This conversation actually happened.

Let me set the scene for you.

A cold February day in WhereIlive. It's overcast, the wind is blowing. I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mailman. It's nearly 2:30PM.

*mailman arrives at my stairs and steps on the pieces of cute ceramic mushrooms he had previously stepped on and broken*

me (not so nicely): Hey!

Mailman: Uh, hi?

me: Did you bring back those letters you took out of the mailbox two days ago?

Mailman: huh?

me (slowly): I said...Did...you...bring...back...the...letters?

Mailman: What letters?

me: I left three letters in the mailbox so I could get them the next day.

Mailman: Why would you do that?

me (rapidly so I could get the whole thing out): Because I have 4 kids. Only 3 Valentines' Day cards came so I was waiting for the 4th one to come so no one would be sad about not getting theirs. I left the 3 in the box. There was a letter paper-clipped to the front of the box, like you told us was the proper way to get things picked up. The others were inside. You should have left them in there.

Mailman: How's a mailman supposed to know that?

me (incredulously and loudly): Are you KIDDING me? There was an address on the front of the envelopes for THIS HOUSE! They had THIS address on them! They were already stamped from having been sent through the mail! How could you not know that?

Mailman: Oh, sorry.

me: OK, well they're all here now, so good.

*scene fades out*


I know the end was pretty anticlimactic, but what do you say after your shroom crushing mailman apologizes? I suspect he didn't entirely understand what the problem was, or why the crazy lady was yelling at him, but sheee-yooooot! It's HIS JOB to know about letters.