My Valentine

My husband James is far from perfect. He's rough with the kids without meaning to be, he's says things with an honest bluntness that's highly unpolished, and he's rebellious to the point of stupidity at times.

James doesn't know how to match his clothes and he doesn't care. He can't spell and he doesn't care. He also thinks social rules are ridiculous.

James doesn't look or behave like a "typical" Mormon guy. James wears earrings and has since he was 16. He has a goatee. He hates wearing suits. He never went on a mission (although he is looking forward to going on one with me when we're old).

In short, he's not the guy my mother would have picked for me to marry. She never would have chosen someone who's legally blind. Or someone who has a nasty habit of spitting (it is nasty!). Or someone who would want her daughter to live south of Atlanta in a place a lot more redneck than I grew up.

She would have chosen someone who had already graduated from college. Someone who says the right things and wears the right clothes. Someone who knows where he's going and how to get there.

But, my mom also would have chosen someone who loved me more than himself. Someone who would be willing to do anything to make me happy. Someone who was selfless in taking care of me and our children.

James is those things. Not the polished guy, but the other guy. The guy who makes me laugh, the guy who gently puts our kids to sleep with stories he downloads, listens to, and then recites because he can't see well enough to read them books. James is the guy who gives me foot rubs several times a week. He calls me several times a day to say "I love you". He tells me I'm beautiful. He thanks me for being a mother to our kids. He thanks me for everything I do for him.

James does know where he's going. He just sometimes takes the scenic route. Sometimes he needs help remembering how to stay on the right path to get where he wants to go. But I know that we were meant for each other. I don't believe in soul mates. Or in only one anyway. I think he and I could have been OK if we'd married other people. But I do think we're perfect for each other. We teach each other. We help each other. We love each other.

And although it's ironic that an artist would marry a blind guy, it works. I'm so thankful to be married to James. I wouldn't be the person I am without him.