'Cause I be bored, Matey, I be writing this whole post in the language of pirates, ARRRRR!

So oy be taken me kids to school t'day fer some brain-swabbing. We be gettin up fair early round these ports. They be a bit, might grouchy in the morn, an I ha' t'say I canna blame em, me hearty.

Me wee Hamster tole me he do not wanna get up ou' the snug-ly sheets. Yarr, I say to th' lad! Hoist your main sail and get a move on!

Do we be havin t' go t' the house o' learnin agin, Ma?, they do be pleadin! Aye, I say. There be power in th' booty of knowledge, ya lily-livered sprogs!

Then off me ownself true. To school I be goin to, for how else to be earnin th' fine dubloons when we be graduating?

After a sittin through many a long hour of land-lubbers a teachin, it be time to pirate me wee tiny mateys agin. I be pullin the Jolly Roger up to the port, an I do see the lil wench Sassafras a'ter Bud a'lookin to keel haul him! Shiver me timbers, I do be sayin!

He be a no good, dirty Scallywag!, she do declare. I be offerin em all the greatest grandest grog for snack an they be a quietin down.

We be havin a fine good peaceful eve here on th furner. I got pieces o eight in me bibs, I aint be makin no one walk th plank or be sendin them to Davy Jones locker, an I be a happy lass!

Thar be a grand good day in th life of a buccaneer lass, me hearty...

YO-HO-HO!