to do.

I think we get the kids we do for a reason. For our particular personalities and situations. My kids innately know just when to run up and give me a hug, or put their hand on my cheek, or sing a funny (or sweet) song. My heart would not be complete without them. Thank you Heavenly Father for the spirits you sent into my life.

I was homesick a while back and really missing GA and most especially my friends and family. But you know what? I have some really great friends here too. And some really great friends that have moved away from here and whom I miss very much. I still talk to them, but I can't just stop by their house or call and invite them to IHOP at 10PM. And other friends who don't write blogs (yet). And some who do but I'm not sure if they'd appreciate a link. Does that cover everyone? But they are awesome. Midwest is pretty good sometimes. I must say that the education here is better than in the South. I'm sure you can tell by my writing - HA! And the corn is so good, I have dreams about it.

I'm really glad we moved our family here. We have really grown together as our own little unit. We needed to be somewhere on our own, even though my mom misses her babies. I'm sure you understand, and if you don't there's something wrong with you. Well sorry, somebody had to tell you. Also, your zipper is down.

Anyway, just from the 2 votes so far on my little poll up there on the right, I know what you really stopped by for.

So here ya go. More hilariosity from out here in corn-ville.

On the way out the door, Pickles was supposed to grab his piano books. In the car I asked him if he had his books. "Yeah, I got my books, but I ain't got no talent!" So I told him to go back into the house to get it...

Bud said he wanted to be a robot when he grew up. And go to the moon. I told him he could be whatever he wanted to be, but that being a robot meant he would have to wear metal undies. He said he'd have to think about that.

And this is a story that happened a while ago, but some of y'all haven't heard it. We were riding home from school when Bud wailed from the back seat, "Moooooooooommmm! I keep NOT brushing my teeth and they're still there. I want the tooth fairy to come!"

We're teaching Hamster to count, he gets to 11 and then gets caught in the 8, 9, 10, 11, 8, 9, 10, 11 loop that frequently catches wee ones. So he started being funny and whenever I say 1, he says 4. And then 2, he says 4. And 3, he says 4. And on and on. And then he gets to where he's laughing so hard, he can't say it anymore. I love him and all his curly mop-top fluffiness!

I pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America
And to the Republic, for which it stands
One nation, under God
Through liberty and justice for all
Amen

I think are some positive aspects of the results of the election. I think there are far too many negative blogs/news stories out there, and even a few of my posts have been kind of down. So here are a few of my thoughts on this historic occasion.

1. Black Americans can now feel like their vote matters. I think a lot of white Americans underestimate the amount of negative vibes, for lack of a better brain...er, word, that black folks feel sometimes. Lemme 'splain. Lots of white folks say, yeah, history sucked, but move forward and stop whining. Most white folks do NOT think the white "race" is superior to the black "race." That is my experience anyway, and unless you are new to my blog, you know I grew up in the South. There was a lot of prejudice from both sides down there, but not as much actual racism. I'm not gonna deny that there is racism in the South, from both sides, but it's more about assuming generalizations. K, so hopefully having a black pres will help everyone feel more connected as Americans and stop looking at things through race colored glasses. And as a bonus, maybe Jesse Jackson would be out of a job. I may be totally off on my presumptions about how black folks see it, but I think I may be on to something.

2. Next point. We will most likely NOT have a terrorist attack on our soil in the next 4 years. That is actually quite comforting to me, since I have lurved ones living in some big cities. And I don't want any Americans dying. I still get teary-eyed when I think about the Twin Towers coming down. I think with Obama being pres, other countries around the world will be more willng to hate us less. I have many other thoughts on this too, but this is a positive blog, remember?

3. I'm REALLY looking forward to exploration in alternative fueling options. I think our dependence on foreign oil is assinine. We are intelligent enough to come up with something else and now is the time. We have, relatively, endless amounts of free resources in wind and sun. Why the crap aren't we putting more research into that rather than subsidizing farmers to grow soil sapping, expensive, polluting corn ethanol. Obviously paying farmers to grow corn does not gaurantee votes, huh W?

I've got to run Sassafras to church, but I wanted to get some thoughts down. I've been kind of depressed today thinking about the issues that I'm not in favor of, i.e. national healthcare and I needed to do something to perk myself up. So this is what I came up with. Hope you likey.

