I was going to title this post "Things that made my day weird". But then I realized that it's not necessarily the things that were weird (or any weirder than normal), but the overabundance of weirdness. It's Spring, and apparently weird was in bloom today.

Today I had to:

tell Pickles that it's most definitely NOT ok to bring handcuffs to church.

try to explain to my kids why incest was necessary for Adam and Eve's children.

explain patiently that James that playing water balloons with the kids in 40 degree weather with snow on the ground was a bad idea.

explain (not so) patiently to James to stop trying to talk to me while standing next to the computer with a water balloon in his hand.

clean Parmesan cheese out of my bra.

clean blue chalk off a child's face 5 times.

figure out what to take to my x-ray lab tomorrow.

play "What's that smell?" in the truck.

wash my hands like an OCD sufferer on crack after finding what that smell was.


How was your day? Any weirder than normal?

Were you good? Or if you weren't, did you at least avoid getting caught?

OK, then. I'll share some more of the amazing pics Mama Howerton took last Saturday.

I'm putting up the ones she changed to B&W, and then a few of all of them together.

My very cool friend watched our kids the other day when James and I went to the temple. She's very good at photography, especially with children. *Thank you, thank you, thank you!* These are just a few of the pics she took. If you're really good, maybe, just maybe, I'll post some more later.

This one is of Sassafras. It's not one of the prettier ones, but it's so natural. I can't believe Mama Howerton got such a relaxed one of Sass when she knew she was being photographed.

Here's a posed one. Check out those freckles!

Mr. Pickles...

Pickles and his friend Chan. Pickles looks slightly psycho.

Sweet Bud

You can click on this one to see his freckles - they match Sass's!

Hamster smiling - his usual expression :)

Hamster and Eugene - HA!

Goings On
James and I went to the Nauvoo temple today. I forgot it was a tourist destination because it is the temple we're supposed to go to. This means I also forgot that you have to reserve a spot for the sessions. My friend, Mama Howerton, watched the kiddos so James and could go together. Normally we drive down with all of them, and then trade off. So we rarely get to go through together. It was beautiful. The weather was perfect. The temple is amazing.It had been far too long since James and I had been to the temple, so it was very much needed.

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We still don't know where we need to live.

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Bud yells bizarre things at inappropriate times. Example: I have heard several times in the last few days "I'm a professional!" coming from the bathroom, his bedroom, and the back of the truck.

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I accidentally cut Hamster's hair off. I cut the older boys' hair this morning. Hamster was last. I trimmed the back. I turned him around to do the front. He ducked, I gapped him. BAD! He had a reverse mohawk through his sweet little curls. I almost cried. He won't look at himself in the mirror. He's nearly unrecognizable. James and I named his hair, Eugene. We would joke that Eugene had such a big personality, that we had to feed it special food, and that we had to make sure not to make it angry. Weird, I know, but funny. Trust me. Well, Eugene is no more. RIP Eugene, RIP...

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Pickles had his Pinewood Derby last week. Last year, he was out in the first race. Needless to say, he cried. That's one of Pickles' super powers - the ability to cry in any given situation. So we had a pep talk about not crying. Even if he was the first one out. He wasn't the first one out this year, but he didn't win anything. He cried. We went out for ice cream. What else can you do? He also had his acting showcase. He played the prince. He kind of had to, since he was the only boy in a class with 8 girls.

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Sassafras is still obnoxious. But we love her anyway. Poor thing has a lot do deal with by being the oldest kid of two oldest kids. We've started a fund so she can get some really good therapy later.

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The kids start their Spring Break this week. Unfortunately, I don't have a break. So they are going to stay with this cool lady and her kids during the days. I promised them we would have an awesome mom/kid day on Friday (when I don't have class) if they would behave during the week. Behaving means not telling each other to shut up, stupid. Or use various materials to build weapons of small amounts of destruction.

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I was sitting in my truck at Walmart last night on the phone.

I was sitting in my truck because I can't shop and talk at the same time.

So I was sitting in my truck and I feel a bump. Some one had backed into me while I was in my truck! I jumped out as they were about to race off. They saw me and got out too.

Now, I drive a Suburban. I would have to be smashed between 2 semis for my truck to get a dent, but still.

me: What are you doing?
Stupid Dude: Huh? Oh sorry.
me: Watch what you're doing!
Stupid Dude: I said sorry. It was an accident.
me: Well, you can't just go around hitting other people's cars!
Stupid Dude: I didn't mess up your car, I just tapped you.
me: Yes, but it's MY car! Be careful!
Stupid Dude: OK, sorry.
me: Whatever.

OK, so this sort of highlights how I talk to strangers. But only strangers who do stupid things. I leave most strangers alone.

This was at the "nice" Walmart too. Usually I shop at the Simpsons Walmart. That's what I call it because all the shoppers there look like Simpsons characters. Think Moe, or Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel. Yeah, I shop there too, but I'm more like the pretty celebrity doing a cameo.

They're renovating the nice Walmart, although honestly I don't know how they could improve it. It's already everything I could ask for in a shopping experience.

I went shopping late last night. I do this to avoid shopping with children. I wait until they're in bed, then I take "me" time to go buy Pull-ups and cereal. Actually, I did have kind of a nice time by myself, minus the Stupid Dude tapping my bumper. I got to talk to my sista-friend Eve, and then I went to Nobody's to talk politics with J hang out for an hour or so. So I actually did get to have some grown-up conversation. You'd think I'd be able to have grown-up conversations at school. You'd think that, but you'd be wrong.

I'm taking a philosophy class. It's a philosophy class based on the degree that I'm getting. It's sort of anti-Western medicine philosophy. So I sat through an hour of brainwashing philosophy yesterday. The professor blah-blahed on about how terrible MD's are and how backwards allopathic medicine is. Finally I'd had enough. I raised my hand and said that I thought what he was saying was all well and good, but if I cut my arm off, I'm going to the hospital. I also told him that 99% of people who go into Medicine are in it to help people. They truly want to help people be healthy. He listened politely and changed the subject.

I don't think my philosophy prof will invite me out for drinks anytime soon.

I was reading over the last few posts I wrote. Whatever, that is SO not narcissistic. Just because I made my own blog my home page...

So anyway, I sound pretty stinkin whiny. It's about to put me off my own blog. Since I can't take myself off my sidebar (don't look, it's not REALLY there), I figured I better post one that's a little more upbeat.

I took the kids to the St. Patrick's Day parade last Saturday. Sass ran in the 1-mile race beforehand. She didn't win, but since running with a bunch of other sweaty people is kind of its own reward, she didn't mind. She did get a t-shirt, so that was kind of cool. The parade is a bi-state parade. It starts in one state, crosses the bridge, and ends in our state. Pretty cool. We saw gorillas riding bicycles, big hairy guys with boobs and wigs(I had fun explaining that one later), different clans, green dogs. That was at Walmart where we stopped for snacks before the parade. At the parade...

I didn't take a camera, since I need a new one (ha!), but the friend we met down at the parade, took her camera. I actually think Mama Howerton has had her camera surgically attached to her arm, a la Edward Scissorhands. But as soon as she sends me copies of the pics she took, (hint, hint) I'll post them.

It was good to get out in the sunshine Saturday. Of course, since it got above freezing, everyone was out and about.

I'm really looking forward to warmer weather. It'll be exciting to get into a new place once we're done packing and moving. I'm not nearly as sick as I was. I think Spring is the cure for what I've got. Plus a new camera of course...

C'mon Spring. We're ready!

I hate moving.

• Herb jars/Kitchen
• Mothering books/Living Room
• Cleaning/Bathroom - under counter

I hate packing up the things that support my daily life into labeled boxes.

I'd like to be able to say that I'm not attached to my things, but I am.

It's really hard to be going to school full time, move a household of 6, buy a house, keep a Suburban running, try to be a bridesmaid from 850 miles away, be sick - did I remember everything?

oh yeah,

Try to be a good mother and wife too. So if I don't email, text, call you back anytime soon, it's not cause I don't love you, it's because I can't fit another thing in.

