I'm feeling sad today.

My grandfather, who taught me (sometimes through my mother) to do things like mix up words to be silly. Or to make up stories. Or to make virtually everything funny. To be a member of the look-em-up club. All you had to do to be in the club was to always be curious and look things up if you didn't know them. Granddad, who calls himself the silverback (as in gorilla) of our family. Who started learning Spanish in his 70's. Who researched our genealogy back to the early 1600's. My granddad is sick.

My granddad is in the hospital and probably won't leave it. He's suffering from numerous ailments as he starts his 85th year. We're sort of preparing for the end of his life. And I'm feeling kind of raw about it. I don't like funerals. I especially don't like viewings, but the funerals are bad too. But I'll go, because I think my mom and my sisters will need me there.

We need each other in times of grief. We need to be sad with other people who understand how much we love each other. All of the nice things that people say and do are needed too, but only family and close friends know you well enough to not say anything at all. So from more than 800 miles away, I'm trying to be supportive of my family and deal with everything here as well as preparing myself emotionally.

But he's still here for now, and who knows what may be. Just say a little prayer for my family and especially my step-grandmother, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle.