Last week...


I had to tell Sassafras not to use the bunny as a weapon.


I made beef jerky. Teriyaki and Peppered, in case you were wondering. In the dehydrator, in case you were wondering that too.

I grew alfalfa sprouts in a mason jar. I've been doing it for years. They're delicious. And nutritious. And expeditious.


I finished up all my classes, except one. I have that test today.

I called Eve. Finally...

I read 4 books, just for fun. Not especially productive during finals week, but necessary for samity nontheless.

James and I wrote love notes to each other for Valentines Day. We're not big on giving each other gifts for holidays, so it was free and quite sweet. Awwwwww....

I'll just hold on a sec as you clean the puke from the sweetness off your keyboard...

Done?

Good. Moving on.

Anyway, my plan for this week is to clean my house really well, spend time with the kids, and get my act pulled together to start my grad program at school. And maybe blog a little more often.

So, I should probably go do that now.

A few shots of my kids, in no particular order. If you're a crazy stalker, please don't steal them. Unless I'm related to you. In which case, carry on.

Mom, I KNOW that my chair cushion is turned the wrong way. Disregard the zipper and just enjoy the awesomeness of your babies in their jammies at 3PM. Also, be glad I didn't put up the pic of Rowlf licking Pickles' face.


posing Pickles

candid Pickles

She couldn't even smile for ONE!

A shot showing Sassafras's personality. "Why are you taking pictures of me again?

BunBun

Bud, looking like his dad. Mom, check out the chin dimples, a la Shannon!

the Hamster and Rowlf

A boy and his dog

Things I'm planning to do this weekend, not in any particular order

visit a sick friend
take the kids sledding
wash my stinky stinky boots
study Organic Chemistry
finish 2 research papers
clean my house
call Eve and Rebeccah
find James' camera


We'll see how far I get on this list...

*editor's note. All I finished was cleaning the house. Ah well. There's always the rest of my life to finish stuff right?

Anybody else ever feel the need to see, smell, be near, be in... big water?
A river, a lake, an ocean?

yeah, me too.

I'm sort of landlocked out here in the Midwest. Luckily there's quite a large river running through town. It's dirty. Like too dirty to eat anything out of it.

But it's there.

Rushing and powerful at its heart. Slow moving eddies at the periphery. Winding and swirling. Dark shadows and a bottomless belly. A belly that holds rusty refrigerators, a car or two, giant man-eating catfish, maybe a body or twenty.

It's not ideal water for me, but I do need to drive miles along its length at times. Surrounded by snow all winter has me feeling a feverish for something other than white and gray. I'm ready for Spring. I want to smell green things. At the grocery store, I push my cart through the flower section. I walk past my baby chives on the window sill at home and inhale deeply. I touch the leaves of the pea plant that Pickles tucked into the soil a month ago.

I need to go camping. I need to go hiking. I need. I need. I need.

Why is water so cleansing? I believe Heavenly Father made our need for water part of the great plan. We can immerse ourselves in this life-giving force and feel the weight, quite literally, removed from our shoulders. We begin our existence in water. We are born in a flood of fluid.

My sign is Cancer. Is that a sign? Ah, astrology, I'll save you for another post.

For now, I'm gonna go take a bath...

I'm feeling better. It helps that my children are quirky. Meet the Hamster, if you haven't already. He's 4.



the Hamster, very close to my face while I'm zipping his coat: Mom! I eated aNOTHER cookie.
me: How many were you told you could have?
the Hamster: one, but I really couldn't helped it

**********************************
the Hamster: I'm feeling feev-il.
me, wondering if it was a combo of evil and say, furry?: What are you saying?
the Hamster: feevil, you know tired. And a lil' sick
me: You feel feeble? You realize you're only 4, right?
the Hamster: Yeah, I'm feevil of only being 4.

**********************************
the Hamster also says nesterday instead of yesterday. Since he's my last baby, I have an internal struggle over whether to correct it, or to let it ride and enjoy the sweetness. I could use the sweetness...

warning: gritty post

I'm sure some of you noticed that I didn't go to church for the last several months. I'm sure you've wondered why. But only a handful of people actually asked me how I was doing or what I've been up to. I've been dealing with family issues from every side. My family, my extended family, James' extended family...

I'm cynical right now.

So, as immature as it may have been, I deleted a lot of people from my facebook profile. I narrowed it down to family and close friends. That means that most of the people from church are no longer "connected" to me on facebook. If I un-friended you, deal with it.

I am in more pain right now than I have been in a long time. I'm working on it. I know I will get through it. If you've been supportive of me and my family, I thank you. I truly appreciate it because I know how hard it is to keep a family together AND extend yourself to others at the same time. It's exhausting.

I don't fault anyone for not going out of their way to call or stop by. If you have, then I thank you. If you didn't, I understand that everyone has their own priorities. It's OK. But if I don't reach out right now, don't take it personally. I'm fairly private about what I'm feeling.

What I need is prayers. If you call and I don't answer, it's because I'm conserving my energy. I realize this post is heavy and possibly full of contradictions but it's hard to organize my thoughts.

I don't know what I want to come from letting all of you know a small part of what's going on, but I needed to get it out.