I feel really sick right now, and it's not the chest cold I've got...

I'm still sick. I went to the doctor and she told me the best thing for me is a camera.

I skipped school today. I got up to take the kids to their schools and came back to bed. I slept until 1PM. It was great. But not enough to cure me. I'll probably try to sleep more tomorrow.

Since trying to come up with a good post is as easy for me right now as trying to run through jello would be, I'll just share a few kidling conversations we've had lately.

me: Stop trying to ride the dog!
Hamster: Buh, he WIKES it!

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Bud: There's that graveyard you take us to sometimes, Mom.
me: Sure is.
Bud: I like going there for picnics, to take walks, to color on the tombstones...
(for the record, we do rubbings, we do NOT color the headstones)
me: Yeah, it's nice.
Bud: When can we go there again?
me: When it's warm out again.
Bud: When can we dig up one of the graves?
me: (fully becoming aware of the convo rather than half-listening) WHAT!?!?!?
Bud: I want to dig up a grave.
me: What? WHY?
Bud: You know, to see a body.
me: Yeah, you know Bud, we're not going to do that. When we go, it's important to be respectful of the people who died. We don't dig up bodies, Dude.
Bud: (quietly) awwww, man

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Pickles: There's a kid at school whose eyebrows make a point over the middle of his nose.
me: That's called a unibrow. U-N-I-B-R-O-W. 'uni' means one.
Pickles: OK, so anyway, this kid with the eyebrows called me a wiener dog.
me: Oh yeah? What did you say?
Pickles: I thought it was funny and I also think wiener dogs are cute.
me: Did you say that you thought wiener dogs are cute?
Pickles: No, I just thought it.
me: You probably shouldn't go around saying things are cute so much at school.

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This is normally where I would put a funny story about Sassafras. Lately, however, the things she's been saying have been a lot more obnoxious than funny. Oh well, I guess she doesn't get to be famous this week.

Weird News Wednesday
This little gal had her leg mangled when she stepped on a land mine. Now she can walk again! It's cool that they could help the elephant, but it also highlights the tragedies that befall innocent victims of land mines.

Whoa!

That was me falling off my soap box. With a head cold, my balance is a little off.



How'd you like to wake up to a kangaroo in bed with you? I bet the 'roo that jumped in bed with this Aussie couple wasn't nearly as cute as Hippety Hopper.



And you thought magnets were just for the fridge!
No! They're for making sure the cows are aligned. What? You didn't realize they needed an alignment?
Google Earth, besides spying on you, also takes pictures of cows. mmmm-hm, yep.

I'm sick. A new camera would probably help me feel better.

I can't stop coughing. It's a dry barking cough that makes my chest/head/throat/hair/toenails/bellybutton hurt.

I started classes again today. 18 hours, including A&P II, X-Ray Tech, Radiographic Anatomy, and others. It should be interesting.

You know what else is interesting? That I thought 12 hours of classes was hard when I was 18 with no husband, job, or children. Now I would love to only take 12 hours at a time. But I'd also like to finish this degree.

One cool thing about X-Ray Tech is that the final project is to make an art project using x-rays. I'll have to think about what I'd like to do with this. It should be fun.

Now I have to go scoop my brains up off the floor where I just coughed them out.

This video is for my mom

OK, Youtube took it down because it's copyrighted. Go here instead.

http://www.popcrunch.com/justin-timberlake-jessica-biel-snl-skit-video-030709/

Well, crap.

So anyway, it was a hilarious SNL skit that NBC is being greedy about. I know, I know. Intellectual property and all.

Justin Timberlake was Irving, Cathy's boyfriend from the comic strip. Irving talks about how sexy Cathy is under her acrylic sweater and 4 layers of sweaty support hose. And how he wouldn't look twice if Jessica Rabbit walked by. And then Jessica Biel walks out dressed like Mrs. Rabbit. It's much funnier than my description. Hopefully NBC will let the people have what they want soon.