I was sorely disappointed by the political atmosphere here in Iowa. It was overwhelmingly Democrat in nature, which in itself doesn't bother me. I've actually had some good conversations with Dems before, in fact a lot of my friends are Dem. and they were able to explain their convictions. Let me reiterate before we go on that I self-identify as a Libertarian/Constitutionalist.

As I was saying, my Dem friends are almost all highly intelligent thoughtful people who genuinely want to help others. And can support their decisions. What gets me, and there are far more Dems who think like this, is that so many vote Dem because they want handouts. There is someone who we have known since we started school here who voted Obama. For some reason she told my kids, and they said don't you realize that he wants to raise taxes? She said, yeah, but only for people who make more than 250K.

Hey You!!! You are in a doctorate program! How much money do you think you are going to make in your practice? And the people who think they are not going to have to pay for their own gas or mortages anymore. Sadly they are right. They probably will get they shit paid fo. I can write dialect like that, I got south of Atlanta cred.

So I decided I would vote for Brak. Not Barack. Brak.

<


I think if cartoon characters ran the world, things would probably make a lot more sense.

Sorry, this is all I got tonight. My first day of school kind of wiped me out. Congratulations to Mrs. Raz on her new baby. We love y'all!

I just sat through orientation for school today. For the latest associates degree I will be working on. It was pretty boring, what with all the reps for different organizations/associations, etc. We had to sit though a sexual harassment talk. Whew! I'm glad I listened though, because know I know grabbing the instructor's nuts is a BAD idea. But we did get free breakfast AND lunch! And a free pen that I have already lost. I'm going to be able to have a schedule that lets me get the kids to and from school. Which will be awesome except for Wednesdays when they get out an hour early. There will only be 5 other people in my program. This can be good and bad. More personal attention is usually good, but only having 5 different personalities may get a little old. I don't mean my own 5 personalities, I'm good with them....I just mean the others in the classes. Luckily I can test out of a couple classes. I may even be able to test out of 3 of the 7 classes. How great would that be?

Ok, a couple of kid funnies and then I have to go make dinner...
Hamster's favorite Thomas train is Percy. Only he doesn't say Percy, he says it like a 2 yr-old usually says it. So Pickles laughed "He said pussy! Isn't that so funny? I can't believe he said it that way - that's hilarious!" So while I'm trying to figure out which kid at school taught Pickles that word, he says "you know, like pussy cat!" Oh good, Pickles is still innocent. But we've got to get Hamster from shouting Percy at any store that carries Thomas products, because I'm getting strange looks from other parents. Good thing this happens to other parents too, right Nobody?
You don't mind if I link to you huh? Ok, cool. Also, the kids think it is outrageously funny to call each other blubber nuggets. Or to ask if those particular nuggets are for dinner.

BTW, Nobody is my newest friend here and she's awesome! Woo-hoo for Nobody! And she's watching my kids tomorrow because for some reason, my kids don't have school. But Dr. Husband ;P and I do. So don't beat them too much Nobody. And I don't usually leave them in closet for more than 2 hours for misbehaving. If anyone from DFCS is reading this, I'm kidding...
mostly...

at the church trunk-or-treat
with Sassafras handing out candy,
Hamster, Pickles, and Bud in the back

friendly anonymous trick-or-treater
in front




My o-blog-atory Halloween post

Bud was a care bear. He asked to be a ninja turtle, so since I'm such an awesome mom, I bought him one as soon as costumes went on sale. Like in August. So he could play dress up and get plenty of wear out of it. Then the dog chewed about an inch square out of the shell, and Bud wouldn't wear it anymore. It was ruined he said. Luckily, every year my wonderful mother and sisters patrol the after-Halloween costume sales for Christmas presents to fill our dress-up bucket. A couple years ago, Mom bought Bud a care-bear costume. It's blue, his flavorite, and has a little heart on the butt. It's also too small for Bud now. But it was in the dress-up bucket Thursday when we went trick-or-treating. And it was dirty, and Bud wouldn't wear anything else. Not the awesome leopard, not the skelly-bones, not even the moccasins and fleece tunic I made Pickles last year.

