a few conspiracy theories to _______________ you,
Give us your foreskin and we'll leave you alone...but not really.
The CDC is considering urging all parents to circumcise their children. Oops! Did I say children? I meant your boys. A govt institution, that admittedly is in some ways a good organization, wants to tell you whether or not to cut off part of your little boy's penis. Is that a little harsh to read? Too bad. Not harsher than having part of your body removed without your consent.
And it will all end with a big pile of pulsating bio-goo.
Scientists
Kiss your mother with that keyboard?
This one is great. A crazy chick called another crazy chick a skank anonymously on her blog. The crazy skank sued Google to find out the identity of the crazy blogger. The judge ruled in the crazy skank's favor. Now the crazy blogger is suing Google for $15 million for unmasking her. She would have asked for more, but she can't count that high.
Yes, I am feeling rather mean today, since you asked.
Karma is a bitch.
Bernie Madoff, the old guy who lived it up on other peoples' money, went to prison. Forever. Now he's telling everyone he has cancer. Think he really does? Cause, you know, jail probably isn't as much fun as stealing widows' life-savings.
She's not just my sister, she's also my wife!
This is why the jokes we tell are always about Alabama. Or Abalama as GrandDad used t'say. Modern-day Hatfields and McCoys got into it the other night. This is favorite part "The town's police chief was hit in the head with a crowbar but was OK." How much you wanna bet whoever got arrested sat in his jail cell hootin n hollerin when his news story came on?
I don't feel so brave in this world.
So now the Big O, and I don't mean Oprah, wants to create a special interrogation unit led by our prestigious Commander. Oh but don't worry, he won't have anything to do with it. The FBI will be in charge of it. But doesn't the CIA usually cover Intelligence? Yup. I'm thinking they're not too happy about this. You know, why don't they just hire Google to track everyone? They already track everyone's online movements. And just so you know, I'm not thrilled about Google checking out my cookies. (my online cookies, weirdo)
There you go. Now go forth, and conspire.
8 comments:
I am in the middle of a book about scientists creating a new life that ended up being a curse on humanity, so thanks for the heads up that scientists are trying to emulate fiction.
Too bad Madoff doesn't live in Scotland, he could be home tomorrow.
Haven't heard of the "special interrogation" yet. I think they should call it the "Inquisition." Or maybe he could try to make it popular by comparing it to the post office. I've heard that works well.
I apologize for being such a geek that I had to add links so my comments would make sense. I'm off to finish that book I'm reading.
My first thought wasn't that you're a geek. It was second. No, my first thought was "I wish I knew how to put links in comments."
I like that Obama got called "wrong-headed." I think I'm gonna use that. Except I'll put an accent on it.
So does this mean that instead of bandaids, we will have to start putting stamps on our boo-boos?
And I'm waiting for Brown's response to the Lockerbie scandal as well, so you are not the only citizen of geek planet.
And one more thing - what's the book? I could go check Goodreads, but I don't want anyone else to miss out. Also, I'm too lazy to go check.
Also, do you like how's there's a whole other blog post in the comment section?
you type: a href="URL you're linking to" (all surrounded in <>) then type the words you want to see in the link then (surrounded in <> again)/a
It is a handy little trick.
I think that, since the post office reference didn't work, Obama should compare gov't health care to a trip to the DMV.
I haven't added the book to goodreads yet. I am almost embarrassed to be caught reading it (but we all have our guilty pleasures, right?). It is Twilight Eyes by Dean Koontz. Technically I'm not even reading it, I am listening to an audio version while I'm cleaning.
He could also reference the IRS or the TSA. Those would probably work too.
Thanks for the tip. Look for a link coming to a comment section near you.
And let me know how the book turns out. If it's good, I may read it. I used to read a lot of Koontz and stuff like that.
Looks like this: <a href="http://ucmama.blogspot.com" >Click Me!<a/>
It takes a real geek to know how to type that.
Mikey, I will always bow down to your greek cred.
Sigh, hooray, I had been missing me some good conspiracy theories.
In brief, since it's YOUR blog, here are my responses:
a) creepy
b) creepier
c) what the?
d) hah-hah! (ala Nelson)
e) I KNEW you would blog about this the first time I saw that story!
f)So . . . you think the CIA was doing a real bang-up job at that do ya?
No, I don't think the FBI or the CIA does a very good job. I think the majority of the people in the organizations are good people who have their hands tied by higher-ups. I also think that interrogation unit that Obama is trying to get started may have had its roots in the Patriot Act under W. See? I'm an equal opportunity conspirator. I think they're all crazy.
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