I need a new camera.

My birthday is in June.

ahem...

No new news on the finding a new place to live issue. We're thinking about buying a house that needs some cosmetic work done (NOT structural) and just fixing it up. I have another year before I finish my latest degree, so I'll have at least half a year following to finish prettifying a house.
So if you know of a house that:

• doesn't cost too much
• doesn't need a ridiculous amount of work done to it
• is in a neighborhood that doesn't require bullet-proof glass and/or bars in the windows
• isn't in a neighborhood where "pretty" girls hang out on street corners

let me know, k?

Free Arby's Sandwich (and because 3 posts in less than 24 hours is special)

go to arbys.com

click on More Stuff tab at the top (in the middle)

on the bottom right of this page click on Let The Madness Begin

this opens up the Facebook page (I know you can probably approach this easier than this)

1/2 way down on the right click on Get a Free Roastburger

this opens up the coupon, you can print as many as you want, one coupon per person

ENJOY!

Just a heads-up for anyone who may have a child who enjoys Dora the Explorer.

Dora's getting a makeover.

She'll be getting longer hair, a shorter skirt, and ballet flats. Possibly because she's not sexy enough?!?

I can't tell you how tired I am of the sexualization of our children.

I thought about posting yesterday. I had a good one brewing in my head about the relationship between government policy becoming softer on drugs while simultaneously becoming more powerful and controlling in other areas. I wanted to examine how Americans are quite happy with giving up their freedoms as long as they have their opiate, so to speak. I may still do that one soon.

But yesterday I came home to a for sale sign in the yard. I called our landlord, asking what the hell was up with that. He sort of chuckled and said the realtor wasn't supposed to put up the signs until we'd been told. Bad form, jerk, bad form.

Because we didn't sell our house in GA until a year ago, we couldn't buy a house here when we moved 3 years ago. So we've been renting. Well, we couldn't buy last year either, because for 2 years, we haven't had a significant source of income due to both James and I being students. So at this point, we have a few options, and none of them sound very appealing. We can buy a house, but it has to be in a crappy neighborhood and/or cost just a few K, OR go back to a teeny apartment only suitable for hobbits, OR move 20 miles out of town, OR hide and cry. Posting on my blog wasn't really an option yesterday.

What do y'all think? Any ideas?

On a lighter note, I think a sense of humor can be somewhat genetic. Situations that strike a person as funny stimulate the brain a certain way, releasing dopamine, and other feel-good enzymes, in a particular quantity or in a particular area. Since DNA contains the "blueprint" for a person's brain structure, then it stands to reason that a kid would come hardwired similarly to their parents. And then nurture comes into play later. Pickles used to constantly ask if things were funny. "Is that so funny, Mama? Is that so funny?"

What made me take note of this was Hamster tonight. In our bad parent moments, we let Hamster stay up past his bedtime. He's very much a night owl (thanks, Mom) and sometimes we get tired of fighting it. So we're watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the 253rd time. Hamster, in his three-year old glory, burst out laughing as King Arthur came on the screen riding an invisible horse and his page clapped coconut shells together. "No horse, Mom! There's no horse!"

This one is for MelonHead and Curly

I was looking up different types of aprons to make for y'all. I'm going to get or make a pattern, but I want to know what design style appeals most to ya. I know MealonHead likes the retro look. What are you looking for Curly?

Here's what I found:
A really cute heart apron.

Obviously I wouldn't rip off this gal's style, but it definitely gives me some ideas. And y'all should go check out her other aprons/gloves/etc. They are GREAT!











This site has some awesome ones too.


She has a lot, but I especially like the full ones. And obviously I wouldn't rip off her style either. I don't know about y'all, but when I bake or cook, I make a mess EVERYwhere! I've cleaned batter off the ceiling before.












There are also some half aprons I really like too. I found one with a cupcake on the front, and one made with bordered panels.

I want to make it clear that the sites I browsed sell their own products. I wouldn't want someone checking out my stuff and then stealing the ideas that I developed. I was simply looking to be inspired, and I was!