So I tried to get a good shot of the black socks (he wears black socks cause they're cool and easy to tell apart from Pickles' red socks) in the pictures. You can see the black socks because the care bear costume goes halfway to his knees. And halfway to his elbows. The legs are sort of pulled down in the pic. When he was walking, they would really ride up.

But he was happy. Which is good, because it annoys me when kids are crying in places they're supposed to be having fun. Just ask Pickles, who has had a melt-down at the zoo, the library, the movies, a hockey game, 2 aquriums, and any museum we have ever visited. We love him, bless his heart, he's just sensitive. So we were out with our care bear, our tiny ninja, our big ninja, and our kid who pulled whatever he could find from the dress-up bucket and called himself a wild thing. See, Pickles had a ninja costume too when we started, but could not, and still can't, find it.

BTW, Pickles wears red socks because when he asked for them, I looked everywhere for the stupid things. The only red socks that are sold for kids are athletic. Pickles wanted crew, like he was used to wearing. So I bought a bottle of Rit dye and boiled a pack of socks for an hour so they would be sure to be red and not pink.

While we were out trick-or-treating, a tiny Batman ran up to Bud and said "You're a care bear. I hate care bears," and ran off. So me, being a mama bear who totally had Bud's back, yelled "YEAH? WELL HE HAS MORE CANDY THAN YOU!" I wanted to push him down and steal his candy for totally dissing my cute little care bear, but his mama bear was standing there too, and you don't mess with corn-fed Midwestern women.

Also, this is how much I paid for gas yesterday. Too bad it was polluted with corn ethanol, but this IS Iowa.

In honor of Halloween,
and in honor of Jay
I am reviewing Easter
also because my kids asked me about this very subject on the way to school today
and I'm reviewing it from a Western Christian viewpoint, because that's the one that's easiest for me without getting into all kinds of philosophical yoga positions

Easter = a Christian holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus

Easter also = another holiday that has been secularized and commercialized

I like Easter because it moves around on the calendar. It does this because it is a movable feast and is based on the lunisolar calendar, in which "months" are lunar but years are solar. Our calendar that we use now, the Gregorian one, is a solar calendar. Research that later if you want, but we are talking Easter here.

huh? OK, so the months in a lunisolar year are about 29-30 days long. This only gives you a year with about 364 days, so there has to be a leap year every so often. So like the Hebrew calendar (dating from 3761 BC) that has 354 days, every 3 years or so, you add an extra month.

Isn't this what we have now? No, I already answered that.

Why is Easter based on that? I'm glad you asked that. (Just play along here - I'm aware that I'm asking and answering my own questions) Easter was originally a "pagan" holiday. Pagan meaning not Christian. So when it was taken over (we'll get to this in a minute), it was, for a while, celebrated on different days of the week. We all know (don't pretend you don't) now that it's celebrated on Sunday. An Easter rule, implemented in the Middle Ages, is observed on the Sunday after the first full moon on or after the day of the vernal equinox. When it says full moon though, it means the Paschal full moon, which is different from the astronomical full moon. Man Jay, I think I picked the hardest holiday evah! Paschal comes from Pascha which translates from which translates from which translates from Passover.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, so the Paschal full moon pretty much lands on the 14th or 15th of a lunar month. Again, research it further if you're interested. Anyhoo, all this makes Easter fall between March 22 and April 25. It falls most often on April 19th - go figger.

We gonna talk about the pagan part again now. So Easter comes from Eastre/Eostre/Oestre, which comes from an account written by the Venerable Bede, known to his contemporaries as The Dude, written in ca. 700. The common school of thought says that Eostre comes from the word for Spring. She was goddess of/for spring/fertility/dawn/birth. There were also several other gods/goddesses who had stories of virgin births/resurrections that may have been precursors to Jesus' life. Boy/that's/a/lot/of/slashes/!/

I choose to believe that any stories or myths or legends were where prophecies of Jesus had been twisted in the retelling AND listening of them. Like a horrible karmic game of Telephone. It's something I've given a lot of thought to and have come to an educated conclusion. So if have thoughts that disagree with MY thoughts of Jesus and Christianity, you can put them up your rabbit hole. Unless you can state them in a thought provoking and intelligent manner. Clear? Moving on.

