Conversations with Pickles

Pickles: Are leopards mean?
(He asks this question regularly in various forms - Are worms/spiders/wolves/aliens/Bigfoots mean?)
me: Pickles, leopards are animals! Sure, they eat other things to stay alive, but they don't trip other leopards and then laugh! Animals aren't mean.
Pickles: MOM! You know what I mean!
me: Uh, actually Pickles, I don't. But that's what makes you special.
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Pickles: What are we having for dinner?
me: Noodles with sausage, peppers, onions, and mushrooms.
Pickles: That's disgusting Mom! Onions!?! Hey Bud, look at what was in my nose!
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Pickles: When I grow up, I don't want to have any tattoos.
me: Well you don't have to. You never have to do anything you don't want to do. There are consequences for every action, good and bad. And-
Pickles (interrupting): Cause it would hurt. And I don't want to get my ears pierced either. You know, like Dad.
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Pickles: You know what I hear sometimes when you talk Mom?
me: tell me my little cheeseburger...
Pickles: blah, blah, blah, blah. I TRY to listen, but sometimes you're boring!
me: Pickles, don't be rude. When I talk to you, it's important that you listen.
Pickles: huh?
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Pickles: I want a gecko for a pet.
me: You have to keep your room clean. That will show me that you're responsible enough for a pet.
Pickles: A gecko won't care if my room is clean.
me: That's not the point.
Pickles: Ok then, how about a turtle?
me: No.
Pickles: Then how about a red eared slider?
me: That's a kind of turtle
Pickles: How did you know that?
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Pickles: Mom, you said there was no such thing as a Super Croc
(Prehistoric reptiles are another favorite topic around here)
me: That's not what I said. I said it's not called a super croc technically. It has a scientific name.
Pickles: Oh, I know. It's a Sarcosuchus imperator. They found it in the desert and it was more than two of our trucks long. It weighed about 8 tons.
(Pickles likes facts)
me: That's very interesting Pickles. You're so smart!
Pickles: I know. I thought for awhile that I was smarter than you since you said there was no Super Croc.
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Pickles: Sometimes I wish I was a cartoon character.