So, ladies,
Full?
Half?
Retro?
Contemporary?
Ruffles?
No ruffles?
Color requests?
Pockets?
LOTS of pockets?

Let me know!

Weird News Wednesday - Outerspace Edition

I've always had a fascination with outerspace. One of my favorite possessions when I was a wee thing was my revolving star chart. I could spin that little guy around to whatever date it happened to be and be able to point out what constellations were shining down from the heavens. I still like to know what's going on up there. So that's what this week's weird news is about. Enjoy!

Did you know that an asteroid came uncomfortably close to Earth Monday? Well Smartypants, I didn't. Apparently it was similar in size to one that exploded over Siberia in 1908 with the force of 1000 nuclear bombs. I know! That's huge! I'm glad it missed. There are so many humans all over the globe now. It's hard for me to imagine in my cushy American home, typing on my laptop, all the human suffering that would have caused. Actually, it's hard for me to imagine all the atrocities that happen on a daily basis across the world. That's another post though, this is just weird news.

Tonight we have a waxing half moon. I love the terms waxing and waning. They make me think of druids or wiccans, or some other nature-based religion having a gathering and paying homage to the lunar body. I've been to a few nighttime gatherings/drum circles like this. They were very peaceful experiences. I didn't feel like I was honoring the moon as a deity, although I'm sure a few people attending probably did, but it was a nice time to pay homage to Heavenly Father and His creations under the light that rules the night. The full moon is on the 10th. The name of this particular full moon is The Full Worm Moon. This is because the ground is soft enough for the worms, who invite the robins. It's also known as the the the Full Crow Moon, and the Full Sap Moon. And when you gaze upon her full face, look just above and you'll see Saturn.

Mars won't really be visible right now since Jupiter is too close (visually) and outshines Mars, but if you have binoculars, you may be able to find it. Binouclars won't work for the next bit of news, and you probably don't have a telescope strong enough to see the river beds/gullies on Mars, but if you did, you may be able to see signs of recent water flow! OK, so recent may mean 1.25 million years ago, but it's still much more recent than researchers previously thought water ran on Mars.

That's all you get today!

You know what I love? Besides those fun fabrics down there in the last post, I mean. I love mangoes. I could eat 2 or 3 mangoes at once. But it has been 9 years since I've eaten one. Guess why.

I'll give you a minute...

Give up?

Because I have an extreme sensitivity to them. Not necessarily the fruit, as my extremely scientific research, i.e. internet searches, has discovered, but merely the skin of the fruit.

Apparently the skin of mangoes is filled with oils that are chemically similar to poison ivy. Yeah. Mangoes are part of the poison sumac family. So peeling 2 mangoes with my teeth and eating them whole 6 hours before my cousin's wedding was a BAD, BAD idea. It's not pretty to have a swollen itchy face/lips/eyes at a wedding.

The fruit by itself is supposedly OK. It's just the skin. So I WILL be buying a mango at the store the next time I go. I just will have James peel it for me.

I'll keep you updated about my reaction, or hopefully lack of.

I love this,

http://www.fabric.com/quilting-fabric-just-arrived-quilting-fabric-currier-ives-sailing-currier-ives-sailing-maps-blue.aspx








And this,


http://www.fabric.com/quilting-fabric-just-arrived-quilting-fabric-kawaii-asian-kawaii-asian-photos-spring.aspx













And this,

http://www.fabric.com/quilting-fabric-just-arrived-quilting-fabric-cat-s-secret-garden-cat-s-secret-garden-wavy-stripe-blue-yellow.aspx














And this,

http://www.fabric.com/quilting-fabric-just-arrived-quilting-fabric-cosmo-chic-cosmo-chic-paisley-citrine.aspx














And this.

http://www.fabric.com/quilting-fabric-just-arrived-quilting-fabric-natural-effects-natural-effects-wavy-stripes-blue-green.aspx










And so many other new fabrics at fabric.com, but I can't post everything I love, because I have to go work on Sassafras's new quilt. She's completely outgrown her old one.