What? Easter? Oh yeah, OK.
So where did all the cute bunnies laying eggs and whatnot come from? Well what comes from eggs, I mean besides platypuses (or is it platypi?)? Eggs symbolize birth. They also, along with the hare, symbolized the Norse goddess Ostara and fertility. It could also be that the rabbit is associated with the moon in ancient cultures. And I also heard that Jesus could jump pretty good, and that He sort of looked like a bunny. Not funny? I'm going to hell? In an Easter basket?

Easter lilies? looks like reproductive organs

Sunrise service? welcoming the sun god on the morning after the pagan celebration of the vernal equinox

With all silliness aside (Yes, I can do that occasionally), Easter is a celebration, in it's current Christian form, of the rebirth of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It celebrates and reminds that we, WE, have the potential for eternal life. It reminds that God cannot be overcome by mortal forces and reminds that in Jesus there is life.

I'm sure I didn't come anywhere near the depths of the origin, symbolism, or meaning of this very interesting holiday. Thanks for the suggestion Jay.

I'll leave you a quote from the oft-quoted C.S. Lewis. It's not neccessarily about Easter, but it's a good one nonetheless.

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

These are the people in my neighborhood. They're the people that you meet when you're walking down the street. They're the people in my neigh - bor - hood.

Crazy old guy who dresses like a lady. Who pushes a shopping cart and has long curly gray hair. Who wears heels, skirts, and tank tops. Who, thankfully, keeps his/her issues to him/herself.

Dirty Indian (self professed). Who wears a straw hat with no top to it, for air conditioning he says. Who walks his 3 dogs on a mix of belts/chains/and leashes. And tells my kids weird stories. But doesn't really bother me too much, since he never propositions them and is very kind.

Various can collecting urban outdoorsmen. Who ask me for change. And I always answer with, "Do you think I'd live in this neighborhood if I had money?"

We also have a shopping cart that is on a different corner every morning. I've never seen anyone move it. Don't worry though, it's not like it follows me around while creepy music plays.

Anyone have a sweet tooth?

Do any of you have a 5 year-old that has had an accident? And that accident is the first one they've ever had since getting out of diapers? And that same 5 year-old can become very embarrassed very quickly? And is also incredibly sensitive about things of that nature? Well we do, and he did. And my heart hurt for him and I wanted to make the whole thing not have happened. So as calmly as I could, I helped him clean up and then hugged him tight. And it is still going to bother him and make him slightly freak the next time he has to use the bathroom. Which may be at school tomorrow. And I won't be there to help him calm down. So I will say a little prayer just for him. And I made it VERY clear to the other kids that they are to pretend like it didn't happen and they are never to mention it again. And I think that's how Heavenly Father treats us when we make a mistake. Not sin, mind you. Just something embarrassing or a slight transgression. It's how we should treat each other. In this highly charged political climate, we would do well to remember that most people try hard to do the right thing and help each other. Especially if they're 5.

For Louise, cause she likes me I guess :)

10 Years Ago I...
1. was about to be pregnant with Sassafras
2. was living south of Atlanta
3. was going to school 2 colleges ago
4. was 20
5. had hair down to my booty

5 Things on today's "to do" list...
1. painting
2. driving
3. cleaning
4. blogging ;P
5. breathing

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire...
1. pay off debt
2. help family with school/debt
3. travel
4. invest
5. build a center for kids who can't read good

5 places I have lived...
1. Lilburn
2. Snellville
3. Carrollton
4. Newnan
5. where I live now

5 jobs I have had...
1. Hat tag taker-offer
2. Commissioned artist
3. retail
4. fast food
5. data input


I tag 5 of whoever wants to do this - so, you, you, you, you, and you

I took Pickles to Boy Scouts tonight. We went on a field trip and one of the things we saw was the house that belonged to the guy that founded the town we live in. The following ensued:
Pickles: What was the name of that guy?
me: It was Colonel ______
Pickles: I thought his name was George
me: It is, but he was a Colonel in the military
Pickles: Ohhhhhh...so he was really small?

He also told another scout, who didn't seem to think it was as cute as I did, that if we were bears, we'd all be about to start hibernating. Wouldn't it be great if humans hibernated? We could use up all our stored fat, get a break from everything, and be ready to start anew in the spring.
Would you like to know a few hibernation facts? You couldn't care less? Oh well...

Squirrels do not hibernate. I always sort of thought they did.
There is a type of bird called the Poorwill that hibernates.
Bears do not truly hibernate, since their temperatures remain fairly stable and they can be easily aroused.
There is a lemur that hibernates, and it is the only primate known to do so.

So aren't you glad you came by? You got a chance to read a funny Pickles story AND learn some fun facts to share at your next party and/or job interview.

So there I was, minding my own business...

I got up and took the kids to school today. Again, I marveled that any mother would be dressed and make-upped and ready to go as I was still in my jammies with a hoodie thrown on. It's pretty dreary today, as it will be nearly all winter. I came home and began earnestly procrastinating. I still have my jammies on, and I'm following links from friends' blogs and I realized that I MISS HOME! An emotional tsunami of homesickness washed over me. I was totally not expecting it because I've really been having a good time with my friends here. I lead a beading class at Soup-er Saturday last weekend, I've helped do Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts this week, and I got to hang out with two of my favorite people here yesterday afternoon. So where the crap did all this homesickness come from? My morning would not have been much different in Gaw-ga, but the whole experience would have changed. Mornings in GA start with lots of animal noises. *insert farm/redneck jab here* F'real doh. Even if you live in a neighborhood, someone on the next street over has chickens and those little buggers start cockling and doodle dooing before the sun comes up. And all the little birdies in the trees too.

-side story-
when I was about knee high to a grass hopper, I came out of my room one morning and asked Mommy what that noise was. It's the birds, Shelle, they're singing! Isn't it beautiful? No. Tell them to BE QUIET. See? I've been pleasant my whole life :)

Ok, back to my wallowing. You can also hear various neighborhood dogs barking. Everyone pretty much has a dog. I'm pretty sure that phrase "Everybody's brother and their dog" had a Southern source. We even had goats in our backyard one time (we traded them for firewood from trees we had taken down) and those guys would be making all kinds of racket too. Is the scene set? Good. There is also sometimes a light fog in the woods coming up off the creeks/ponds/lakes that are everywhere. Most neighborhoods/trailor parks have at least one creek running through the back of them. Because copperheads have to have somewhere to live. This fog doesn't usually last that long, but if you're up early enough to see it, then you'll also be up early enough to smell the clay while it's still all wet with dew. I wish I could bottle that smell. Pine needles, red clay, and something so deep down and earthy that it defies description. Well, I'll try to describe it anyway. Like the footprints of native people, the clean sweat of numberless field workers, and the blood shed from too many wars. Too literary?

The sky in the mornings starts with a pale yellow and you can almost watch it turn blue. A blue that doesn't happen anywhere else. You don't get much sky there, so it's concentrated. Here in the Midwest, the sky's so big that the blue is all stretched out. In the deep south though, the rolling hills covered in trees sort of blocks out a lot of the sky. When we moved here 3 yrs ago, I would feel agoraphobic if I was up on a bluff, because you can almost see more than 180 degrees of sky! Too much, too much my brain would scream! I'm OK now, just in case you were worried about my brain screaming.

So, d'ya think that writing all this down will help me feel better? I prolly should still call some folks today just to get a Southern fix. It makes me a little sad that when people meet me and find out where I'm from that they say, Wow! I had no idea, you don't even have an accent. Well, I haven't been steeping it for the last 3 years, thanks very much. Don't worry, I'm sure it will come back when we go home.

So I'll just click my red converse (I'm not really a glittery shoe type of girl) together 3 times and say...
there's no place like the ATL
there's no place like the ATL
there's no place like the ATL


PS, if you want to see Obama ride a rainbow unicorn go here. Thanks Eve.

I stole this one from someone else's blog but it's too good not to share. In your face Olivia! But in a nice friendly way of course :)


and the other part of the phrase from the last blog is "wild hair up my butt" Sorry to cause confusion - Nobo, I'm talking to you...